Relocation advice needed- Massachusetts to Dallas area (Houston, Southlake: transplants, sales)

[carroll4628]

Originally Posted by GinaVol

I would not compare Alpharetta to Southlake. We contemplated a move to Alpharetta for my husband's job that did not happen and he regularly traveled for work to Alpharetta... So I am familar. Southlake is much, much more flash with not many lower priced homes. $800k would be almost entry level at SL whereas I recall seeing more $400k homes in Alpharetta in the late 2000s that would be what I consider nice homes. I don't think you can get anything in Southlake including townhouses for $400k.

However, for a job in Irving, I would also look at Coppell. Great schools, lots of family oriented things to do and close to everything including your husband's job. Your budget will go further in Coppell for sure. Be sure to check out the older custom homes in Coppell and not just the new builds. I think it fits into your 1985 Volvo mentality pocket.

Agreed, Southlake is more like Milton in North Fulton (I'm thinking the area near the Georgia National GC, large lots and spacious) or parts of Johns Creek (a little more dense). Alpharetta is like Plano or Frisco IMO, and parts of Flower Mound. We lived in the Crabapple area near the "Castle House" from '05-'08.

The dozen or so families I've meet from Southlake at Corporate/Golfing events (Circle Ten Council - Boy Scouts, Dallas CASA) are rather Flashy, as are the families that "mistakenly" moved to Sunnyvale (thinking it was similar to the Sunnyvale, CA, I don't know) and then moved to Southlake. I'd take a hard look in Coppell as well.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by Aceraceae

As a non religious person the amount of religion here can be a bit of a beating.

As a non-religious person who has lived here 27 years, I heartily disagree.

[stan4]

If you're worried about what people think about you based on what you do or don't buy, the problem is in you.

Don't blame the place.
Blame the sheepie mentality or lack of personal conviction to stick to your own value system.

[carroll4628]

Originally Posted by stan4

If you're worried about what people think about you based on what you do or don't buy, the problem is in you.

Don't blame the place.
Blame the sheepie mentality or lack of personal conviction to stick to your own value system.

That's a little easier said than done. Especially when raising children. It's always an interesting conversation when kids find out that other kids don't have a cleaning service (i.e., we're trying to teach our children the importance of learning to clean a bathroom, kitchen, etc.) or yard service (trying to teach my 11 year how to mow the lawn).

Teens can be very cruel to other teens. Tweens can be even worse. I know ALL the schools address the bully problem, but for some reason, kids are still "shunned" by other kids and sometimes that's even worse than being bullied. (Except cyber-bullying - that's the worst.) Being an outcast because of your parents "value system" is difficult to handle for some children, whether they're 8 years old or 14 years old. They don't understand the "larger picture". It's a constant battle to explain how your family is different from other families. Some kids get it, some don't.

I don't care what the PTA moms think about me, but it's heart-breaking when your child is excluded because mom and dad make different financial decisions from all their peers.

So, we parents who relocate around the country, try our best to find a nice, safe school and neighborhood where our children will be tolerated for their parents' financial decisions and beliefs. I wish it wasn't this way, but it is what it is. We all just want our kids to be happy and find a few friends when we have just pulled them away from everyone and everything they know.

[NP78]

Originally Posted by numbersguy100

As someone from Western Mass, I will tell you up front that a move to Southlake will be culture shock in a way that other parts of DFW won't be. Having said that, the mindset of "if I can afford it, why wouldn't I buy it?" is ALL over down here. I get it w/ my car all the time. People ask me why I drive a 2010 car when I make 6 figures (and it's a Toyota - I must secretly be poor!). My response is that I have put 35,000 miles on it since buying it new, it runs perfectly, and I hate driving. Why would I allocate a single extra dollar to a car? I can run through this whole scenario and people are left scratching their heads and saying that don't I feel badly about myself pulling into the private school drop off lane around all the expensive cars. And this isn't the Park Cities crowd. These are people who live in Lakewood, M Streets, Oak Cliff - not the traditional hotbeds of pretension, and I don't consider them to be shallow overall so I honestly can't understand the mindset.

I think maybe because Southlake has an edge in the prestige factor, it draws people who choose it specifically because they think it signals to others that they've somehow made it? Again, these are my perceptions based on interactions with specific people from Southlake. Maybe they misrepresent the town - it certainly has great public schools (for Texas) and it's not a horrible place to live if you work in the suburbs anyways.

Not to dispute your experience, but I would say that my experience is much different. We have a 2010 vehicle as well (which still seems pretty new to me) and while I don't think anyone around really knows my income they can likely surmise by our home and neighborhood that I could afford something different, yet I have never had anyone even begin to question or suggest as much. This is in Lakewood, but I don't really think it is much different anywhere else except maybe Uptown or something like that.

I can't really speak to Southlake, so this isn't helpful to the OP, but while there is a little kernel of truth to the perception of Dallas as a pretentious place I think that is basically a small subset of people and I haven't personally encountered them in "real life".

[NP78]

Originally Posted by Aceraceae

As a non religious person the amount of religion here can be a bit of a beating.

This is one characterization that I have found to be true. It's not a problem, per se, but as a non religious person I have definitely noticed it versus other places I have lived.

[mm4]

Originally Posted by NP78

This is one characterization that I have found to be true. It's not a problem, per se, but as a non religious person I have definitely noticed it versus other places I have lived.

Have a blessed day.

[LeagleEagleDFW]

I'm curious as to why driving a nicer car is supposedly symptomatic of some need to display material wealth, or of being pretentious. Dallas is a driving city, much more so than most other areas of the country. Lots of people just want a nice car during their commute.

[Aceraceae]

Originally Posted by LeagleEagleDFW

I'm curious as to why driving a nicer car is supposedly symptomatic of some need to display material wealth, or of being pretentious. Dallas is a driving city, much more so than most other areas of the country. Lots of people just want a nice car during their commute.

Good point that I've similarly questioned. You don't want to commute in your stick shift '92 Rodeo?

[turf3]

1) Big difference between a new Toyota Camry (a modern, comfortable car for your long commute) and a leased Mercedes or Audi. One is for go and the other for show. Heck, given the (non-) reliability record of Mercedes vs. that of Toyota, the fancier cars won't even go as reliably as the much less expensive Toyota.

2) If you are concerned that not being an other-directed showoff and raising children not to be other-directed showoffs will make you feel culturally out of place, why would you want to move to generica-in-the-exurbs anyway? For the $800,000 the OP referred to, you can get a nice house (2500 sq. ft., 4 BR) around Skillman and University (for example) for about $500k, send the little kids to Dan D. Rogers or Zion Lutheran, save the payments on $300k of mortgage you don't have, and then either send 'em to private school later or move to Plano. Or, by that time, you may have already had to corporately relocate anyway. Also, if you feel you have to keep 2 fancy leased cars, yard and maid service, etc., etc., to hold up your heads in Southlake, you can save even more money by dispensing with those expenses and living somewhere where those things aren't necessary, because no one cares about your image.