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Old 06-04-2014, 11:29 AM
 
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A lot of the public schools also have uniforms. Showing off in front of extremely poor kids is very bad form in these situations and would bring shame to the person(s) flaunting - that's another lesson learned for upper income kids going to school with kids who are disadvantaged. In fact, both the affluent and the poor learn from each other.
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Old 06-04-2014, 12:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Lakewooder View Post
A lot of the public schools also have uniforms. Showing off in front of extremely poor kids is very bad form in these situations and would bring shame to the person(s) flaunting - that's another lesson learned for upper income kids going to school with kids who are disadvantaged. In fact, both the affluent and the poor learn from each other.
It is not that kids are "showing off" (although that certainly takes place), but it can also just plain jealousy. If little Suzy can afford to have 10 different Tyler t-shirts (the t-shirt of choice in North Dallas which are not overly expenisve), she might not be showing off by wearing them to school, but little Jennifer might be jealous that her mom buys her t-shirts at Target.

The overriding point I was trying to make is that it is hard when you mix people with different economic backgrounds, but at least uniforms eliminate one of the larger issues that some kids face in school. In an ideal world the kids would not have this issue, and there would be no flauting, jealously, or showing off, but as a Dad of three, I assure that these issues exist.
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Old 06-04-2014, 03:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by theloneranger View Post
Kids don't talk about where they summer or what brand their blazer is, but a kid whose family doesn't have disposable cash is probably going to notice it to some degree when they can't go on the team trip or the spring break to Rome or whatever that many other kids take for granted.
Then it's up to the parents to stress to the kid why they're paying for that private school in the first place. Either the kid can let their station paralyze them or push them to do better.

This part should be up to the parents.
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Old 06-05-2014, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Yankee loves Dallas
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Whatever happened to old-fashioned taste, manners and decorum? Not to mention instilling kids with the proper values (Christian or otherwise...) Like when FDR went to prep school: "Like every boy at Groton, FDR led a Spartan life. He lived in a small cubicle with a standard-issue bed, dresser, and chair; no posters were allowed on the walls. He woke up at 6:45 each morning, took a cold shower in a communal washroom, had a full day of classes, athletics and chapel, and shook the hand of the headmaster and his wife before going to bed at night."

Cold showers - that's what these kids need!

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Originally Posted by rrbcfy View Post
This is very important to understand.

At the top private schools in Texas, parents of children have far more opportunity to flaunt their wealth around their peers. The endowments for many of these schools, and the business that goes along with that at is, well, big business. These schools will have dedicated offices within the schools that do nothing more than to provide opportunities for the wealthy to flaunt their $$ in front of their peers (typically called the "office of advancement") through numerous galas, fundraisers, parties, naming rights etc. They aren't staffed by educators, they are staffed by marketing and event planning types.

If you aren't used to that kind of environment, then get ready to see your children's peers who have front-row named parking spaces that the nannies pull in to, and buildings, courtyards, benches, bricks, and classrooms named after many of the parents and children. For some upper middle-class parents, it will be a jarring experience to see the level of wealth your kiddos peers have. Some families will struggle to enroll siblings in the same school, yet will watch big names in the community waltz all 5 of their children through the admissions process without any effort.

Furthermore, as you progress into the upper school environments of many of these schools, don't for a second think that many of these older children don't flaunt their wealth and sense of entitlement. They are still learning how to integrate themselves in the world, yet many of them expect that a new BMW is a right of passage when getting their drivers license.

I speak from experience because I have two children who attended top private schools in Texas last year and are re-enrolled to start again next year (we did a "hiatus" out of state in the northwest for a year). I've seen it first hand, and even though our household is very wealthy, we choose to not play those games of flaunting wealth - our donations are always marked anonymous and our wealth is subdued as much as possible.
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Old 06-05-2014, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
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When I was a kid, I read a biography of FDR, describing his life at Groton. To this day, the description of the corporal punishment (being shoved in a box and having the headmaster go to town whipping his rear end) meted out there haunts me. So, uh, we probably need LESS of that.
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Old 01-18-2015, 11:31 AM
 
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Great perspective!
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Old 01-19-2015, 10:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TurtleCreek80 View Post
On your first paragraph- the economic spectrum is MUCH larger at private schools. You'll have everything from a kid taking 3 busses a day from south Dallas to get to school to the Jones / Cuban/ Dedman/ Perot kids (literal billionaires). So while it may not be a big deal for little Susie Billionaire to have 2 nannies (not to be confused with the estate manager or her mother's social secretary), summer in East Hamtpon or Carmel (while not on their "real" vacation to Africa), and be able to charge clothes at Neiman's or Korshak by signing her daddy's name (when clothes aren't being dropped off at her house "on approval"), can you imagine the culture shock of the full scholarship kid from south Dallas or the kid from 75229 whose parents are dual professionals and scrape together their tuition payments every month by the skin of their teeth?? Maybe little Susie isn't a brat at all; it's just the world she grew up in and she doesn't know any different. She may truly not be flaunting her wealth but it doesn't mean that seeing her wealth won't have an impact on less affluent classmates. It IS great for the "bootstrap" kids to be exposed to a much bigger world than they come from, but don't underestimate the jealousy and anger, especially during the early teen years.

Now I think at the Catholic schools, there is less wealth than at Hockaday / ESD/ St Mark's and probably less chance of Susie Billionaire being a classmate. There is also teaching (and likely parenting) from a core Christian value that one's worth lies in being created by God and living for Jesus and serving others. When life is rooted in that truth vs materialsm/ keeping up, it's easier to face jealousies and insecurities, or at least have a framework of discussion for battling these feelings. Broad generalization, I know, but again a nuance to Christian-based education vs the more secular schools.

On your second paragraph, I commend you for thinking that way and I wish more educated middle / upper middle class people would have similar thoughts! Yes, it's somewhat risky but your kid is going to turn out great because he/she has involved and educated parents who care. Imagine the impact your family can have on his/her classmates by being involved in the classmates / friends lives as well!

So far as giving alumni are concerned there are three very under the radar ultra-rich families with brothers, sisters, kids and grandkids currently at Jesuit and especially Ursuline. The top two benefactors at UA are much richer than Cuban-Jones-Perot-Ford-Deadman etc. combined.


I think in particular at Jesuit and even more so at UA there are enough kids of very little means that the wealthier kids simply understand to keep things on the QT so much as possible. And if a kid mis-behaves one of the sisters will have a little chat with the offender.
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