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Old 11-11-2017, 01:14 PM
 
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 674,268 times
Reputation: 1525

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Just to make it clear, I think it's absolutely horrible and devastating how people sexually abuse children, teenagers or other adults when they did NOT ask to be sexually harassed, fondled, molested or even propositioned.

That being said, with regard to the recent outpouring of accusations against Harvey Weinstein, a LOT (and I mean like A LOT) of other women and men have come forward with their accusations against other hollywood celebrities. I realize that sometimes it takes one brave person to come forward that encourages others to come forward who were scared to do so before (especially if they were a teen or a child at the time).

Richard Dreyfuss Accused Of Sexual Harassment

But...I'm growing just a little bit suspicious of all these other accusations that are exploding into the spotlight. I mean, a lot of these accusations aren't even full blown sexual molestation/oral sex/rape cases...a lot of these accusations are just situations in which a celebrity propositioned, flirted or insinuated sexual innuendo with them - and in those cases, these types of accusations - whether they are ever proven true or false - are ruining people's careers and reputations.

I am absolutely NOT defending these celebrities who have been accused, just to make that abundantly clear! What I'm saying is, has anyone else here ever had a thought that maybe...some of these accusations being made are blown out of proportion so that the accusers can either get back into the spotlight or so they can win a monetary settlement against the person (or people) they're accusing?

Why didn't this insanely huge amount of outpouring of sexual abuse and molestation happen last year? Or the year before?! I mean seriously though....just in the past couple of months, there have been sooo many accusations from actors and actresses against some of the most high profile and successful men in hollywood...

My opinion is, if a male actor molested an actor or actress, fondled them, sexually propositioned them, forced them to have oral sex or outright raped them when the victim was an adult and it happened years ago or decades ago - why did they wait until *NOW* to make their accusations?!?

If it was really that traumatic of an experience and it negatively affected their life that much - why wait years and YEARS to come forward with it??? What makes these accusers think that they're 'safer' coming out with these accusations NOW as opposed to doing it YEARS AGO when it was relevant and recent?

Idk....I'm just wondering if some or a few of these 'accusations' are unjustified and have only been brought forward now with the intentions of wanting to draw attention to themselves or for the purposes of wanting to ruin the actor's rep and career to 'get back at them' for an indiscretion that happened decades ago?

Geez, I've experienced a lot of disrespectful and downright disgusting inappropriate behaviour from guys throughout my entire life...and I can't imagine having gone to the media outlets with my accusations against them or suing every one of them or even ONE of them for sexual harassment - especially if it happened YEARS or DECADES ago! If it was that traumatic for me (which, some of it was, but I distanced myself from them and moved on with my life and got over it), I would've accused them or brought it to the police right after it happened. I sure as hell wouldn't wait years and years to tell the police or anyone what those guys did to me!

In the case of this happening to a child or a teenager, everything I said just went out the window because as children, predators and pedophiles can intimidate and threaten kids NOT to tell, 'or else'. BUT, what I'm talking about is sexual harassment or more serious sexual abuse happening to someone when they're AN ADULT. In THAT case, they should've came forward with their accusations AS SOON AS IT HAPPENED! Waiting years and years to come out with it is um, suspect; especially when you wait until someone ELSE comes forward with their accusation BEFORE you come forward with yours.

I'd like to hear (read) other people's thoughts on this!

 
Old 11-11-2017, 01:24 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,480,623 times
Reputation: 31230
I get you. I had the same thoughts when I read about Dreyfuss. An accusation is not enough to convince me. Show me the proof. If there isn't any, it didn't happen. If there's no proof because it happened decades ago, then it still didn't happen. What is expected of me if there's no proof?

The only difference would be if dozens of women jumped into the fray (or men) and started saying the same thing about Dreyfuss (or anyone else). I'm more inclined to listen to many voices rather than one who could easily lie for attention.
 
Old 11-11-2017, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia/South Jersey area
3,677 posts, read 2,564,097 times
Reputation: 12467
I hate when things like this happen. unfortunately I've become jaded. It seems like every day now someone else is accusing a new person of something.

Now unfortunately it's becoming like background noise to me.

I hope that if anything, something good comes out of this and women stop waiting years/decades before reporting abuses.
 
Old 11-11-2017, 01:36 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,874,163 times
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TBH, I would be surprised if most women don't recall (a)situation(s) where they have been raped or date raped, or molested. It's not hyperbole, we just don't talk about it, but don't ask each other about it either. Our own situation is foremost in our minds, so we don't assume other people haven't been through the same thing. The outpouring of revealing stories just confirms to me that: "yeah it happens to most people, some of us aren't celebrities." This may be why it isn't shocking, and starts to feel like background noise. Its not so unique.

Why didn't these people in particular come out publicly and say something before? The same reason other people don't. There's a history of blaming the victim, "Who cares?" attitude, "prove it" (who wants to prove that?) and now you're a pariah or damaged. Hardly much benefit to talking about it.
IMO

Last edited by RbccL; 11-11-2017 at 01:46 PM..
 
Old 11-11-2017, 01:43 PM
 
12,847 posts, read 870,599 times
Reputation: 3396
Quote:
Originally Posted by AprilFlowers17 View Post

.... snipped ....


Geez, I've experienced a lot of disrespectful and downright disgusting inappropriate behaviour from guys throughout my entire life...and I can't imagine having gone to the media outlets with my accusations against them or suing every one of them or even ONE of them for sexual harassment - especially if it happened YEARS or DECADES ago! If it was that traumatic for me (which, some of it was, but I distanced myself from them and moved on with my life and got over it), I would've accused them or brought it to the police right after it happened. I sure as hell wouldn't wait years and years to tell the police or anyone what those guys did to me!
.....
I also get what you're saying. ^^^ This part I get the most. I can't imagine reporting every guy that grabbed my ass or made inappropriate comments to me when I was a young, good looking woman. Seriously! A person who doesn't like what someone says to them or how it is said should just speak up at the time it is going on. If they feel they are in true danger then call the police or the club manager or the bouncer. But don't think about it for decades and then try to recall what happened. Memories fade... the non-traumatic ones, anyway. My ass being grabbed was never a traumatic incident.

Next in the news: Woman says she can't walk down the street without getting Wolf-calls - filing lawsuit!
 
Old 11-11-2017, 02:00 PM
 
12,847 posts, read 870,599 times
Reputation: 3396
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
I hate when things like this happen. unfortunately I've become jaded. It seems like every day now someone else is accusing a new person of something.

Now unfortunately it's becoming like background noise to me.

I hope that if anything, something good comes out of this and women stop waiting years/decades before reporting abuses.
I agree. I also hope that women (or men) stop taking meetings in the producer's hotel rooms! Come on! Give me a break! They really didn't think this was not right? I ended up opening one of the articles that had 58 accusers of HW and most of these women met him in a hotel room. I swear about 75% of them.... hotel room, hotel room, hotel room... oh, and his house too.
(Sorry, I don't care enough to go back to the article and count just how many dumbasses went to his hotel room.)

Let's not forget that many people (both genders) WILL do whatever it takes to get their "big break". Always have, always will.

I remind myself that these people are paid liars. Yes, actors/actresses are liars and the better they are at convincing us on-screen or on-stage the more they get paid. Liars and Posers!
 
Old 11-11-2017, 02:10 PM
 
Location: 912 feet above sea level
2,264 posts, read 1,486,830 times
Reputation: 12668
Anyone scratching their heads and acting totally befuddled as to why women don't just come out immediately when they're violated? The answer is in this thread. And it's pretty obvious.
 
Old 11-11-2017, 02:49 PM
 
3,187 posts, read 1,511,338 times
Reputation: 3213
I get what you are saying. Every time I refresh my browser there is a new story. LOL

Nonetheless I support it. Now is the time to say something if you have been abused in the past. It doesn't matter when. The point is the bad experience stays with you. I also think these victims want to be part of a movement that creates lasting change in this country.

FYI: It's working IMO and happening everywhere. I hope it continues as I may benefit too. A friend of mine is always guilty of saying "pervy" things. He is basically harmless and won't touch anyone but is very annoying. He is 50 years old and should be above this juvenile BS. I have never confronted him until now, but we had quite a talk since these scandals broke. We went as far as to discuss the psychology behind his need to behave this way, make depraved jokes - that most don't think are funny - and his habit of sharing questionable websites with weird sexual memes, etc., with his coworkers and friends.

What is WRONG with him? Some of his friends too. I don't know, but they are being forced to look in a mirror for the first time and figure it out.
 
Old 11-11-2017, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Sunshine Coast, QLD
3,674 posts, read 3,037,918 times
Reputation: 5466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hulsker 1856 View Post
Anyone scratching their heads and acting totally befuddled as to why women don't just come out immediately when they're violated? The answer is in this thread. And it's pretty obvious.
What would you prefer everyone say?
 
Old 11-11-2017, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Living rent free in your head
42,854 posts, read 26,316,632 times
Reputation: 34063
Quote:
Originally Posted by AprilFlowers17 View Post
Geez, I've experienced a lot of disrespectful and downright disgusting inappropriate behaviour from guys throughout my entire life...and I can't imagine having gone to the media outlets with my accusations against them or suing every one of them or even ONE of them for sexual harassment - especially if it happened YEARS or DECADES ago! If it was that traumatic for me (which, some of it was, but I distanced myself from them and moved on with my life and got over it), I would've accused them or brought it to the police right after it happened. I sure as hell wouldn't wait years and years to tell the police or anyone what those guys did to me!

In the case of this happening to a child or a teenager, everything I said just went out the window because as children, predators and pedophiles can intimidate and threaten kids NOT to tell, 'or else'. BUT, what I'm talking about is sexual harassment or more serious sexual abuse happening to someone when they're AN ADULT. In THAT case, they should've came forward with their accusations AS SOON AS IT HAPPENED! Waiting years and years to come out with it is um, suspect; especially when you wait until someone ELSE comes forward with their accusation BEFORE you come forward with yours.

I'd like to hear (read) other people's thoughts on this!
Yeah just come right out and report it, unless it's your boss and you are raising two kids alone. I had some pretty gross incidents of sexual harassment at work and I never reported them because the perpetrators were two of my supervisors and it would have been my word against theirs. They would have simply denied it and found a way to fire me and that just couldn't happen because I was living paycheck to paycheck.

It happened to me when I was 12 with my brother's 19 year old best friend, I never told my brother, my parents or anyone else because I was so ashamed and felt that it must have been my fault

Look at what is happening to the four women who came out and talked about Roy Moore's behavior, they are being called liars and every attempt is made to denigrate them.
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