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It's fairly simple - some of us let what happened to us color the rest of our lives, and some of us (like myself) don't. It also helps to have a support system that SUPPORTS instead of wringing its hands in anguish and saying such BS like the person is "ruined for life," which they are not.
That is the difference between "victim" and "survivor" - the survivors put that sh*t in the rear-view mirror and don't allow it to affect and control the rest of their life.
I've experienced far more strife from the way a certain adult in my life, who I was first intimate with when I was 30 (aka not a child), treated sexual relations with me (he'll cheat on his gf with other women and doesn't even tell the OW that she is in fact an OW) than I ever did from my childhood experiences.
Ever stop to consider your adult struggles are related to being sexually abused?
Did I read that right? The lady who reported it because she found info in their garage as she was cleaning it out. SHE was molested by TWO of them when she was younger? I'm amazed she went anywhere near the place!
me too what was she thinking, or must be very forgiving... think more than their garage needs cleaning..
That's just scary. I can understand the attraction to underage teenage girls because it's partly genetic, but when you start getting into the rape, strangulation stuff.. these people need to be put to death. Anybody with rape fantasies, regardless of age, would be better off out of the genepool so these genes don't spread to the next generation.
Yup, same reason people didn't step into husband-wife disputes back in the day, because #1 "it's between them," and #2 she was considered to be his property anyway.
There's a lot of weird stuff you hear about that happened 50-60+ years ago that really spooks me out when I read about it, because of all the folks trying to portray it as such a bucolic time where everyone behaved, everyone was a virgin until marriage, and life was Skittles and beer. It may have been for some, but certainly not all.
No one is saying, ALL. But to deny post WWII was a good period of time for many in the US is also untrue.
Be assured weird stuff still happens. It always will.
Unfortunately, 'back in the day' it was quite common for inter-family sexual abuse to be swept under the rug. It was never talked about, let alone reported, because it was more important not to bring 'shame' on the family than it was to fix the problem. Not necessarily blaming the child/family victims in this case, but somebody probably had suspicions and did nothing. Had they done so, these brothers may have had their opportunity to offend severely limited over the years. Don't kid yourself, there may be no smoking gun evidence in this case, but you can bet these 3 guys committed many, many molestations over the years. Those crimes and their victims could have been lessened or avoided had society not kept their heads in the sand back then. So much for the 'good old days'.
Not much different than now. You might be surprised how many people don't even understand how badly they have been damaged. Perhaps the greatest of these is the perpetrator. Denial is a powerful and frightening thing.
Education is a good thing but it doesn't, from my perception, seemed to have prevented incest or predation. That has always been with us and always will be unfortunately.
All the burden falls on the victims and society to prevent and to heal and despite education it appears not to be any easier now than it was then. Whether it's more widespread is a matter of conjecture. But it certainly is not uncommon.
Children today are introduced through the media to sexual acts and attitudes that would have been frowned upon fifty years ago. Yet we know that media is one of the methods predators use to groom their little victims. "See? This is what grown-ups do."
I see so much public sexualization of children these days that I have to wonder if it hasn't even been more normalized in our present culture.
Beyond awful. Whenever I read stories like this in the media, that's when I wish there were a real Hell for evil people like this to burn in for an eternity.
It's hard to know what percentage of their innocent victims will mature into predators to deal with their psychological damage. Those little victims you feel sorry for.
It must take quite a refutation of empathy when you decide that they are evil and deserve to burn for eternity.
Just a piece of cognitive dissonance to consider. This is a piece of victimization that never fails to trouble me. Abuse - the gift that keeps on giving and we are more than happy to pile on and contribute.
It's really no wonder we have abuse in our society when so many of us consider ourselves judge and jury. It's moral righteousness and I'm not sure we can work our way through it. Seems like human nature but it also contributes to abusing the previously abused. A puzzle.
Children today are introduced through the media to sexual acts and attitudes that would have been frowned upon fifty years ago. Yet we know that media is one of the methods predators use to groom their little victims. "See? This is what grown-ups do."
I see so much public sexualization of children these days that I have to wonder if it hasn't even been more normalized in our present culture.
Fully agree with this. My parents sure as hell didn't grow up watching singers on TV "twerking" or being one dance move away from a wardrobe malfunction.
It's hard to know what percentage of their innocent victims will mature into predators to deal with their psychological damage. Those little victims you feel sorry for.
It must take quite a refutation of empathy when you decide that they are evil and deserve to burn for eternity.
Just a piece of cognitive dissonance to consider. This is a piece of victimization that never fails to trouble me. Abuse - the gift that keeps on giving and we are more than happy to pile on and contribute.
It's really no wonder we have abuse in our society when so many of us consider ourselves judge and jury. It's moral righteousness and I'm not sure we can work our way through it. Seems like human nature but it also contributes to abusing the previously abused. A puzzle.
Thank you. In dealing with those little victims who have turned into adult monsters, one feels sympathy for their childhood, learns their history, and often comes to the conclusion that they never stood a chance. There was no way to grow up normal. The ones leading a productive life have accomplished something truly amazing IMO.
Everybody wants to say there's no fixing these people and they should burn in hell, but how do we effectively prevent it? All these years humans have been in existence and no one has come up with an answer for that. Just wait until they grow up into monsters, and either ignore them or have the government (us) pay to take care of them.
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