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Authorities are investigating the death of an 11-year-old girl, who her family says was the constant victim of bullying.
Toni Rivers, of Hampton, died Oct. 27, after being rushed to the hospital with a gunshot wound, WTOC reported. The sixth grader had shot herself after she told her friends that she “just couldn’t do this anymore, and was going to home and she was killing herself,” the girl’s aunt, Maria Peterson, told WTOC.
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So reading the entirety of the story, it appears that it was one child who called her fat and said she looked like a man (neither of which is true) and so she told "her friends" that she was going to go home and kill herself.
She has friends, which is interesting. In my world, most chronically bullied kids have no friends at all and that's why they are so very miserable - kids with a few friends usually get through being picked on.
We are so quick to blame bullying for suicides, when in fact, depression is most likely the cause. One bully - who bullies a lot of other kids- isn't a cause for suicide - all the others are still alive who are insulted by this girl.
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Here's a more thorough article with more details. It does sound like it was one girl doing the bullying, and bullying others.
Suicide is such a loss - as a culture, we need to do something to protect our kids from a momentary flash of anger/sadness that causes them to take the huge leap of ending their lives.
Where are the suggestions in this thread that parents should teach their kids not to bully? But, no, it seems that the "blame the victim and their parents" mentality is still thriving.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whocares811
Sorry, but I DO blame the bullies -- BIG time!
Where are the suggestions in this thread that parents should teach their kids not to bully? But, no, it seems that the "blame the victim and their parents" mentality is still thriving.
In this case, whocares, it's A bully. One "little girl" as she's called in the story.
Bullying should be dealt with. But it should not be considered the "cause" of every child's death who kills themselves. What causes a child to kill themselves is lack of the will to live which is SO STRONG in most kids.
Until we look at this clearly - and search with an open mind for the cause of childhood suicide - we won't find answers.
Most people who are unhappy search for a reason "why" they are unhappy, but the fact is, the state of happiness is caused by brain chemicals. We usually like to think that a state of happiness is caused by external factors.
So, we say things like "I'm unhappy because this is a horrible town to live in". "I'm unhappy because I have a really crappy job". "I'm unhappy because this girl at school insults me often".
When in reality, the two can be completely separate. I'm unhappy and I live in a horrible town. I'm unhappy and I have a crappy job.
"I'm unhappy and this awful girl who makes fun of a lot of people keeps making fun of me, too". That's probably the most accurate way to describe her situation.
I was bullied in school and it taught me some hard lessons, such as you are on your own. People would watch as I was attacked, and the onlooking cretins were mortified with fear.
Here is what it did to me: I stopped being afraid and I figured that it was better to die fighting. To this day, I will die fighting, than to submit to any coercion.
If her folks had taught her to think that way, she would still be alive. She should have used a knife on her attackers, in my view, she had the justification to do it.
Any prosecution of her, could have been beaten in court. Does that sound hard, or crazy? If she were my daughter she would still be alive.
In this case, whocares, it's A bully. One "little girl" as she's called in the story.
Bullying should be dealt with. But it should not be considered the "cause" of every child's death who kills themselves. What causes a child to kill themselves is lack of the will to live which is SO STRONG in most kids.
Until we look at this clearly - and search with an open mind for the cause of childhood suicide - we won't find answers.
Most people who are unhappy search for a reason "why" they are unhappy, but the fact is, the state of happiness is caused by brain chemicals. We usually like to think that a state of happiness is caused by external factors.
So, we say things like "I'm unhappy because this is a horrible town to live in". "I'm unhappy because I have a really crappy job". "I'm unhappy because this girl at school insults me often".
When in reality, the two can be completely separate. I'm unhappy and I live in a horrible town. I'm unhappy and I have a crappy job.
"I'm unhappy and this awful girl who makes fun of a lot of people keeps making fun of me, too". That's probably the most accurate way to describe her situation.
What you said is true, but I STILL blame the bullies, singular or plural. Bullying is simply wrong, imo, PERIOD. Making excuses for it, or making light of it, when it even might have been a contributing causes for any reason is wrong, too, imo.
Bullying won't end no matter who calls for it. Schools can certainly minimize it though but if suicide is the response to someone being a jerk to you there are deeper issues at play.
My husband works for a very large global company and last week 2 of his co-workers had kids who killed themselves! Two totally unrelated incidents and the 2 kids did not know each other. One was a 14 yr old boy and the other a 16 yr old girl. Both left notes that it was due to bullying.
It’s very sad that these kids felt like there was no one they could turn to. I have two younger daughters and constantly let them know that if they are bullied they can come to us. Parents need to reinforce this to their children!
Bullying won't end no matter who calls for it. Schools can certainly minimize it though but if suicide is the response to someone being a jerk to you there are deeper issues at play.
There are deeper issues at play regarding the bullies. Not the victim.
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