Question for DFW Private school parents.. (Spring: middle school, college, live in) - Dallas - Texas (TX) - City-Data Forum

BLDSoon · 07-01-2016, 11:01 AM

Hello All,

A while ago i was here searching for advice for a friend on what to do about her displeasure at having her Spring birthday child admitted to a primer class in our current school. Our daughters are the same age both with spring birthdays and are friends. Her daughter trends to the older side of their age group, physically, socially and just generally in spite of having what some consider a 'late' birthday. I'm not sure when spring became late but i digress. I think she's very mature. She's a six year old that most people would guess is at least 7.

You can imagine her mum's feelings on her being held back. She's rolling with the punches and has not withdrawn from the school....yet. It has been mentioned. The school has competitive admissions and i think thats a deterrent from withdrawing. I've tried to reassure her but frankly i'm starting to think the kid will find the primer kids too young acting and small and even worse when she gets to first grade and there's kinder kids joining. I'm basing this on my personal knowledge of this girl. I dont know what the admissions office knows or why they selected her for primer. The school she is coming from is a bit unorthordox and we think thats why but she is smart and i think would have handled the transition just fine or with some minor tutoring. I dont know that she NEEDS a full year of transition but what do i know?

At first I was just thrilled our girls would be in school together now i'm not so sure this class is the best fit for this particular kid. I cant tell her mum 'oh she'll be fine' with a straight face cause i really don't know anymore. I also dont want to create any more doubt in her head than she already has.

So... My question is, how old are your high school graduates or how old will they be? How many of you have kids graduating at age 19 whether imposed by the school or due to other reasons? What was the experience of the 'oldest in class' kids especially girls? I'm especially interested in the experience of parents with girls that were older in middle and high school in the local private schools and how that played out especially at puberty. I just dont have any points of reference for this particular situation and its actually starting to bother me too. She asks me for advice since i'm already in the school but i really don't have a definitive opinion about this particular scenario. Any help is appreciated.

P.s- neither of us live in HP/UP/Preston Hollow which is where majority of the student body is from. Neither one of us are legacies, our knowledge of privates starts and ends with our kids so all of 3 years of experience. Both of us graduated at 17 and have no personal experience with redshirting or whatever they call it these days. Slightly blind leading the blind here...

turf3 · 07-01-2016, 11:24 AM

Well, I was sent to school at 5 years and 11 months. I really wish I had been held out to start first grade at 6 years and 11 months. Then instead of having been the smallest least developed kid in the class I would have been one of the largest most developed kids.

I don't think this has anything to do with private vs. public schools or all the details you provided above which appear to be specific to a particular school.

I was a boy so I can't discuss anything specific to girls, but I suspect it all comes out in the wash. Kids mature at different rates; when I was in college there was a freshman girl who looked like she was about 10 years old, I kid you not, even though she was 18, and there was another guy who was almost completely bald at 18.

EDS_ · 07-01-2016, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLDSoon

Hello All,

A while ago i was here searching for advice for a friend on what to do about her displeasure at having her Spring birthday child admitted to a primer class in our current school. Our daughters are the same age both with spring birthdays and are friends. Her daughter trends to the older side of their age group, physically, socially and just generally in spite of having what some consider a 'late' birthday. I'm not sure when spring became late but i digress. I think she's very mature. She's a six year old that most people would guess is at least 7.

You can imagine her mum's feelings on her being held back. She's rolling with the punches and has not withdrawn from the school....yet. It has been mentioned. The school has competitive admissions and i think thats a deterrent from withdrawing. I've tried to reassure her but frankly i'm starting to think the kid will find the primer kids too young acting and small and even worse when she gets to first grade and there's kinder kids joining. I'm basing this on my personal knowledge of this girl. I dont know what the admissions office knows or why they selected her for primer. The school she is coming from is a bit unorthordox and we think thats why but she is smart and i think would have handled the transition just fine or with some minor tutoring. I dont know that she NEEDS a full year of transition but what do i know?

At first I was just thrilled our girls would be in school together now i'm not so sure this class is the best fit for this particular kid. I cant tell her mum 'oh she'll be fine' with a straight face cause i really don't know anymore. I also dont want to create any more doubt in her head than she already has.

So... My question is, how old are your high school graduates or how old will they be? How many of you have kids graduating at age 19 whether imposed by the school or due to other reasons? What was the experience of the 'oldest in class' kids especially girls? I'm especially interested in the experience of parents with girls that were older in middle and high school in the local private schools and how that played out especially at puberty. I just dont have any points of reference for this particular situation and its actually starting to bother me too. She asks me for advice since i'm already in the school but i really don't have a definitive opinion about this particular scenario. Any help is appreciated.

P.s- neither of us live in HP/UP/Preston Hollow which is where majority of the student body is from. Neither one of us are legacies, our knowledge of privates starts and ends with our kids so all of 3 years of experience. Both of us graduated at 17 and have no personal experience with redshirting or whatever they call it these days. Slightly blind leading the blind here...

Our son graduated JCP at 17.
Our daughter graduated Ursuline at 18. Given their birth dates our son was nearly 22 months younger on graduation day.

I think your friend and you should relax, this is a top of the first world type of problem - A. You should trust the folks at her school know what they are doing. B I'd be surprised if the year isn't very valuable for the young lady. Finally, it's not like she's going to graduate at 21 or something.

BLDSoon · 07-01-2016, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turf3

Well, I was sent to school at 5 years and 11 months. I really wish I had been held out to start first grade at 6 years and 11 months. Then instead of having been the smallest least developed kid in the class I would have been one of the largest most developed kids.

I don't think this has anything to do with private vs. public schools or all the details you provided above which appear to be specific to a particular school.

I was a boy so I can't discuss anything specific to girls, but I suspect it all comes out in the wash. Kids mature at different rates; when I was in college there was a freshman girl who looked like she was about 10 years old, I kid you not, even though she was 18, and there was another guy who was almost completely bald at 18.

Thanks for your insight.

Oh poor guy.(Bald at 18... Wow) i really didnt even think of this as a thing, its just never crossed my mind to hold a spring birthday child back a year. Maybe thats why i'm having trouble understanding why it was done for this child specifically especially given her personality.

Public schools ( at least in my ISD) will not admit an older kid to a first grade class and have policies in place specifically restricting that practice. For example this kid will be 7 turning 8 in first grade. Thats why i posed my question to private school parents, i assumed ( maybe incorrectly)that it isn't done in public schools.

BLDSoon · 07-01-2016, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EDS_

Our son graduated JCP at 17.
Our daughter graduated Ursuline at 18. Given their birth dates our son was nearly 22 months younger on graduation day.

I think your friend and you should relax, this is a top of the first world type of problem - A. You should trust the folks at her school know what they are doing. B I'd be surprised if the year isn't very valuable for the young lady. Finally, it's not like she's going to graduate at 21 or something.

Oh believe me i've told her ( and myself ) to trust the process. But then we try to think of one girl that we know that graduated at 19.... Or was 15 in middle school...And we don't know a single one...And then we break out in hives

There's probably a certain amount of me feeding off her energy here.... I can acknowledge that much. Like i said, its bothering me too now.

cordata · 07-01-2016, 12:36 PM

I'd be very interested to hear how many folks hold back summer or "late" birthdays in public school ? Anyone ? Particularly in DISD.

EDS_ · 07-01-2016, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLDSoon

Oh believe me i've told her ( and myself ) to trust the process. But then we try to think of one girl that we know that graduated at 19.... Or was 15 in middle school...And we don't know a single one...And then we break out in hives

There's probably a certain amount of me feeding off her energy here.... I can acknowledge that much. Like i said, its bothering me too now.

Sorry if the earlier post sounded gruff or accusatory, I didn't mean it that way at all.

The private school process, especially early on - admissions and then getting rolling - is really stressful. Plus the parents of kids who actually get into better private schools tend to be type-A worriers anyway. So we've felt the same stresses.

At the end of the day your respective kids are going to thrive because you all are interested, engaged, and demanding when need be. All that matter way more than other things.

Shysister · 07-01-2016, 12:58 PM

turf3 · 07-01-2016, 12:59 PM

My father graduated high school a couple of months shy of 20. Granted, this was in 1940.

Shysister · 07-01-2016, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cordata

I'd be very interested to hear how many folks hold back summer or "late" birthdays in public school ? Anyone ? Particularly in DISD.

I know a teacher that teaches in DISD and most kids that are enrolled are already considered old enough to start at either 5 or 6. If they are not already 4 or will turn 4 within 30 days of the first day of school, they have to wait until next year and start at 5.