Moving to Dallas Without Knowing Anyone (Plano, Howe: transplants, apartment, home)

[west_2_east]

Hi,

I was wondering how hard it is to meet people in Dallas, especially as an introvert? Right now, I'm in an east coast city and have never found it so difficult to meet people. I don't know if it's just my work environment or what, but when I'm the one having to break the awkward silence on the 1st day, there's a problem because that's not usually my role. All in all, I find people in the NE to be very rude and unapproachable and this has been the only place I've been where I've had this much difficulty finding a solid social group.

I was wondering if Dallas is relatively laid back and how easy it is to meet people in this city. I have an interview for a job, but I don't want to waste their time and say I'm interested (even though I am for other reasons) if I wouldn't move there. The most important thing for me in terms of happiness is to have a friends circle, so that's why I'm inquiring about Dallas.

Also, and honestly, please feel free to say I'm stupid for asking this, I have one more question. I'm Asian and some people claim that out of all of the mega-Texas cities, Dallas is the most ol' boy/racist of the bunch. To me, this seems stupid because the metro has a fairly sizable Asian/southeast Asian population, but it's something that has stuck in my mind since they said that. Are the concerns of being discriminated against in Dallas a bunch of hysteria? I'm from a liberal state, and in the wrong parts/wrong crowd, I can be called nasty things there too, but if it's pervasive, it is something to think about.

Thanks in advance!

[Kosmonova]

I moved here from a liberal state without knowing anyone. You'll be fine.

[Tamara0914]

Originally Posted by west_2_east

Hi,

I was wondering how hard it is to meet people in Dallas, especially as an introvert? Right now, I'm in an east coast city and have never found it so difficult to meet people. I don't know if it's just my work environment or what, but when I'm the one having to break the awkward silence on the 1st day, there's a problem because that's not usually my role. All in all, I find people in the NE to be very rude and unapproachable and this has been the only place I've been where I've had this much difficulty finding a solid social group.

I was wondering if Dallas is relatively laid back and how easy it is to meet people in this city. I have an interview for a job, but I don't want to waste their time and say I'm interested (even though I am for other reasons) if I wouldn't move there. The most important thing for me in terms of happiness is to have a friends circle, so that's why I'm inquiring about Dallas.

Also, and honestly, please feel free to say I'm stupid for asking this, I have one more question. I'm Asian and some people claim that out of all of the mega-Texas cities, Dallas is the most ol' boy/racist of the bunch. To me, this seems stupid because the metro has a fairly sizable Asian/southeast Asian population, but it's something that has stuck in my mind since they said that. Are the concerns of being discriminated against in Dallas a bunch of hysteria? I'm from a liberal state, and in the wrong parts/wrong crowd, I can be called nasty things there too, but if it's pervasive, it is something to think about.

Thanks in advance!

Ditto to what Kosmonova said. I moved here from the east coast almost a year ago, and lived there my entire life (30 years). People here are very welcoming and you will be absolutely fine. It was very easy to make friends, effortless really, and I am happy with my decision to move here.

I wouldn't worry about being Asian in the metroplex, at all. I'm not Asian, so someone else here might be able to speak to that, but I've not noticed any discrimination. The metroplex is very diverse, you will find all different races here. May I ask where you are moving from that you are discriminated against? I moved from DC, and prior to that lived in Philly.

I think you'll be just fine, keep an open mind and go for it!

[LeavingMA]

A lot easier then the west coast and their are lots of transplants here who are more open and willing to meet people. I'm from New England and I found most New England people have their friends from high school and a lot don't move on from there.

[RJ312]

I moved here without knowing anyone and I've done ok. It happens all the time.

You should put some thought into what you're doing though. You should situate yourself close to others in a similar stage in life as you are. Develop whatever hobbies you already have and maybe find some new ones. Get out of your home.

[veuvegirl]

Personally I have found it very difficult. However I work from home so don't have the opportunity to meet people. It's happening slowly but a tough adjustment.

[plurson]

You are exactly like me. I am also Asian and introverted but I have always wanted to meet locals here in Dallas to hangout with. I have few Asian friends here but I have always wanted to expand my circle to locals or other expats. My Asian friends have different interests as mine so I find it difficult to ask them to come with me in activities I wanted to do (I like going to museums, art exhibits, music festivals, hiking trails, going to bars, or just staying in for netflix, etc.).

I find it difficult to meet people because I work from home; and because of my introversion, and I think I am quite awkward as well.

I am not sure about racism, but I had one experience when I was shopping for a car. The dealer served in a US Army base in my country and knows a few words in my language. I made the impression, that I am not agreeing with the terms he presented to me, and suddenly, he asked me if I know what the meaning of the equivalent of "Mother F****r" in my language is. I am not sure if he was being cynical or trying to build rapport by the fact that he knows my language, but I find it unprofessional and rather distasteful. But surely, racism is not in a state of hysteria here in Dallas, or at least not that I know of. Some will smile at you even.

[Diws]

also bear in mind that Dallas is to a great degree a city full of transplants. I've heard people there joke that no one there is actually 'from Dallas'. There will be a lot of people in the same situation, particularly in the areas where professionals live (young - uptown, lakewood, 30+ marrieds north Suburbs/ northern Midcities, to generalize)

[Cowboys fan in Houston]

Originally Posted by west_2_east

Hi,

I was wondering how hard it is to meet people in Dallas, especially as an introvert? Right now, I'm in an east coast city and have never found it so difficult to meet people. I don't know if it's just my work environment or what, but when I'm the one having to break the awkward silence on the 1st day, there's a problem because that's not usually my role. All in all, I find people in the NE to be very rude and unapproachable and this has been the only place I've been where I've had this much difficulty finding a solid social group.

I was wondering if Dallas is relatively laid back and how easy it is to meet people in this city. I have an interview for a job, but I don't want to waste their time and say I'm interested (even though I am for other reasons) if I wouldn't move there. The most important thing for me in terms of happiness is to have a friends circle, so that's why I'm inquiring about Dallas.

Also, and honestly, please feel free to say I'm stupid for asking this, I have one more question. I'm Asian and some people claim that out of all of the mega-Texas cities, Dallas is the most ol' boy/racist of the bunch. To me, this seems stupid because the metro has a fairly sizable Asian/southeast Asian population, but it's something that has stuck in my mind since they said that. Are the concerns of being discriminated against in Dallas a bunch of hysteria? I'm from a liberal state, and in the wrong parts/wrong crowd, I can be called nasty things there too, but if it's pervasive, it is something to think about.

Thanks in advance!

Im Arab, my wife is from Thailand. Were from California. I can think of a grand total of zero times weve been treated poorly because of that in the 6 years weve been here. I have many friends here who are gay and also have had no trouble. Im a stark raving liberal in a conservative suburb...agan no problems. I live in Plano and have the most diverse and eclectic group of friends Ive ever had. In Plano, of course there is a very large Asian community. The city is almost 20% Asian at and thats roughly 50,000 people in the city.

Does that mean there are no racisit here? Of course not. There are racists everywhere and I cannot tell you that you will not experience racism somewhere. However, I can tell you that it will not be anything regular. It certainly hasnt been for us.

[TheOverdog]

As Dallas is a city without a core, you will really have to take the time to meet people. You can live in real isolation here even though the city is 7 milllion plus people -it's very easy to keep your head down at your desk, drive your car home from work, walk straight into your apartment, and never communicate on a personal basis with anyone.

So be prepared to do the work, especially as an introvert. Identify your hobbies and the things you want to do, and make sure you can do them here with a group. It doesn't matter what they are, it's whatever you like. If you have trouble with this as an introvert, you can try to move into a tighter walkable neighborhood with a shared front door so you will see your neighbors daily, and check sports scores or the latest video games and make scripts to start conversations with co-workers and neighbors.

Check meetup and other places for activities and put in the effort. Moving without friends is hard -good luck!