What is the transition like moving from Phoenix, AZ to the DFW, TX? (Dallas: houses, landscaping)

[phoeilbert]

People really move back to Phoenix from Dallas? Why is that? I thought people would want to settle down in Dallas. And yes, I figured that Dallas had a sense of community. It's probably like the deep southeast where your new neighbors bring you a pie. I am a little bit naive because I've experienced so much social isolation in Phoenix and people treated me so badly here. I was hoping Dallas would be a better chapter in my life. I know I wasn't the problem because I'm a great person. I felt like I didn't fit into the crowd in Phoenix. Also, so many bad things happened to me in Arizona.

I think I'm gonna give Dallas a try. I have a feeling I'm gonna love it.

[supfromthesite]

I wouldn’t expect the whole your neighbor bringing you a pie thing unless you live in a small town outside of the city or a suburb that is full of Texans… it is definitely more likely to happen than in Arizona though, I would think.

That sort of thing is more common in smaller cities or towns.

[phoeilbert]

I think I want to give Dallas a try. I have some hesitations, but I won't ever know what it was like living there until I tried it. I just feel so lonely and socially isolated in Phoenix. Nobody talks to each other and your often greeted with rudeness. A few occasions, I held the door open for people and was told, "excuse me" instead of, "thank you", but those have been rare occasions. Most people say thank you over here. It's just too self-reserved. Neighbors keep to themselves, events are often cliquish, Arizona is also very transplant heavy too. I used to like people, but now I just keep to myself too. It gets really lonely after six years of keeping to yourself.

I've considered Houston, but it's way too hot and way too humid. I've kind of considered San Antonio, but I had relatives there who never even met their neighbors and mentioned that it was because San Antonio is self reserved. For me, I thought people were decent in San Antonio, but Dallas and Houston both appear more friendlier.

With this said, I choose Dallas. What I might do is sign a six month lease and if I don't like it, I can always return to Arizona. I have a feeling I'm gonna love it, except having to fear tornados.

[biafra4life]

I agree with the others who say that it will to a large degree depend on you. How friendly you are yourself, and if you can luck out and find a good group that you fit in with and will accept you. The second part is key. I know a few single coworkers who say that it can be difficult to break into a group, especially if they have all been friends for a long time. But these were girls. I would think it wouldnt be as hard for guys. Just find a church (if that's your thing) or a sports league.

[tmtex]

Originally Posted by phoeilbert

I've kind of considered San Antonio, but I had relatives there who never even met their neighbors

No different than Dallas. I have a California couple 2 houses down that moved in over a year ago. Seen them once or twice. They dont come out. Back in the day we used to have block parties. All those people moved on. I think thats all over

[supfromthesite]

It all depends on the neighborhood.

If you can deal with a smaller city you will find what you are looking for in a place like San Angelo, Tyler, Victoria, or a city even smaller. In general small cities or towns tend to have the things that you mentioned moreso than bigger cities.

[texstout]

Originally Posted by phoeilbert

As long as Dallas is friendly, that's all that matters. It's probably not Abilene or Longview friendly, but what I am looking for are the following characteristics:

People smiling when you smile back, not getting a look like your crazy.
People saying hi back on a running trail in your neighborhood.
People starting conversations with you in the grocery store line.
A big sense of community.
No Self-Reserved Culture.
No Rude people.
Being able to introduce yourself to your neighbors without being ignored or having a door slam in your face.
Door holding.
No rude drivers or road rage. I want to be in a city where drivers are polite like they are in Allentown and in Lubbock.
No line cutting.

Phoenix did not have a big sense of community. Probably the only city where people are so self-reserved and hate socializing. That was one of the reasons it was so hard to make friends there. Arizona as a whole seems to have that aloofness self-reserved culture. Having been to most places, people are much friendlier in cities like Allentown and in Washington DC and in the south. I can't speak for LA because I haven't spent much time there except 5 days, but from a tourist perspective, people seemed so nice and friendly in LA.

I sure hope Dallas is not the Texas version of Phoenix. From what I'm seeing, it almost kind of sounds like it is. The only way I'll know is once I live there, I'll see it for myself. People's experiences are never the same.

You generally had me until 'no rude drivers or road rage'. Dallas is a big city - huge if you count the greater DFW metroplex. You can't compare it to Lubbock at all. There is tons of road rage here.

[A.Typical.Girl]

Originally Posted by phoeilbert

I think I want to give Dallas a try. I have some hesitations, but I won't ever know what it was like living there until I tried it. I just feel so lonely and socially isolated in Phoenix. Nobody talks to each other and your often greeted with rudeness. A few occasions, I held the door open for people and was told, "excuse me" instead of, "thank you", but those have been rare occasions. Most people say thank you over here. It's just too self-reserved. Neighbors keep to themselves, events are often cliquish, Arizona is also very transplant heavy too. I used to like people, but now I just keep to myself too. It gets really lonely after six years of keeping to yourself.

I've considered Houston, but it's way too hot and way too humid. I've kind of considered San Antonio, but I had relatives there who never even met their neighbors and mentioned that it was because San Antonio is self reserved. For me, I thought people were decent in San Antonio, but Dallas and Houston both appear more friendlier.

With this said, I choose Dallas. What I might do is sign a six month lease and if I don't like it, I can always return to Arizona. I have a feeling I'm gonna love it, except having to fear tornados.

I'm currently interviewing for a couple of jobs in the Dallas area. But, I'm also interviewing for jobs in other parts of the country. I'd hope to have an offer by 1st wk of Nov... fingers crossed.

I understand your feelings of isolation. I'm alone, too & move yearly, so although I smile easily & am friendly & approachable, it can be tough to break in & find a circle of friends.

If I'm offered a job there, I'll take it & plan on moving asap. I'm older than you, but I'd be happy to meet you for coffee or lunch & stay in touch. I'm sure we'll cross paths from time to time & you'll find your bearings & get settled nicely, but it's good to have contacts, even if they're not people you see often. In any event, I just wanted to reach out to say hello & hopefully we'll be living near each other in a month or so.

I'll keep you posted with my progress & good luck with your decision making on moving to Dallas. I think your last paragraph is a good plan... stay 6-mos & see if you like it, if it won't hurt your career. I've made many fresh starts in my life & they've always been for the better... sometimes not perfect & I wanted to leave at the end of my lease, but nonetheless, for the most part, they were good choices to make a change.



ETA: Oh, btw, I appreciate all the thoughtful & helpful replies to this thread. I'm following along & look forward to moving to DFW, if it's in the cards. I think it will be great.

[Wittgenstein's Ghost]

Originally Posted by texstout

You generally had me until 'no rude drivers or road rage'. Dallas is a big city - huge if you count the greater DFW metroplex. You can't compare it to Lubbock at all. There is tons of road rage here.

Agreed. The road rage issue in DFW is bad. But it's also pretty bad in Abilene and Lubbock. I've lived in both places, and I witnessed road rage issues in both. I once had to call the police on a road rage issue in Abilene, and when I lived there, there was a pretty high profile incident where one guy shot another in the head right in the middle of town over a road incident.

I'm not sure what has caused this sort of thing to get worse, but it definitely seems like it has.

[biafra4life]

Originally Posted by A.Typical.Girl

I'm currently interviewing for a couple of jobs in the Dallas area. But, I'm also interviewing for jobs in other parts of the country. I'd hope to have an offer by 1st wk of Nov... fingers crossed.

I understand your feelings of isolation. I'm alone, too & move yearly, so although I smile easily & am friendly & approachable, it can be tough to break in & find a circle of friends.

If I'm offered a job there, I'll take it & plan on moving asap. I'm older than you, but I'd be happy to meet you for coffee or lunch & stay in touch. I'm sure we'll cross paths from time to time & you'll find your bearings & get settled nicely, but it's good to have contacts, even if they're not people you see often. In any event, I just wanted to reach out to say hello & hopefully we'll be living near each other in a month or so.

I'll keep you posted with my progress & good luck with your decision making on moving to Dallas. I think your last paragraph is a good plan... stay 6-mos & see if you like it, if it won't hurt your career. I've made many fresh starts in my life & they've always been for the better... sometimes not perfect & I wanted to leave at the end of my lease, but nonetheless, for the most part, they were good choices to make a change.



ETA: Oh, btw, I appreciate all the thoughtful & helpful replies to this thread. I'm following along & look forward to moving to DFW, if it's in the cards. I think it will be great.

The impression I've gotten is that for women, it can be VERY hard to find a group of female friends here. It works best if you either went to high school or college here then you have a ready made network, but for people coming from out of town with no network it can be rough. You said you were older and that can be another complication. My coworker was in her late 30s moving here, and one of the problems for her was that most of the women in her age group were married with children as opposed to her single and childess, so the interests were just too different. Hopefully none of that happens to you, but just bear that in mind if moving here.