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Old 06-01-2014, 09:25 PM
 
57 posts, read 74,220 times
Reputation: 75

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I'm in Richardson too. I can help you pack. Seriously...you're free to leave if you hate it that much.
Working on it. But thanks. I can pack myself.

And to think I was trying to my *nice* and *helpful*. Next time I will know better.
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Old 06-01-2014, 09:36 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,577 posts, read 34,238,838 times
Reputation: 28402
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExAstris View Post
Working on it. But thanks. I can pack myself.

And to think I was trying to my *nice* and *helpful*. Next time I will know better.
Climb down off the cross, honey.

If you're unhappy somewhere, then leave. It sounds harder than it actually is. I speak from experience. But hey, shoot the messenger if it makes you feel better.
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Old 06-01-2014, 09:44 PM
 
57 posts, read 74,220 times
Reputation: 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aceraceae View Post
The sad thing is that he knows it too. He never would have moved to LA on his own, so the only way we could have met is at the Plano dog park, where we did meet. If I had decided to stay in LA or move to Virginia (where I had a different job offer) instead of moving to Dallas, we never would have met.

There are days when if someone asked me what I should have done, I would pick any option that would keep me out of the Metroplex.

Unfortunately my husband is a "native Texan" who has never lived anywhere else but Texas, so no other place could possibly compare to what Texas offers the world.

We're compatible in pretty much every other way, so I suppose we could have both picked other people where the 'Big Issue' was less solvable and the "compatibilities" were less. We both knew what we were getting into when we married; it's not like this conflict was a surprise for either of us.
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Old 06-01-2014, 09:48 PM
 
57 posts, read 74,220 times
Reputation: 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
Climb down off the cross, honey.

If you're unhappy somewhere, then leave. It sounds harder than it actually is. I speak from experience. But hey, shoot the messenger if it makes you feel better.
No cross. I've moved several times through multiple states on my own before. Texas isn't for everyone, and I was trying to be helpful to the OP, which you clearly didn't appreciate.

And like I said, I'm working on getting out of this ick place. I've very clearly determined it's not for me. I don't need your help, snark, or attitude.
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Old 06-01-2014, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Georgia native in McKinney, TX
8,059 posts, read 10,532,477 times
Reputation: 6175
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExAstris View Post
No cross. I've moved several times through multiple states on my own before. Texas isn't for everyone, and I was trying to be helpful to the OP, which you clearly didn't appreciate.

And like I said, I'm working on getting out of this ick place. I've very clearly determined it's not for me. I don't need your help, snark, or attitude.
Nobody, anywhere, no matter how depressing said place my be, likes their hometown to be denigrated by someone from another place. You shouldn't be surprised or offended by such a response. Ick place, seriously? Could the fact that you have met so many unfriendly people be, just perhaps, because you give off an unfriendly vibe in the first place? You claim to be helping the OP, but you have come across as one with a grudge and will find a 90% full glass of water incomplete because of the ten percent missing. Forget the glass half empty metaphor.

I am in Texas because of a divorce situation and the judge in Georgia allowing the ex to bring my 4 kids here with her. For ten years I have been away from my beloved Georgia, away from all my family and my elderly mother. If anyone has a reason to be bitter at this place, I can claim a front row seat. But why be miserable in a situation that you find yourself in? Please (and I hope this is as helpful to you as you want to be to the OP) do your best to bloom where you are planted. Dallas is really not that different from Atlanta when I get down to being honest about the situation. I can pine away at the differences and wish things were not as they are, but what good does that do me but make me more miserable? I really think if you will be honest, you can find much of what is offered in California here in Texas if you choose to look for it. Life is so much better when you choose to change the inner locale. When that happens the physical locale is easier to appreciate. Trust me.
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Old 06-02-2014, 05:30 AM
 
Location: North Texas
24,577 posts, read 34,238,838 times
Reputation: 28402
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExAstris View Post
No cross. I've moved several times through multiple states on my own before. Texas isn't for everyone, and I was trying to be helpful to the OP, which you clearly didn't appreciate.

And like I said, I'm working on getting out of this ick place. I've very clearly determined it's not for me. I don't need your help, snark, or attitude.
Spare me, please. I'm not a big fan of Dallas, never have been. I was born and raised here. I am here because my family is here, and they are aging. They need help sometimes, which is why I'm still here. They were here for me when I was a kid and I'm here for them as they age. Once they are gone, so am I.

While I'm here, I'm trying really hard to make the best of my situation. It's not easy but I do my best. Could I live elsewhere? Sure, if I was willing to fly down here on weekends sometimes. Since I have a severe fear of flying, that would make my life an unholy hell. So I'm kind of stuck here.

Have you talked to your husband about how unhappy you are? Like, really talked to him? Explained to him that your hatred of this place outweighs your love for him and that you're starting to resent him for the situation you find yourself in, and are at least somewhat willing to give up on your marriage in order to get out of here? If you haven't...perhaps you should have that talk with him, maybe in the presence of trained professionals.

Best of luck.
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Old 06-03-2014, 08:36 AM
 
250 posts, read 280,168 times
Reputation: 364
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExAstris View Post
The sad thing is that he knows it too. He never would have moved to LA on his own, so the only way we could have met is at the Plano dog park, where we did meet. If I had decided to stay in LA or move to Virginia (where I had a different job offer) instead of moving to Dallas, we never would have met.

There are days when if someone asked me what I should have done, I would pick any option that would keep me out of the Metroplex.

Unfortunately my husband is a "native Texan" who has never lived anywhere else but Texas, so no other place could possibly compare to what Texas offers the world.

We're compatible in pretty much every other way, so I suppose we could have both picked other people where the 'Big Issue' was less solvable and the "compatibilities" were less. We both knew what we were getting into when we married; it's not like this conflict was a surprise for either of us.
Thanks for opening up about your personal story. Sorry that you feel this way about Texas. I agree Texas isn't for everyone but from what you mentioned it seems like you wouldn't be happy anywhere else but California. I find most of your points to be exact opposite. Once I helped one of my Cali classmate land a full time job here when she could only find a part time in LA. After living here for 1 month, she quit her job, broke her lease and moved back home to her comfort. Yes Texas isn't for everyone but in some cases its just some people can't leave where they grew up where they felt most comfortable.
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Old 06-06-2014, 01:41 PM
 
57 posts, read 74,220 times
Reputation: 75
Hey cool if you don't like LA and want to try Texas. I never said that Texas was wrong for everybody, just that it was not right for me. No need to get offended or take it personally.

An anecdote: someone I know moved here from Corona, CA last year, and while standing in line at the credit union pretty much got told to "go home" by some random stranger in line when he found out she was from California. Up until that point she had a completely positive experience moving to McKinney. But it definitely gave her the impression that Texans aren't nice. Unfortunately that is the typical knee jerk reaction one can expect when they say they are from California to a native Texan.

Point being stereotypes work both ways, and I have unfortunately had more experience with the negative ones in Texas than I do with the positive ones. In relationships, keeping the ratio of bad experiences to good experiences under 1:5 usually mean it's a good relationship. 1:7 is even better. My experience has been something like 3:5.

It doesn't mean that someone else will have my exact same experience. In fact I hope people will have a good experience moving here. But it's not necessarily as rosy as some people make it out to be and that was the point I was trying to make.
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Old 06-06-2014, 03:49 PM
 
12,196 posts, read 23,110,799 times
Reputation: 11182
Moderator cut: orphaned troll post

I think part of the "culture shock" that relocatees encounter is due to the fact they are relocating to the suburbs, which are BY FAR the most conservative part of Dallas. Couple that with the fact that many of the popular suburbs were nothing more than backwards hick small towns until the last 10-20 years when the city spread so far out that the suburban developments engulfed these towns....some of the "old timers" are vey backwards.

Relocatees might find people they like more and have more in common with in some of the diverse and more liberal city neighborhoods....but you can't find a brand new huge house in Lakewood or North Oak Cliff for $250k so these people end up living in Savannah or Little Elm or Allen instead.

Also, there are many relocatees who specifically choose the DFW suburbs because they want to live in a conservative suburb in the Bible Belt vs wherever they're coming from. It's probably confusing for a typical Californian to encounter these relocatees but there are a lot of them & Collin County or Denton County is a great place for them to meet their desired lifestyle.

Last edited by RonnieinDallas; 07-28-2014 at 11:14 PM..
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Old 06-06-2014, 07:18 PM
 
1,789 posts, read 2,085,267 times
Reputation: 1719
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExAstris View Post
Hey cool if you don't like LA and want to try Texas. I never said that Texas was wrong for everybody, just that it was not right for me. No need to get offended or take it personally.

An anecdote: someone I know moved here from Corona, CA last year, and while standing in line at the credit union pretty much got told to "go home" by some random stranger in line when he found out she was from California. Up until that point she had a completely positive experience moving to McKinney. But it definitely gave her the impression that Texans aren't nice. Unfortunately that is the typical knee jerk reaction one can expect when they say they are from California to a native Texan.

Point being stereotypes work both ways, and I have unfortunately had more experience with the negative ones in Texas than I do with the positive ones. In relationships, keeping the ratio of bad experiences to good experiences under 1:5 usually mean it's a good relationship. 1:7 is even better. My experience has been something like 3:5.

It doesn't mean that someone else will have my exact same experience. In fact I hope people will have a good experience moving here. But it's not necessarily as rosy as some people make it out to be and that was the point I was trying to make.
Just like folks from the South get a similar reaction when NE or West Coast people hear where we're from.
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