2015 Hockaday Admissions Dilema (schools, pool, kindergarten)

[JoeSiczpak]

I pity these poor kids.

[EDS_]

Originally Posted by JoeSiczpak

I pity these poor kids.

Why?

[HockDad]

Originally Posted by JoeSiczpak

I pity these poor kids.

First, I agree it is a tad crazy to test kids to get them into schools when they are so young. Nonetheless, that is the system and I really doubt that you need to pity the kids. However, unless the parents are completely clueless, the kids really don't know what is going on and what is at stake. My three kids just knew that we were going to play dates where they would play some games, draw and do puzzles. We told each of the kids if they worked hard and had fun they could pick lunch. The parents might be fretting in the lobby, but the kids are just having fun. The testers are professionals and certainly no how to make it low stress for the kids (they get better results that way as well).

Second, don't feel bad for kids where parents are willing to sacrifice to make sure that there kids get the best possible education. Reasonable minds might differ on the best schools in the metroplex, but by any objective criteria, St. Marks, Hockaday and Greenhill are on the list. If your kid is accepted, you are making a 300k commitment. For most of the parents attending, that is real money and a real sacrifice. However, in my case, I think it is the best money that we spend every year. I might not get my beach house, but I sleep well knowing that my kids are getting a top notch education.

If you want to feel bad, feel bad for the kids where the parents just don't give a damn.

[nothermom]

Originally Posted by JoeSiczpak

I pity these poor kids.

Why? Would it be any better if it was a lottery, or an auction? All schools have limited spots, they have to try to pick a class out of all interested families somehow. At this age "testing" is just having a conversation with the child. Its hard on the parents but the children are fine. As a parent I would rather have "testing" than depend on chance or the size (or lack thereof) of my wallet.

[alastrian2]

Originally Posted by nothermom

Why? Would it be any better if it was a lottery, or an auction? All schools have limited spots, they have to try to pick a class out of all interested families somehow. At this age "testing" is just having a conversation with the child. Its hard on the parents but the children are fine. As a parent I would rather have "testing" than depend on chance or the size (or lack thereof) of my wallet.

Exactly. Dealy and Harry Stone have the same interview/test admission process and they don't come with the guarantee of a world class education. Those who go through the St. Marks and Hockaday interview/testing process will also never have to endure the BS excessive testing of the public school system.

[BLDSoon]

Originally Posted by JoeSiczpak

I pity these poor kids.

Dear Sir/ Madam,

Please do not feel sorry for our kids. Our children have parents that want the BEST for them. Parents that are willing to jump through quite a few hoops to get them there. But make no mistake it's the parents that do the jumping. Our children, maybe due to their tender ages are oblivious of what's really going on. They see testing as puzzles and observations as play dates.

I think it's a bit much to IQ test 3 and 4 year olds. At that age I honestly believe that it's an indicator nothing really. I'm sure many bright kids do poorly on these tests at this age. But what's the school to do? They have to have SOME way to qualify students especially with so many applicants. They can't take our word that our kids can handle the schoolwork.... Or that they play nice with others, or that we( parents) aren't completely off our rockers.

So they test, and observe, and interview...and we pay $$ for the privilege, obsess, and lose sleep. Because at the end of the day as much as we want the best for our kids, it's sometimes not up to us... It's up to a panel of people that know nothing about us, our kids, or our hopes for those kids.

So dear Internet poster please don't feel bad for our kids, they tend to get the best we can provide.

If you have to pity someone it probably should be those of us old enough to know what's going on. Or better yet those kids who's parents Couldn't. Care. Less. Lots of those to go around.

[HockDad]

Originally Posted by BLDSoon

Dear Sir/ Madam,

Please do not feel sorry for our kids. Our children have parents that want the BEST for them. Parents that are willing to jump through quite a few hoops to get them there. But make no mistake it's the parents that do the jumping. Our children, maybe due to their tender ages are oblivious of what's really going on. They see testing as puzzles and observations as play dates.

I think it's a bit much to IQ test 3 and 4 year olds. At that age I honestly believe that it's an indicator nothing really. I'm sure many bright kids do poorly on these tests at this age. But what's the school to do? They have to have SOME way to qualify students especially with so many applicants. They can't take our word that our kids can handle the schoolwork.... Or that they play nice with others, or that we( parents) aren't completely off our rockers.

So they test, and observe, and interview...and we pay $$ for the privilege, obsess, and lose sleep. Because at the end of the day as much as we want the best for our kids, it's sometimes not up to us... It's up to a panel of people that know nothing about us, our kids, or our hopes for those kids.

So dear Internet poster please don't feel bad for our kids, they tend to get the best we can provide.

If you have to pity someone it probably should be those of us old enough to know what's going on. Or better yet those kids who's parents Couldn't. Care. Less. Lots of those to go around.

This is well said. In my culture we are often accused of having Tiger Moms or Tiger Dads, which, admittedly, is sometimes true. However, the flip side of that argument, are parents that are willing to sacrifice everything to make sure that their kids succeed. It might be going overboard sometimes, but I would rather have a selfless parent than a selfish parent any day of the week. You just have to know where to draw the line. I grew up in California and my parents felt like that there were too many parents at either extreme. They were looking for balance and that is how we ended up in Plano. It worked for me and my siblings. Now we are hoping that private school works for our three kids.

[BLDSoon]

Originally Posted by HockDad

This is well said. In my culture we are often accused of having Tiger Moms or Tiger Dads, which, admittedly, is sometimes true. However, the flip side of that argument, are parents that are willing to sacrifice everything to make sure that their kids succeed. It might be going overboard sometimes, but I would rather have a selfless parent than a selfish parent any day of the week. You just have to know where to draw the line. I grew up in California and my parents felt like that there were too many parents at either extreme. They were looking for balance and that is how we ended up in Plano. It worked for me and my siblings. Now we are hoping that private school works for our three kids.

I hear you, there are too many extremes. I think a lot of it stems from parents trying to force a particular outcome. Sometimes that works, other times it breeds resentful kids or rebels. I want private schools for the opportunities but if my kids end up in public school my expectations of them won't change.

I will do a heck of a lot for my kindergartener, a lot when she gets to 5th grade, something when she's in high school and little by the time she gets to college. The older my child gets the less hand- holding I plan to do. So while I will bend over backwards for her now with time I expect her to carry more of her own weight. So while I will pick a school and apply for her now and maybe in middle school, if she decides on a move in high school she will get minimal help from me, & college will be 95% her responsibility...I'll finance her choice, I'll be an advisor, but she will do all the work.

I firmly believe that moulding your kids end by around age 10. If you haven't got all the work in by then, it's unfortunate. So yeah I will be one of ' those' parents for the next decade or so but by the time that kid is in high I school I expect her to have got it 70% together...at minimum. High expectations? Maybe. But that's the nature of the beast that is me. I give a lot to my kids.... I will expect a lot as well. But they will be who they will be, I will not force a doctor out of an artist. I will give that child every opportunity I can but she will need to forge her own path.

I just pray that said path won't make me cringe.

[brt27]

Getting back on this thread, its March 6th and I am constantly watching my emails.

What time do we expect to receive admission decisions today? Exactly at 3:59 pm? or later?

Thanks!

[MSC31]

I'm right there with you. I swear this has been the longest day.