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As a former adoptions social worker, I say YES! I love you people! I wish there were SO MANY more of you, and many fewer random procreators. I had many clients who did the same, i.e., adopted sibling groups...beautiful people!
And for those unaware, there is a federal program calle Aid to Adoptive parents (AAP), which provides funding to adoptive parents for the myriad of things these children need, like therapy & specialized medical care. If you want to donate money, that is where it should go, and I mean to public adoption agencies, who work their azzes off for these children.
I don't have any kids, but a family member adopted as a single mother and I love her daughter as I would my own (if I had any). IMO, my relative is the best parent ever. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I try to recreate (in my head) the sound of her looking for her mother around the house or in the back or front yard (when she was little) to ask her if I could take her to do some particular activity. Hearing her say 'mama' as she looked around the house for her mother was very comforting. If I had recorded that. and later played it back for a psychologist, I have no doubt that the psychologist would have said...just by the tone of her voice... that 'that child sounds very content, well cared for, and loved'.
As an adopted person, I would rather end adoption and increase family preservation. We are failing miserably if a family cannot stay together. Love you mom...forever
Being adopted hurts. Being adopted is hard. It is not beautiful; it is brutal, it is tragic, it is a cause for great sadness. For in order for a child to even be available for adoption, that child must first go through some sort of tragedy; whether that be abuse, hunger, homelessness, neglect, or even the simple fact that he or she is losing the life and family he or she was born into. This makes adoption a thing to mourn; not a cause for celebration or joy. To be joyful about adopting a child is to be glad that this tragedy happened. Want To Adopt? Adult Adoptee Support
I think it depends on the situation. The adoptee in my family was likely born in a field, and was left on the doorstep of the orphanage (on another continent....not in North America) as a newborn. We have no idea who her birth mother was.
RAD is more likely to be caused by neglectful or abusive parenting then by placing an infant with parents who meet the needs of the infant. Even if there is one or two disruptions. The earlier the better prognosis there is for the child.
As an adopted person, I would rather end adoption and increase family preservation. We are failing miserably if a family cannot stay together. Love you mom...forever
Being adopted hurts. Being adopted is hard. It is not beautiful; it is brutal, it is tragic, it is a cause for great sadness. For in order for a child to even be available for adoption, that child must first go through some sort of tragedy; whether that be abuse, hunger, homelessness, neglect, or even the simple fact that he or she is losing the life and family he or she was born into. This makes adoption a thing to mourn; not a cause for celebration or joy. To be joyful about adopting a child is to be glad that this tragedy happened. Want To Adopt? Adult Adoptee Support
I agree. I would like to see adoption restricted (although not ended completely) and more efforts made to keep children with their bio parents. People tend to see adoption as some happy fairy tale but don't think about the fact it is often rooted in tragedy and unfortunate circumstances.
As an adopted person, I would rather end adoption and increase family preservation. We are failing miserably if a family cannot stay together. Love you mom...forever
Being adopted hurts. Being adopted is hard. It is not beautiful; it is brutal, it is tragic, it is a cause for great sadness. For in order for a child to even be available for adoption, that child must first go through some sort of tragedy; whether that be abuse, hunger, homelessness, neglect, or even the simple fact that he or she is losing the life and family he or she was born into. This makes adoption a thing to mourn; not a cause for celebration or joy. To be joyful about adopting a child is to be glad that this tragedy happened. Want To Adopt? Adult Adoptee Support
Thank you for sharing your story. I am an adoptive mom and these stories like the OP don't give me happy tears and goose bumps. Its a tragic situation every time a birth parent cant parent, and also for that child. And there is pain in being an adoptive parent as well...even though it isn't popular to say.
My children mourn the loss of their bio family, their culture and even a part of themselves. We deal with it a lot. I know I cant fix it. I can love them. I can show them that it is ok to both love and be angry at their birth parents at times (or at me). I can let them know that there isn't one second where their love for their birth family makes me feel less loved by them. And I can respect their desire for (age appropriate) information and share what I have. I can respect their journey is their own. That is all I can do.
But I am also a person who should have been taken from my birth parents when I was born and placed with a stable, healthy and loving family (two severely mentally ill parents raised me, and it was known). I have worked with kids stuck in the foster care loop while the courts give chances over and over to bio parents who just aren't going to get their act together. Until the child is so damaged by the constant lack of security in their lives that they are unlikely to find a family educated and strong enough to help the child heal.
People always say its age that makes a child more or less attractive for adoption. It isn't. Its the level of trauma the child has experienced and the adoptive families resources to address those. That often reflects in age. But age isn't that great of a yardstick either.
I think people are doing their best, but I do think the reluctance to TPR damages children further and shows a window to our past where children were just objects of possession.
I hope you take my words with compassion, as I intend them. The adoptive parenting community is making huge strides in understanding our beautiful children and how to best support them through one of the worst traumas a child can endure, the loss of their biological parents.
I also want to add...as happy as this story sounds...the adoptive parents have a huge uphill battle to meet all these kids needs. 5 kids is a lot when they are healthy and well attached. 5 kids with developmental trauma...I hope they are given lotsof support.
I agree. I would like to see adoption restricted (although not ended completely) and more efforts made to keep children with their bio parents. People tend to see adoption as some happy fairy tale but don't think about the fact it is often rooted in tragedy and unfortunate circumstances.
Restricted yes, ended no. There are many women that give their babies up for adoption because they are either too young or don't have the means to support them. They made the hard decision to give their babies to someone who could give them a better life instead of aborting them. Then there are drug addicts that can't even take care of themselves let alone a child.
I do feel there needs to be stricter circumstances and screenings on adoption. I knew a couple who adopted a newborn 2 years ago. They already had 2 biological children who almost were taken away from them for abuse and both were in counseling for anger management. They shouldn't have been able to adopt IMHO.
Adoption is hard for all involved and it takes a very loving person to do it. I do feel adoption is a better alternative then an unwanted child living in an orphanage it's whole life!
As an adopted person, I would rather end adoption and increase family preservation. We are failing miserably if a family cannot stay together. Love you mom...forever
Being adopted hurts. Being adopted is hard. It is not beautiful; it is brutal, it is tragic, it is a cause for great sadness. For in order for a child to even be available for adoption, that child must first go through some sort of tragedy; whether that be abuse, hunger, homelessness, neglect, or even the simple fact that he or she is losing the life and family he or she was born into. This makes adoption a thing to mourn; not a cause for celebration or joy. To be joyful about adopting a child is to be glad that this tragedy happened. Want To Adopt? Adult Adoptee Support
As another adult adoptee, born to teenaged parents in 1960, I could not disagree with you more.......
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