Is Hockaday having trouble recruiting this year? (Dallas, Fort Worth: neighborhood, middle school)

[Bypass13]

Well, we have three children, student loans, mortgage, property tax, income tax and parents who weren't very money savvy. I just want to get children out of college without any debts, pay off my loans & mortgage and save enough for a decent retirement. I value education as any of the privates out there but I just can't stretch our 300k enough to send three of them to Hockaday or alike. I see many people around me in same boat. There must be plenty of people who can afford or go under debt to afford private but doesn't make sense for everybody. There are lot of people out there who mortgage and lease more than they can afford so off course there must be more people who think they can do private schooling too but when house of cards fall then its not a pretty picture. I understand the value of prestige and connections but mine will have to carve their own path.

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by Bypass13

Well, we have three children, student loans, mortgage, property tax, income tax and parents who weren't very money savvy. I just want to get children out of college without any debts, pay off my loans & mortgage and save enough for a decent retirement. I value education as any of the privates out there but I just can't stretch our 300k enough to send three of them to Hockaday or alike. I see many people around me in same boat. There must be plenty of people who can afford or go under debt to afford private but doesn't make sense for everybody. There are lot of people out there who mortgage and lease more than they can afford so off course there must be more people who think they can do private schooling too but when house of cards fall then its not a pretty picture. I understand the value of prestige and connections but mine will have to carve their own path.

No one here is trying to talk you into private school. No one here is saying private school is a "must" or for everyone. Your kids are in excellent schools; some of the top 3-5 high schools in the whole metroplex. Plano provides an outstanding education. I don't understand what you're internalizing this thread so much.

I was NOT insinuating that you are a bad parent for not squeezing 3 private school tuitions out of a $300k hh income; just pointing out that for families who want private schools, they would find a way to sacrifice something else to make it happen. Not put themselves in a financial "house of cards" as you keep saying, just cut something that you may not want to. Different choices for different families.

[Bypass13]

You are right. I guess too much family drama during Christmas and my own guilt for not being able to give children a 'perfect life' is making me feel that everyone is out there judging me while in fact I'm the one busy judging others.

[BigDGeek]

Originally Posted by Bypass13

You are right. I guess too much family drama during Christmas and my own guilt for not being able to give children a 'perfect life' is making me feel that everyone is out there judging me while in fact I'm the one busy judging others.

Anyone who judges you for not sending your children to an expensive private school is someone you don't need to spend a lot of time with, if any at all. Ignore them.

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by Bypass13

You are right. I guess too much family drama during Christmas and my own guilt for not being able to give children a 'perfect life' is making me feel that everyone is out there judging me while in fact I'm the one busy judging others.

There is no such thing as a "perfect life". True story: I grew up with a girl whose family is absolutely loaded, HP-style. Huge mansion, perfect wardrobe, brand new sports car at 16, super popular, always had a boyfriend, got into the best sorority at her school, fell in love & had a perfect proposal in Paris. Her younger sister was the same way. Very easy to be jealous of a "perfect" family like that - and at times while growing up, I sure was!! Flash forward 15 years and the younger sister's husband was tragically killed in a small plane crash a few weeks ago, just shy of their 5th wedding anniversary. This precious girl is a 29 year old widow with 2 boys under the age of 2. Even parents who try to buy & provide "perfect" lives for their children can't prevent life itself from happening. All the money and "stuff" in the world can't bring the love of her life back.

I am not a parent yet, but I think the very best things parents can do for their children is to make sure they experience BOTH failure and success (ie, don't shield them from making mistakes, best to learn how to react and respond while under the moral/ emotional guidance of mom & dad vs as a 22 year old at his first job), instill a love of learning (not just academics, but a love of reading / curiosity, arts, cooking....pursue whatever interests they show). and teach them to be kind to everyone (even if no one else is being kind to a particular person). These three things will prepare your kids to be contributing / functioning/ emotionally healthy/ successful human beings more than any "picture perfect" life/ stuff will.

[Big G]

Eh, I have my kid in PISD, and I have zero regrets about not taking the private school route. (Now, a lot of that is because the rigor of PISD's curriculum, IMO, meets or beats all but 3 private schools in town.)

[Bypass13]

Thank you for your kind advice at an unkind time. Why do people post threads about rudeness of Texans? :-)

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

TC, that is a perfect answer! If I could rep you again, I would.

[HockDad]

[quote=TurtleCreek80;27500562]No, you're not understanding. Applications are UP at the elite private schools in Dallas, as well as UP at most all private colleges & universities. UP. WAY UP from where they were 10 years ago.

A family with hh income of $300k should have NO financial problems sending 2 kids to Hockaday IF that's what their priority is. It may mean living in a $300k home in NW Dallas near Hockaday vs living in a $1M house in Park Cities or $600k house in W Plano or Preston Hollow. It may mean only taking 1 family vacation vs multiple trips. It may mean not sending the kids to Camp Longhorn or Mystic (that alone saves about 40% towards 1 kid's annual tuition). Again, private school isn't for every family. The vast majority of kids are just fine in public schools. But some families REALLY want that private school experience - for class size, for family tradition, for religious education reasons, for access to certain facilities and programs, etc.

The families who really want the experience and get admitted will cut other corners in the budget to make it happen financially.

I think that TurtleCreek hit on the head. My family drops a small fortune on private school tuition. As a result, my wife and I driver older cars, we don't have a lakehouse or second home, and the country club membership will probably never happen. But, we think it is the best money that we spend. My parents think that we are nuts. They think we should move to the Park Cities, Plano, or Southlake and save 75k per year. For us, that is not the right decision. But each to their own.

I will say that there are numerous families like us. Professionals, that make a good living, that are giving up creature comforts for the benefit of the kids. Is it the right decision? Would Jennifer and Alison be better off if I just put that money in a trust? Who knows. You just make the call and hope it works out in the long run.

[biafra4life]

First off happy holidays to everyone on the Dallas boards.
Secondly in regards to private school. I attended private school as a kid (not in the US), and I can attest to extremely rigorous preparation for college and beyond. Yet I wonder if it was necesary. I now live in Wylie. Wylie ISD isnt the greatest. Not DISD bad but certainly far below the HPISD and PISD. But I've met several parents whose kids graduated from Wylie and got into really good schools (Duke, Rice, USC). Their strategy? They supplemented what the school district offered by hiring tutors, weekend schools, etc. This enabled their kids to be educated at a high level, comparable to the private school kids, but without the hefty private school fees. This is probably the path I'm going to take, and something for other parents who are considering the private vs public question to consider.