Southlake - How easy it was for transplants to make friends? (Dallas: high school, college)

[tunnelcat]

To the OP original question: As a current Southlake family who works in and sends their kids to school in Dallas, it has been difficult for us to make meaningful friendships in Southlake. I suspect your experience would be different with children in the Southlake school system, as that connects many families in Southlake. There is tremendous pride among families with being a "dragon," and people care deeply about the education system.

Our experience with our neighbors and the general community is that people are friendly and warm. I grew up in the suburbs in the Southeast, and it feels similar to that for me. Politically, it's definitely red, but there are still plenty of people with diverse views. Even in a hotly contested school board election, the more liberal candidate pulled down nearly 35% of the vote. Frankly, I think the news highlights a sensationalized version of the real experience.

Outside of school, I think it's tougher to make friends because people are so busy with their own lives; however, that doesn't mean there aren't opportunities, including great events at Town Square several times a year.

Regarding the racism topic, my wife is non-white, and we rarely notice overt racism in our day-to-day interactions with neighbors or in/around the community. Of course it's there (and I suspect more noticeably with kids at the upper schools based on what I've heard from other parents), but we've had more noticeable experiences with it in PH/Park Cities, where some mom's have at times treated her like the nanny (for the avoidance of doubt, I don't believe that's the norm in that area -- lots of nice people too). I wouldn't let fear of racism scare you away -- my view is that there are enough good people in the community for you to mostly avoid the more toxic subset of the community.

The status consciousness of the community is as I would expect given the overall affluence. It happens in other areas in Dallas too, and I think it's on us as parents to help lay the foundation for values. In some neighborhoods like Southlake you'll need to put more energy in keeping your kids down to earth than if they live in other neighborhoods, but you may not have to put as much energy in other areas of risk that could develop in less affluent areas like Grapevine, for example. I believe it's rare that you find a place that insulates you only from the bad -- the bad seems to find its way in all communities, just in different forms.

Overall, I think there's a lot to like about Southlake. We will likely look to move to Dallas at some point in the future if our children stay in private school, but that's not to take away from Southlake -- it's clean, safe, filled with people of similar socioeconomic backgrounds who care about education, contains lots of easily accessible stores and good infrastructure, has less traffic than other comparable areas, and has a generally attractive aesthetic (if you don't mind the cookie-cutter feel of some neighborhoods).

Best of luck with your move, and feel free to DM me if you want to know anything else.

[tunnelcat]

One other point to add related to education, since you mentioned the schools in one of your posts:

My sense, from talking with parents who have had kids in a range of top DFW school districts, including the top privates, is that Southlake is a great place for an average to bright kid, especially if you place a heavy emphasis on sports. If your child is highly gifted, I've heard the ASPIRE academy in Grapevine-Colleyville ISD is excellent. For a less sports-focused culture in the same area, there's a charter school called Westlake Academy for Westlake residents that is well-regarded.

Of course there are many good public and private options around the metroplex, including UP/HP, if you want to venture further from the airport.

[DFWGuy422]

Someone, probably OP, added a reputation comment with a question about whether it would be difficult/how difficult it would be to fit in HPISD and I have private messages off so thought I would respond here.

Disclaimer — I have no direct experience with HPISD, so someone who does should take over. However, I have had friends/acquaintances go through.

Highland Park doesn’t exactly look like a UN meeting, and there is next to zero socioeconomic diversity, but both of those things are also true of Southlake and per the mountains of posts on here much more likely to be problematic or contentious in Southlake. For what it’s worth, the people I know from the Park Cities are nicer and I would think more likely to be welcoming than the people I know from Southlake.

[75214Dad]

Originally Posted by MurphyPl1

So there's a lot of Hispanic/Latine kids?

Yes- Walnut Grove, to pick one out of a hat, is 56.9% white, 23.3% Asian, 10.4% Hispanic, and 6.9% mixed. Lower grades will be less white than higher grade levels.

[NP78]

Originally Posted by DFWGuy422

Someone, probably OP, added a reputation comment with a question about whether it would be difficult/how difficult it would be to fit in HPISD and I have private messages off so thought I would respond here.

Disclaimer — I have no direct experience with HPISD, so someone who does should take over. However, I have had friends/acquaintances go through.

Highland Park doesn’t exactly look like a UN meeting, and there is next to zero socioeconomic diversity, but both of those things are also true of Southlake and per the mountains of posts on here much more likely to be problematic or contentious in Southlake. For what it’s worth, the people I know from the Park Cities are nicer and I would think more likely to be welcoming than the people I know from Southlake.

I don’t have ties to either, but Southlake schools are way more diverse than HPISD (61% white in Southlake, 82% in HPISD).

[DFWGuy422]

Originally Posted by NP78

I don’t have ties to either, but Southlake schools are way more diverse than HPISD (61% white in Southlake, 82% in HPISD).

Right - but I still wouldn’t consider Southlake “diverse” at ~85% white and Asian. In this way, it is quite similar to Highland Park, even if the exact numbers differ.

[tcualum]

Originally Posted by DFWGuy422

If you're averse to Plano and Frisco ISD but want good public schools, might be working in Dallas frequently or semi-frequently, and have the budget for Southlake, the obvious choice would be Highland or University Park. HPISD is one of the best public school districts in the US and is far stronger than Southlake without the ongoing controversy, DoE investigations, and negative stigma. I realize I suggested suburbs on my previous post, but glancing back through the thread I couldn't find anything where you said that a suburb is a must-have.

We chose not to move to HP for the same reasons we chose not to move to Southlake.

[DFWGuy422]

Originally Posted by tcualum

We chose not to move to HP for the same reasons we chose not to move to Southlake.

The original poster is seemingly somewhat okay with Southlake. If they’re fine with Southlake, they’ll also be fine with HP, which doesn’t have these issues to anywhere near the same extent that Southlake does

[tcualum]

Originally Posted by DFWGuy422

The original poster is seemingly somewhat okay with Southlake. If they’re fine with Southlake, they’ll also be fine with HP, which doesn’t have these issues to anywhere near the same extent that Southlake does

I don't know how it is now but they have had issues with racism in the past. I was born in Dallas and grew up there. I remember when it made the Dallas Morning News when a black family moved to HP and I remember when some high school students got in trouble for bringing leaf blowers and dressing like maids on Cinco de Mayo. I really hope it's gotten better.

[astropathtobe]

We moved from northeast and chose UP (park cities) over southlake. Hard to compare the two areas but our last school election at least had a more positive outcome. The price point of UP/HP over Southlake is higher though, just something to consider!