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Old 01-04-2019, 01:49 PM
 
Location: DFW
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They're all in Bedford.
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Old 01-04-2019, 04:20 PM
 
4,149 posts, read 6,838,078 times
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Originally Posted by UnfairPark View Post
Millions of people live happily in arranged marriages as well. I just don’t find either organic but obviously both can bring good results.
Arranged marriage are way, way, way less 'organic'. There is really not that much NOT organic about online dating and dating apps other than the very first initial connection.

And what does it matter if someone met at a bar, a grocery store, a soccer game, or online? That's just the initial, first-contact. If there is no chemistry there is nothing more. Online dating is a way to make first-contact, with maybe a little filtration ahead of time and that's it. Everything after is what matters in terms of being organic, and that doesn't change whether you meet online or at the bar.
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Old 01-05-2019, 04:28 AM
 
3,678 posts, read 4,121,059 times
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I’m not saying it’s good or bad for you, I personally prefer people meeting randomly and feeling attracted to each other, instead of a going on a planned hunt. However, I wasn’t comparing it to forced marriages but with arranged marriages where instead of computer, your friends or family try to connect you with “compatible” matches and expecting at least one to lead towards a relationship or marriage. Any functioning adult should be able to find romantic partners on his/her own in a community if they are studying/working/volunteering/socializing etc. I can understand it can be difficult for less social ones specially immigrants in a different culture. To be honest, I don’t see anything wrong with blind dates/arranged marriage either, whatever works best for you. Everyone has different set of social skills.
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Old 01-05-2019, 11:07 AM
 
4,149 posts, read 6,838,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnfairPark View Post
I’m not saying it’s good or bad for you, I personally prefer people meeting randomly and feeling attracted to each other, instead of a going on a planned hunt. However, I wasn’t comparing it to forced marriages but with arranged marriages where instead of computer, your friends or family try to connect you with “compatible” matches and expecting at least one to lead towards a relationship or marriage. Any functioning adult should be able to find romantic partners on his/her own in a community if they are studying/working/volunteering/socializing etc. I can understand it can be difficult for less social ones specially immigrants in a different culture. To be honest, I don’t see anything wrong with blind dates/arranged marriage either, whatever works best for you. Everyone has different set of social skills.
As expected, we have very different perspectives on the uses of dating apps or online dating. I do NOT view it as an outlet only for people who are not functioning, social adults.

I am a very social person. I moved to the M streets 3 years ago and had zero problem getting dates via bars, shows, museum events, organized sports, or even the coffee shop. The whole reason I moved to the M streets is that I am a social person, out 4-5 nights a week. But I also used dating apps and online dating apps during this time. Not because I couldn't get dates, rather because I wanted to keep my options open. There are a lot of people here, and there is no reason to rely solely on running into someone in person. I went on a LOT of dates my first 18 months here, mostly starting from in person interactions. But none of those ended up being someone who excited me enough to turn it into anything serious. Then I met an amazingly great match on Tinder. We knew nothing about each other initially besides the fact we were both physically attracted to each other via the app (both of us kept our profiles sparse as we prefer to get to know people on real life), but we had the most organic romantic chemistry I've ever had with someone on the very first date. We just got engaged. I also did not think I'd ever get legally married but the connection was/is that strong.

I only state this because I think your view of online dating is very outdated. I doubt I will change your mind, but the people I met via dating apps were anything BUT adults who aren't social. They were doctors, lawyers, people who managed restaurants, museum curators, bartenders. Sure there were some awkward dates, but I met some really cool people - some of whom Im still friends with and very few of them who I'd consider incapable of finding dates otherwise. Just people who were looking to expand their dating pool, like me. In fact, what I found more common was successful people with busy lives who still wanted a way to meet people without hanging out at bars.
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Old 01-05-2019, 04:24 PM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,158,492 times
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My guess is that they're all doing stuff with their Asian boyfriends.
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Old 01-05-2019, 11:43 PM
 
468 posts, read 468,368 times
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Originally Posted by turf3 View Post
My guess is that they're all doing stuff with their Asian boyfriends.
Learn to sing in Korean and dance like MJ. Kpop be gettin all the pHo's
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Old 01-06-2019, 08:09 AM
 
5,427 posts, read 4,405,092 times
Reputation: 7252
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamiecta View Post
As expected, we have very different perspectives on the uses of dating apps or online dating. I do NOT view it as an outlet only for people who are not functioning, social adults.

I am a very social person. I moved to the M streets 3 years ago and had zero problem getting dates via bars, shows, museum events, organized sports, or even the coffee shop. The whole reason I moved to the M streets is that I am a social person, out 4-5 nights a week. But I also used dating apps and online dating apps during this time. Not because I couldn't get dates, rather because I wanted to keep my options open. There are a lot of people here, and there is no reason to rely solely on running into someone in person. I went on a LOT of dates my first 18 months here, mostly starting from in person interactions. But none of those ended up being someone who excited me enough to turn it into anything serious. Then I met an amazingly great match on Tinder. We knew nothing about each other initially besides the fact we were both physically attracted to each other via the app (both of us kept our profiles sparse as we prefer to get to know people on real life), but we had the most organic romantic chemistry I've ever had with someone on the very first date. We just got engaged. I also did not think I'd ever get legally married but the connection was/is that strong.

I only state this because I think your view of online dating is very outdated. I doubt I will change your mind, but the people I met via dating apps were anything BUT adults who aren't social. They were doctors, lawyers, people who managed restaurants, museum curators, bartenders. Sure there were some awkward dates, but I met some really cool people - some of whom Im still friends with and very few of them who I'd consider incapable of finding dates otherwise. Just people who were looking to expand their dating pool, like me. In fact, what I found more common was successful people with busy lives who still wanted a way to meet people without hanging out at bars.
I do not understand why a single person would move to the M Streets. If you're single, why not Uptown? Downtown? One of the apartment complexes off of Henderson? While the M Streets are centrally located, I've never thought of the M Streets as a hub of social activity for a single person. You really have to force yourself out there in the M Streets whereas if you live in Uptown, you just step outside the apartment and you're already at a bar. I also didn't understand why you need Tinder, if you had bars, shows, the coffee shops, museum events, and participated in organized sports. That's a lot of activity. I would find it draining to go to bars, shows, coffee shops, museum events, and participate in an organized sports and still perceive the need to do Tinder. I tend to be more introverted though and work in short bursts of energy when I've needed to do approaches.


Quote:
Originally Posted by jamiecta View Post
And what does it matter if someone met at a bar, a grocery store, a soccer game, or online? That's just the initial, first-contact. If there is no chemistry there is nothing more. Online dating is a way to make first-contact, with maybe a little filtration ahead of time and that's it. Everything after is what matters in terms of being organic, and that doesn't change whether you meet online or at the bar.
I think it matters how you meet someone. If things work out, it's a way better story to tell to say "We met at the grocery store" or "We played in the same recreational sports league" than "We met on Tinder" or "We met on Bumble". Also, in a frictionless environment, people tend to treat each other worse. If two people are first interacting behind an electronic screen, of course both sides are going to exhibit the worst behavior possible. If there are no consequences for treating someone like garbage because there's no chance you'll ever run into the other person again, mostly everyone will take that opportunity to treat someone like garbage. That's what happens on Tinder and Bumble. Both sexes are inclined to treat each other in a subhuman fashion in the early stages because they know they can get away with it.

Even with that said, there have been times in my dating life where I've been shocked at how callously I was treated when the first interaction was through real life. Incidences where I met someone at non-bar venues like a book store, or the grocery store, or out on the streets or at a park and I was still treated like garbage. I would have expected that on an app like Tinder or Bumble, but not from a first interaction in real life and one not even at a random watering hole, regardless of how upscale the bar is.

Last edited by RJ312; 01-06-2019 at 08:17 AM..
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Old 01-06-2019, 05:10 PM
 
4,149 posts, read 6,838,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
I do not understand why a single person would move to the M Streets. If you're single, why not Uptown? Downtown? One of the apartment complexes off of Henderson? While the M Streets are centrally located, I've never thought of the M Streets as a hub of social activity for a single person. You really have to force yourself out there in the M Streets whereas if you live in Uptown, you just step outside the apartment and you're already at a bar. I also didn't understand why you need Tinder, if you had bars, shows, the coffee shops, museum events, and participated in organized sports. That's a lot of activity. I would find it draining to go to bars, shows, coffee shops, museum events, and participate in an organized sports and still perceive the need to do Tinder. I tend to be more introverted though and work in short bursts of energy when I've needed to do approaches.
In regards to the M Streets, it's very centrally located with easy access to everything. I work downtown, so I walk to the train at Mockingbird every day. I can also easily take the train downtown or to deep ellum if I don't want to Uber. Additionally, I really do not like Uptown at all really. I/we am there for restaurants now and then, but it is not my social scene at all for the most part. I am greenville, deep ellum, lakewood, a few places downtown, oak cliff. Also, in Greenville, I can bike to several bars and coffee shops in 5 mins or less so it's really not any less convenient than Uptown.In regard to Tinder, it goes back to my previous post. It gave me a wider pool. I didn't 'need' Tinder but also, why not? My going to bars, shows, museum events, and sports was not first to find dates, these are the things I enjoy doing socially, and that we still do together. It just did also happen to lead to dates because I would approach girls that I was interested in or give my number out to girls I met. But, other than maybe bars, those events were for the event first, but they did expose me to people.

However, as previously stated, I wasn't finding anyone that really made me want to put stakes down and make it permanent so I kept my pool open with Tinder and Bumble. (and it worked out!) I didn't really find it to be draining, I found it somewhat less so than the in person interaction. But I can understand people have different preferences.




Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
think it matters how you meet someone. If things work out, it's a way better story to tell to say "We met at the grocery store" or "We played in the same recreational sports league" than "We met on Tinder" or "We met on Bumble". Also, in a frictionless environment, people tend to treat each other worse. If two people are first interacting behind an electronic screen, of course both sides are going to exhibit the worst behavior possible. If there are no consequences for treating someone like garbage because there's no chance you'll ever run into the other person again, mostly everyone will take that opportunity to treat someone like garbage. That's what happens on Tinder and Bumble. Both sexes are inclined to treat each other in a subhuman fashion in the early stages because they know they can get away with it.

Even with that said, there have been times in my dating life where I've been shocked at how callously I was treated when the first interaction was through real life. Incidences where I met someone at non-bar venues like a book store, or the grocery store, or out on the streets or at a park and I was still treated like garbage. I would have expected that on an app like Tinder or Bumble, but not from a first interaction in real life and one not even at a random watering hole, regardless of how upscale the bar is.
To each their own I suppose. Personally as long as I'm happy in the relationship, it doesn't bother me to say we met on Tinder. It's kind of funny actually because a lot of people have a negative view of online dating so they are surprised.

As a guy, I didn't really have much negative interaction with women on the apps; however, I have heard horror stories from women so I do know that it goes on.
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Old 01-06-2019, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,287,453 times
Reputation: 25941
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnfairPark View Post
I’m not saying it’s good or bad for you, I personally prefer people meeting randomly and feeling attracted to each other, instead of a going on a planned hunt.
It can be really hard for adults over 30 to meet randomly when they are out places. Options tend to get narrower as time goes on and one must weed and sort through to find people who aren't already married or don't have "issues". There is nothing wrong with going online to meet people. Online dating exponentially increases the odds of meeting someone that a person is compatible with, as it's possible to go through dozens of profiles every week or even hundreds. The only issue with online dating are people out there who stupid, naive and don't know how to spot fake profiles or know when they are being gamed by someone. Then, after they've been had, chewed up and spit out, they go around telling everyone how terrible that online dating is and that it's "all a scam."
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Old 01-07-2019, 11:56 AM
 
1,428 posts, read 1,449,780 times
Reputation: 1781
I'm thinking they are in Asia? Best chances there.

Never used it, but I would think this would be a perfect case for dating website. Instead of batting 1000 to 1 or 10,000 to 1, you batting more in the 10 to 1 realm I would think. To me there is a much much much better chance of matching what you want and what they want especially if your idea of a match is more unique than average.
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