Saturday's "feeling it this morning" exercise thread" (sore, muscles)
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I am feeling that "body pump" class this morning. My quads are not real happy with me today, neither are my shoulders
Kind of reminds me of the time I went horseback riding.
lol I think everything hurts I guess I found muscles that I haven't worked in awhile. So I guess I "woke" them up
Today is take the mulch to my mother in laws oh the joy tee hee I told hubby we need to go early before it gets to hot yesterday the heat index was over 100.
I think I may need to go over to the gym and pay a personal visit to the whirlpool and sauna.
I am so glad to have this thread knowing we have all gone through this phase when first starting major workouts helps.
I am steaming mad right now and having a hard time falling asleep and here you are starting Saturday's exercise thread!!
I don't want to get into it but let's just say it involves in-laws - namely a drug addict in the family that I do not welcome into our home and DH is fuming mad with me that I have issues with having an ACTIVE drug addict in my house, even if it's just for vacation. I am p*ssed that he can be so obtuse about this. Who the hell wants to have that kind of drama in her house?!
I have been up nearly 24 hours. The worst day of my life, besides losing my parents.
I was planning on getting up this morning and going to maryland with the kids. Plans change. We all know that. J was talking to his sister about going somewhere and he said well, I will have the kids, and I overheard, and said no you wont, they will be w me in Maryland.
He said you are not taking them to Maryland. Says my car is not in good enough shape. Keeps saying no I am not, I keep saying yes I am, then finally ask if he is forbidding me, he says yes.
After that, I am done arguing. I ask lindsay is she want to go for a walk, She does. We went. I called my sister and told her what went on, she said if there was anything wrong with the car she would pay to get it fixed di I want her to talk to J..I thought this was the most upsetting part of my evening. Not by far.
I got home w Lindssay and he was draggin Alexander out the door with 2 bags of clothes telling Lindsay to come on, they are going to his sisters house. I say no you are not. The kids stay in the house. We are back and forth. I tell the kids to go in the living room. J drags Alexander, he resists him, I tell him to get off of him, he doesn't want to go, he yells at them to come on, we are leaving, I scream NO!
I called the police. My phone kept breaking up. I felt like I was losing my kids. They made their way to the LR. I found the home phone and called 911 again, they asked if there where any weapons involved, I was steadily saying no you aren't taking them, the dispatch on the phone the whole time, he was arguing back, yelling at the kids, the kids crying, so scared. The police got there.
Oh Lord Jesus. He was still trying to drag them out the door. They asked him to step out side....god i am shaking so bad right now. I told them the whole story, they said what about before today...so I told him how he belittled us...for about ten years, and so forth, then they brought him in, and he told them my car wasn't fit to drive, and I said look at his truck... my car is 7 years old, his is 23. there was no physical dipute, there was nothing they could do, but if they were called back, one of us, the aggressor was going to jail.
Just as soon as they left he tried to take them again. he kept telling me to get out of his way, I kept blockingg his path. He said I am a 350 lb man and I am trying to stay calm right now Robyn. MOVE. NO i say NO YOU ARE NOT TAKING MY KIDS.. he kept trying though... He had called his sister when the police where inside talking to me, I didn't know it, but they where on their way over here. That means his siter, mother and BIL. He kept trying to take the kids and I kept fighting him.
I dont know why he stopped finally...oh, his cell phone rang. I told Lindsay to get int he shower and Alexander to get his pjs on. I was going to have them sleep in my bed with me, to keep them close so he couldn't take them. I put Shrek in the DVD, and he came in there and got us all.
We had to come out into the living room and he explained how I was trying to cause them harm and he didn't want that, etc. He said that I wanted him to go to jail, and I didn't, and I tried to say that, but he said you dont talk, I don't wan t to hear anything from you. When he was trying to take them earlier in the night, he told them I was crazy and on drugs, not in my right mind.
His phone rang again, and he said ok, all of a sudden, his mother, sister and BIL were here. I was like oh Hell no. I had 4 people to contend w now. Thye all came in. Bil cornered me in the hallway and was trying to get me to promise not to take the kids to MD. He said just let us take them to our house w J. I said no.. you guys are not coming into my house and ganing up on me and taking my kids. This went on for what seemed an eternity. I pulled him further into the hallway. I told him all about J, all about everything he has done, and that I could not take it anymore. I said I dont need to promise anyone that I am not taking MY kids somewhere.
Once again my car comes up..WTH! We talked and talked, then MIL comes around the corner and hugs me......hmm, I thought that was ok, then she starts saying these are my grandchildren and you cant just go taking them to Maryland like that and blahblahblah. I was getting very mad, I told her she was no one to tell me what I could or could not do with my kids. I looked at BIL and he knew exactly what I meant. She kept on at me.
Heres the story with that. She allowed her daughter to be molested for years by one of her dh and did nothing. Now, I am going to let her tell me what I can do w my kids...I dont think so. BIL knew...that is his wife. I was getting so mad, I was going to explode and she wouldn't shut up. I opened my daughters door and slammed my hand into the door jam about 5x. She still wouldn't stop. I pushed her aside and ran out the door in my pajamas down the street.
I felt woosy. I got a few houses down, in the complete darkness and leaned up against a pole. I was hyperventilating. i couldn't stop. BIL found me. he tryed to calm me down and get my breathing regular. We talked and talked and came to an agreement. They would take the kids to their house, and neither J nor myself would have access to them this weekend and there would be no down talk about me going on.
We continue talking, I was so upset. He says you can talk to me, I say no I can't you are her husband, you are with them. He said I am not taking sides. I have been through a divorce before. I dont know exactly how you feel, but maybe some of it. I told him I felt alone. My family is all up in Maryland, I have no one, He says you have me, I say no I dont. Talking for a long time.
Police drive up to the house...shininig lights around. go up to mu house, then spot us. Come to me and ask if I am ok, did I hit my head, did I try to hurt myself, do I feel like I could cause myself bodily harm...no no no. BIL says I hit my hand on the wall not my head. Cop stood there looking at me for a minute and left.
Then J and MIL left a few mins after the 2 police cars. I say where are they going? Probably just for a ride. So, a plan has been made. BIL says he will talk to each individual person, and if they cannot agree, he will wash his hands of it and that is it. OK. So I go to the house...1230 am.
His siter apologizes for how she talked to me on the phone earlier...she was really rotten. She said how did you get like this so all of a sudden, you guys were happy...I say this was not all of a sudden, its ten years strong. On and on and on. Finally J and MIL get back, get the kids all ready and they and SIL leave. I say to J....who is outside? No one. I say no, I hear someone... I saw BIL out there. I thought nothing of it. I really didn't know how many vehicles they came in.
So, J and I went to the LR and he says what happens now, and I started telling him how I thought it was wrong, what he did, and I dont know what happens, but I cant live like this anymore. I am just talking, oblivious to anything but the 2 of us and a police officer says to me...do you want to put some different shoes on?
OK...there is a cop in my house. I said for what. He says i am serving you with these papers. What papers? Your family thinks your behavior is unstable and they have gone to the Magistrate and I will talk to you about it when we get out side.
I say can I get dressed? Yes. So I got some jeans and a t shirt, socks and shoes and slipped my cell phone in my pocket and came out of the room. he was ready to roll. I said wait a minute. I have rights here. If you are serving me with papers, who started up the papers? Your family he says.... who in my family I say. MIL. OIC... YEP.. He took my arm. I asked if I could get my glasses. he said yes, I put them on and we went outside.
he said I am going to escort you to a mental facility where you will be examined and found out whether or not you need to be hospitalized. Your family states you have been exibiting bizarre behavior.
He opened the back of the police car and put me in. No cuffs. MIL, BIL, and dh all went too. I said all of them are going too, will they be in there with me>? he said the person who filed the complaint has to go in and tell their side. MIL.
So we got there. We had to wait for the counselor to get there. It took a long time. he asked me how I got where I was and I told him j and my history. I told him I wasn't crazy and I didn't deserve to be sitting i the back of a cop car. He said it wasn't his fault. when someone files a complaint he has to comply, but he agreed, that when he saw me earlier he thought I was fine.
We talked forever until the counselor got there. He unlocked the back of the care and I got out. He escorted me into a small room. MIL talked to the lasy first. I fell asleep waiting. She finally came in and woke me.
Told me that Mil was concerned over some of my recent bizarre behaviors and thought I was psychotic. I said what are my behaviors.
Waking in the night, exercising, writing in a journal, losing weight. OMG.
I wake in the night because I cant sleep! I exercise because now I feel good! I have lost weight because I am exercising! Iwrite in a journal because it is good therapy...just like this...I told her I post too... I asked her if any of those behaviors were bizarre. She said no.
I told her of how a little over a month ago, I recieved a message, how my physical pain ended, and my emotional pain shone through... how I became strong, strong enough to talk to dh about how I felt. I talked to her about losing my parents. I told her everything. I told her why I got so mad about MIL trying to tell me what to do w my kids...
Before I went into that room and she said first I well talk to her and then you, I said will you then talk to us together? She said yes if thats what you want. Oh thats what I wanted.
Well, she found me to be sane. She thought I was under stress, and that I was at the end of the road. Yes I know this. She saif MILs can be a pain in the A$$. They should not meddle. She gave me a hug. My insurance will be billed for this.
We left the room and went to the other big area. The cop said looks like we are all done? I said oh no we are not. We need to talk to her now. He said, well, in me taking you here, it is my duty to bring you home, if you dont leave now you will have to ride w her. fine I said..have a nice day. Officer Erie.
I asked the counselor to go over my bizarre behaviors w MIL and explain what they all mean to her, and she did, and told her that they weren't bizarre at all, but an eye opening exp, a life changing experience for me. I was calm. I said now, I want to tell you why I got so upset with you... No, she says, now is not the time for that. LOL... She knew why I was upset. Every time I wanted to say something she wouldn't let me.
The lady looked at me and said just stay calm....I am calm, I said. MIL says to me, I don't want you to have any regrets. We need to get home and get rest and we can talk later. OMGOMGOMG
She is crazy. She has me wisked off, in a police car, for possible institution...
Bil and J were utside in seperate vehicles to pick us up. i rode in my car w BIL. He said he had no idea. I believed him, because he was outside w me the whole time, and he said he talked to J. J didn't know that in doing this, that is what would happen.
This is it. I am calling my boss tomorrow and taking off work monday and filing for seperation and something having to do w custody, I dont know.
And I thought him ripping up the anniversary card was the straw that broke the camels back. I think this did it.... would you agree?
foma
I am with you on this one. Maybe you could explain to DH that god forbid the guest is caught with drugs in your house you could lose everything. Not to mention the cops take everyone and ask questions later. My sister use to have a problem with one of her sister in laws, every time she would come over my sister would have to spend time hiding everything, she would tell me "hide your purse in the washer "so and so is coming over"
It's just not worth it.
I am sorry your having a rough morning sending you lots of hugs
karla
robyn
we were posting at the same time.
I think this was the wake up call you needed. This is not a healthy situation you and your children are in. Before you end up with kids that will need years of therapy you need to get them out of that toxic situation. I have read your other post and it does sound as if your husband is exhibiting signs of Bi-polar I have a family member who was just diagnosed and had some of the same behaviors. You can not change him and your putting your own health at risk. the only losers are going to be the children.
sending you strength to put you and your kids first..
Thanks Karla. I'm ok now. This crap always blows over. It amazes me how men can just shrug everything off and go to sleep! The addict is his sister so it makes things a little more complicated. He doesn't think she's smart enough to pull anything, espcially since she would never be alone but I'm still uncomfortable with the situation (yes, she is a known klepto).
What I'm really livid about is the fact that he throws punches below the belt. He accused me of treating his fam different than my fam when it comes to "welcoming them" into our home. That's total BS. Of course I'm going to treat my fam different than his but I have always welcomed them and treated them with the utmost respect. (I'm Chinese - we ALWAYS respect our elders!)
Anyway, I'm over it. He's just a big baby and I know where he's coming from even if he doesn't understand my POV. Once again, I'll make it all better in the morning I'm sure! My probs pales in comparison to Robyn's. You have had quite a night lady. You're children are who you need to protect first. It sounds like you did the right thing.
Stay focused and stay strong through it all. Your kids need you now more than ever.
As for druggies ... not in my home. Totally agree. Stick to your guns girl.
Another beautiful day in the neighborhood. My walk happens a little later in the day. I'm heading up to the National Canoe Challenge to take some photos. Keeping my fingers crossed that I keep my camera dry!
Just back from a nice cool walk with Cassy! Temps must have dropped since 10pm last night, when I was out then it was still humid. This is our "cold front" they have been predicting all week, highs in the upper 80's, blissful!
Robyn, Hang in there honey! Men like to think that women have lost their mind, when actually we have begun to think of what life could be without them. My ex tried to tell everyone I was having an affair when I served him with divorce papers, not, just "saw the light". Get some sleep, mind is not clear without proper rest. God be with you.
robyn...I agree with tet tea, stay focused, your kids come first..have a plan.
my prayers are with you
foma...good luck..having a drug addict in the family is difficult..just hide any valubles!!
Karla...I like the body pump class, but you are right it leaves me really sore the next day...
everyone have a great sat. my sister from AZ. is coming in today for a 2 week visit..I can't wait!!
Robyn, Im so sorry to hear all of this is happening to you. As of a few months ago my husband has been sayig Im going crazy to, I think its a defense mechanism that is used when they see that things are not going there way. You and your children are in my prayers, stay strong and keep the faith.
Foma, good luck with the SIL thing. It is very hard when heart strings tug especially when a family member is an addict. Your husband probably just wants to help her but doesnt know he cant. She has to want to help herself.
Ok going on my walk with Casper and then hitting Penney's to get something for the boys. They have a huge sale going on today.
Also have a 2pm MRI for my wrist to confirn torn ligaments. I hate MRI's I totally freak out with them.
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You have had quite a night lady. You're children are who you need to protect first. It sounds like you did the right thing.
