From Burbs to HP or Private Prep? (Dallas, Plano: fit in, 2015)

[BurbMomof1]

My son (7th grade) and I currently live in Allen and while it has been great in some aspects, I refuse to let him go to high school with 5500 students, and I'm not impressed with the academics or the attitude of the majority of the kids up here. It's the "we are new money but we still don't have as much money as Lovejoy kids but our football stadium makes us cooler than you" type of stuff. Plus, we are just sick of the burbs.

Anyway, we are thinking of applying for Jesuit and Greenhill and St Marks.... but I am also seriously considering HP. I've found some affordable condos and even smaller houses that would work and hell, if I'm saving in tuition I might as well put it into those lovely property taxes, right? I've read some of the forums and have learned a lot but wanted opinions specifically pertaining to our situation. Here are my primary concerns.....

1. My son is on "the spectrum"- Think high functioning Asperger's with some sensory issues. He is social and is involved in sports (obsessed with football and actually is good) however; he would prefer to sit down and discuss the current economic state of the US and strengthening our border at lunch instead of participating in typical 7th grade gossip and vulgar jokes. This makes me lean toward private school because he will be challenged and with likeminded kids that take academics seriously. Plus, take the girls out of the equation at Jesuit and St Marks and drama is eliminated, right ;-) However; I am concerned that if he isn't in public school, and if his social differences cause any issue it would be considered a behavioral problem and not tolerated at a private school. He doesn't get in trouble at school but if teachers/administrators don't understand that he is very literal they could assume he is being a jerk.

2. I am a single working mom. 100% custody and his "father" is no longer in the picture. I feel there has been a huge stigma attached to that in Allen for some reason. I have tried to be involved in the community, I go to every football game and even the 6am practices and try to organize get togethers for the boys....but the moms are $&%!@$. It isn't just me either, I've seen these vipers do it to other younger single moms too. I am social and would like to meet other moms in which we share common interests, however; that doesn't include exchanging Pinterest ideas over lunch or joining their Nerium multi level marketing team, and that seems to be all there is up here. I would think this would be better in HP or private because the women I've seen are gorgeous, educated and confident and probably aren't miserable from being stuck in the burbs. But nonetheless, I am still concerned at how welcoming a small community of families are of the single cat lady. Just kidding, I hate cats.

3. College. Back to the Asperger's....he is a planner so he is already worried about his SAT and wants to make sure that he is prepared for college and law school or med school. I just want him to get a scholarship Academically he does great, he is good at football so that might be option, he is in choir and has a great voice and could do select choir if he wants and he is interested in debate too.... so I want the best option of extracurricular activities and clubs to expose him to different things.
I've read so many mixed reviews on how much better prepared kids are coming out of private vs HP so I am hoping someone replies that just tells me what I need to hear to help make that decision. I know he will do great either way because he is very smart and determined, I am more worried about how prepared he will be for SAT and for the curriculum in college and if it makes sense to spend that much more $ for prep or if he can get that out of HP.

So, there are my 99 first world problems. Thanks in advance for your replies!!!! And Go Cowboys....oh..wait

[Big G]

I don't have any specific advice, I just wanted to say:

Best first post ever!

[WorldKlas]

I have been a single mom, too, and stuck it out in the burbs. Mistake. If your son can possibly get into a top private and its affordable for you I recommend you do that. Seek admission before you move! I believe you better get moving, since the 2015-16 school term admission application window is likely closing soon for many schools.

[bencronin04]

If he loves football, HP and Jesuit are going to be your best bets. St. Marks is not going to be a really great fit in that regard. You also need to realize that getting admitted to St. Marks, especially from a school like Allen, is going to be EXTREMELY challenging. St. Marks will give the highest level of education, it may just be a bit out of reach. HP and Jesuit are pretty close academically from what I've seen with both schools students receiving millions in scholarships both with academics and sports. The other plus to publics is your son having multiple friends all within 15 minutes. That won't be the case at most privates. I'm a HP grad and didn't participate in any SAT prep. Just to give you an idea, I was less than 200 points from a perfect score on my SAT (back when it was only 1600) and scored a 34 on the ACT. Good luck op.

[RonnieinDallas]

Originally Posted by BurbMomof1

1. My son is on "the spectrum"- Think high functioning Asperger's with some sensory issues. He is social and is involved in sports (obsessed with football and actually is good) however; he would prefer to sit down and discuss the current economic state of the US and strengthening our border at lunch instead of participating in typical 7th grade gossip and vulgar jokes.

Smart kid
So, there are my 99 first world problems. Thanks in advance for your replies!!!! And Go Cowboys....oh..wait

Lol wish you luck, that's all I have

Originally Posted by Big G

I don't have any specific advice, I just wanted to say:

Best first post ever!

I second that

[TurtleCreek80]

It sounds like privates would be a better environment than HP. I would also visit The Shelton School due to his Asperger's. I am a HP grad and it is really darn hard to come in as a 9th grader because everyone made all of their friend groups in middle school. Very little changes from grade 8-12 as far as friend groups, who is good at this sport, etc. It is smaller than Allen but each grade still has over 500 kids.

Private schools turn over a bit more - my understanding is that in a class of 90 boys at St Mark's, maybe 20-30 are 1-12 "lifers" and quite a few spaces open up for 9th grade. I think the staff at a private school will be much better equipped to interact with your son and understand his Asberger's, and he will benefit from much smaller class sizes than HP (15-ish kids per section vs 20-30 at HP). Yes, athletics are not as good at private schools but I would not make my decision based on football teams if your goal is for him to get an academic scholarship to college. He can be the star of a mediocre football team! And don't assume if you write the tuition check and buy some uniforms, that your financial commitment for the year is complete.

Lastly, money. Think about whether you can afford the tuition and all that comes along with private schools. The schools you mentioned are around $25k per year and rising. Scholarships are RARE and go to the brilliant kid from South Dallas whose parents make $30k per year, not a single working parent making $90k. You don't have to answer this on the forum, just enter the applications process assuming you will not get any financial aid if your income is anywhere near the Allen median.

[HockDad]

I would certainly consider the private schools. You are basically 1.5 years away from admission (he would get serious in the fall of next year for 9th grade admission). That being said I think you should start setting up appointments with admission officers at St. Marks, Greenhill, Shelton and Jesuit. I would try to set appointments in early April (they make admission decisions in mid-March and are pretty darn busy between now and then). At the appointment I would inquire if the school will allow your son to shadow a current student to get a feel for the classes, teachers, size, etc.

I would not move to the park cities for a couple of reasons. First, I think that the park cities is perfect if you fit a certain mold (smart, good looking, athletic, rich, etc.). I think that if you are on the fringe, it might not be the best school for you. Second, the park cities kids have been going to school together forever. There is only one middle school and one high school. Jesuit has 200 new kids in 9th grad, St. Marks and Greenhill only gets 15-20 or so more, but that is still 20% of the class which are new students. Point being, at any of those schools, a decent percentage of the freshman would be new kids. Third, I am not sure the HP Moms are going to be that much nicer than the Allen moms. Yes, they are old money, but they all know each other, been going to the same church, all went to the same summer camps as kids, etc. I am not saying that they would ever intentionally exclude you, but I think it would be a harder social circle to climb. Fourth, class size. The private school kids are going to get more attention. Fifth, and I love HP, but the academic environment is pretty darn good at those private schools referenced.

[Souleiado]

Before you move , I would go and check one school that would fit your son's profile , it's the Great Lakes academy in Plano. It is not as known as Shelton , but it is a small school that goes from k to 12, that has a stellar reputation and has a very small ratio (8 to 10 per class).

[BurbMomof1]

Thank you all so much for the honest and thoughtful replies!!!

My concern with HP was mainly the "circles" have been established and he might have a hard time fitting in so that definitely ranks top in my decision. I fit the mold of good looking rich and athletic but my son, he just wasn't blessed with my looks unfortunately. Ha. Kidding!!! He's a freaking stud actually but I definitley hear what you're saying on the "circles" and that is hard regardless of any social issues!

Jesuit seems like it would be the best considering the football program is competitive and he does want to play and he's decent in Allen so would probably shine there for sure! I've heard Greenhills program is up and coming too.

I have heard about Shelton school but I hate the thought of him going to a school that will cater to his special needs when the real world won't do that. I've pushed him to never use his "disability" as an excuse and not to expect that others will conform for him. I would rather him be in a regular school and just have a good support system of understanding peers and teachers and just know that the majority of the population of the world are all a-holes so we just have to deal with it! Any major differences you've seen out of education/college acceptance/overall attitude of the kids are Jesuit/StMarks or Greenhill?

The tuition is not a problem and I assume that I wouldn't meet financial aid and don't plan to apply . Ed McMahon finally came by my house after all these years!!!!!! Lol. Kidding, but I'm financially stable and have a successful career with a few investments I started that have blessed me with the option of providing him with a better education and still support my shopping habit. Plus my hopes are that I provide him with a prestigious education so that he can afford the BEST retirement home for me one day. Because I am very high maintenance. 

I am going to start setting up tours at the above mentioned schools and see what I can narrow it down to. He will be looking at fall 2016 admission.
Are the majority of the private school kids living in that area? If he's not in HP then I prefer not to pay those taxes but looking at Lakewood/M Streets it seems a little far. What are yalls thoughts on Preston Hollow? I will admit one thing I will miss about the burbs is that he can just run outside
and find friends to play with all day so I can watch Netflix and drink box wine all day. Maybe I can switch to the fancy Boones Farm when we move there? Haha. Thanks again for your replies and hope yall are having a great Saturday!

[TurtleCreek80]

You have a very odd sense of humor. That is all.