Why do guys always gush about "Dallas women?" (Plano: neighborhood, marketplace)
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I'm a transplant to the Dallas area, Chicago native, also used to live in Atlanta (hence my screen name). I am a single female. I live in Tarrant County. I don't care for it all that much.
I've lived in the area for almost 3 years now. So far, I don't see anything stand-out the women here, except like what someone else mentioned, maybe people are just looking at young college girls. Maybe I don't see it as a hetero female. However, I think the women in Chicago and Atlanta (of all ethnicities) are for more attractive than the women in the Dallas area from what I have observed. Just my opinion.
As far as meeting single men, try to somehow focus on finding men who are also transplants. The Dallas area is pretty conservative and it seems the locals marry and have a few kids by the time they are 30. It's very difficult to find men here who aren't attached. I've tried online dating here in Dallas. No offense, but the quality of men online in the Dallas area is abysmal--so bad in fact that one of the dating sites I was paying for, I demanded my money back (which luckily they refunded): Lots of single fathers with small children, lots of country-looking dudes (which may not appeal to a Chicagoan. I know it doesn't appeal to me), lots of bearded obese dudes, lots of really unattractive men. You will come across a few, attractive educated guys if you go the online dating route, but most of the men I've seen here so far fit my previous description. Also, there are a lot of men here from Oklahoma and Louisiana, which to me probably adds more to that "country factor," which again may not appeal to you as a Chicagoan. I've changed my settings on my dating profiles and I am now only looking for men outside the Dallas area unless they are foreign transplants or are from Chicago or the coasts.
Whenever I've asked the locals in person or online where is a good place that singles hang out, no one can ever give me answer.
I'm looking to move back to Chicago as soon as I can! I'm also considering the West Coast. There are more single men out there.
It sucks for guys like me too. I am an educated, well-traveled, professional man of color who relocated to the DFW area last year and women here avoid me like the plague. I've no luck with the local women and I've been on OKCupid since April 2018. When I lived up North I went out on a lot more dates. Most of the women in DFW are religious, close-minded, unattractive and sexually repressed.
I'm a transplant to the Dallas area, Chicago native, also used to live in Atlanta (hence my screen name). I am a single female. I live in Tarrant County. I don't care for it all that much.
I've lived in the area for almost 3 years now. So far, I don't see anything stand-out the women here, except like what someone else mentioned, maybe people are just looking at young college girls. Maybe I don't see it as a hetero female. However, I think the women in Chicago and Atlanta (of all ethnicities) are for more attractive than the women in the Dallas area from what I have observed. Just my opinion.
As far as meeting single men, try to somehow focus on finding men who are also transplants. The Dallas area is pretty conservative and it seems the locals marry and have a few kids by the time they are 30. It's very difficult to find men here who aren't attached. I've tried online dating here in Dallas. No offense, but the quality of men online in the Dallas area is abysmal--so bad in fact that one of the dating sites I was paying for, I demanded my money back (which luckily they refunded): Lots of single fathers with small children, lots of country-looking dudes (which may not appeal to a Chicagoan. I know it doesn't appeal to me), lots of bearded obese dudes, lots of really unattractive men. You will come across a few, attractive educated guys if you go the online dating route, but most of the men I've seen here so far fit my previous description. Also, there are a lot of men here from Oklahoma and Louisiana, which to me probably adds more to that "country factor," which again may not appeal to you as a Chicagoan. I've changed my settings on my dating profiles and I am now only looking for men outside the Dallas area unless they are foreign transplants or are from Chicago or the coasts.
Whenever I've asked the locals in person or online where is a good place that singles hang out, no one can ever give me answer.
I'm looking to move back to Chicago as soon as I can! I'm also considering the West Coast. There are more single men out there.
In the 3 years since this post was made, the poster moved away from Dallas, which seemed to work out well for her. The most interesting thing from this post was the fact that this poster is a female and she had a difficult time with the nearly unlimited choice women have in DFW with the excess of single men relative to single women. To some extent, her post illustrated some quality issues in the dating pool of single men.
I am intrigued that the poster illustrated an issue with single fathers. Generally, there are more childless men than childless women.
I think there were some things specific to her that caused her to have issues here. She deserves credit for taking a proactive step to leave here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysan89
It sucks for guys like me too. I am an educated, well-traveled, professional man of color who relocated to the DFW area last year and women here avoid me like the plague. I've no luck with the local women and I've been on OKCupid since April 2018. When I lived up North I went out on a lot more dates. Most of the women in DFW are religious, close-minded, unattractive and sexually repressed.
It's you, not Dallas. There are many legitimate complaints that one can have about the mating marketplace in this city. Some of yours are legitimate, but some of yours are specific to actions that you take.
OkCupid is dead. Think about it. OkCupid launched in 2004. In online dating terms, that makes it in a dinosaur. Tinder launched in 2012 and even Tinder is a bit cliche at this point, but it's still the leading app in the space. OkCupid was not killed by Tinder, but it was weakened so much that once Bumble and the 2nd generation revived Hinge got big, it killed it. Unlike Match.com, which has survived the app era by becoming popular with the 50+ age set, OkCupid never developed a following with the burgeoning group of grey divorcees. OkCupid was generally used by 20/30 somethings, who are more tech savvy and moved on to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc. You'd be wise to avoid dating apps because there are a lot of major downsides and few upsides.
I'm not a practitioner of an organized religion here and I've never encountered that as a major dating issue. I am on the older side of the Millennial generation, and about 40% of Millennials (birth years 1981-1996 per Pew Research) are not active practitioners of religion. Occasionally, there have been instances with women have given me a difficult time over it, but they quickly moved on, so did I, and no one had any hard feelings over it. I wouldn't even think to mention it in a conversation about dating issues in Dallas. For you, as a man in your late 40s, you might have a more difficult time getting in with the more non-religious Millennial cohort. I can empathize with your point of view of religiousness and you might have a more difficult time dealing with the more religious Gen X set.
The women here are not exactly closed minded. The problem is that they have nearly unlimited choices due to the fact that there is a massive surplus of men, which can appear as closed minded. They can be as fussy as they choose to be, and mostly get away with it, especially childless, white women who are ages 25+ and have a Bachelor's degree or more, which describes a fairly typical urbanite female. As I illustrated in the post about interracial dating, you as an Indian American male, are just not the first choice of white, Hispanic, or East Asian women who are open to dating interracially, which is a smaller subset of women, than all women because not all women are open to interracial dating.
Unattractive might be a legitimate complaint. If you are assessing women in their 20s/30s in central city neighborhoods, there's a subset of quite attractive women. Women who live north of Interstate 635 who are 40+ and in extended relationships are less likely to be in shape. Unattractive is subjective and all about who you are exposed to through the course of your actions. I have had few complaints about the physical attractiveness of women in this city. I have a BMI below 25, I work out 5 days a week, and I live in a central city neighborhood. I'm generally dealing with women who have a normal BMI and are reasonably active.
I don't necessarily agree with sexually repressed. It's something subjective, like attractive. There are women in this city having one night stands. There are swingers clubs in this city and swingers clubs would not exist if there was not a demand for them. I don't want to stray too far off topic here. I am curious as to how you perceive sexually repressed because that hasn't been a chief complaint that I have had in this city. My sense is that you are confusing sexual repression with some other factor, likely the immense female choice due to the male surplus that exists.
My suggestion to you is to focus your search on women of Indian ancestry, either U.S. born or India born, who are 40+. The Indian population has been booming in the last 20 years in DFW. There are Indians all over Irving, Plano, Frisco, and a few other areas. I'd say that your search should be focused offline. I would try to enhance my social relationships within Indian/Indian-American communities. This is likely something easier said than done. However, it represents your best chance for finding a woman who is looking for exactly the attributes you possess and who values those attributes. You deserve happiness and to spend time with someone who perceives your attributes as valuable. It's very frustrating to interact with those who do not value what you offer.
Jaysan89, based on your history of posts, I would have to assume the problem is you; not Dallas women. You seem to have a very negative perspective of DFW and seem quite miserable here. Women aren't attracted to men with bad attitudes and will catch on to that.
Also, when you insult the woman population as a whole in DFW, that makes me believe that you don't respect the women here. The women you meet probably get that vibe and therefore, are immediately turned off by you.
Simply, women like men who are confident and you do not exude confidence.
I suggest changing your attitude, working on your self-esteem, and be patient and respectful towards women. If you still find yourself miserable, you may want to move elsewhere.
I am white and married an Indian man. I have plenty of friends here who aren't Indian who married Indian men. They are all great women who married Indian men, not because they couldn't find anyone else, but because they fell in love. As for unattractive, I have no idea whether your views are realistic or whether you're realistic regarding how attractive you are. I'm tired of men thinking they can get an attractive, smart, successful woman without any effort on their part.
I am white and married an Indian man. I have plenty of friends here who aren't Indian who married Indian men. They are all great women who married Indian men, not because they couldn't find anyone else, but because they fell in love. As for unattractive, I have no idea whether your views are realistic or whether you're realistic regarding how attractive you are. I'm tired of men thinking they can get an attractive, smart, successful woman without any effort on their part.
I have to agree. This guy sounds super arrogant and entitled. Like he did everything correctly in life thus far so he feels he's supposed to have 8s and up only. Not if your personality sucks and you're the type that only talks about yourself to women.
In the 3 years since this post was made, the poster moved away from Dallas, which seemed to work out well for her. The most interesting thing from this post was the fact that this poster is a female and she had a difficult time with the nearly unlimited choice women have in DFW with the excess of single men relative to single women. To some extent, her post illustrated some quality issues in the dating pool of single men.
I am intrigued that the poster illustrated an issue with single fathers. Generally, there are more childless men than childless women.
I think there were some things specific to her that caused her to have issues here. She deserves credit for taking a proactive step to leave here.
It's you, not Dallas. There are many legitimate complaints that one can have about the mating marketplace in this city. Some of yours are legitimate, but some of yours are specific to actions that you take.
OkCupid is dead. Think about it. OkCupid launched in 2004. In online dating terms, that makes it in a dinosaur. Tinder launched in 2012 and even Tinder is a bit cliche at this point, but it's still the leading app in the space. OkCupid was not killed by Tinder, but it was weakened so much that once Bumble and the 2nd generation revived Hinge got big, it killed it. Unlike Match.com, which has survived the app era by becoming popular with the 50+ age set, OkCupid never developed a following with the burgeoning group of grey divorcees. OkCupid was generally used by 20/30 somethings, who are more tech savvy and moved on to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc. You'd be wise to avoid dating apps because there are a lot of major downsides and few upsides.
I'm not a practitioner of an organized religion here and I've never encountered that as a major dating issue. I am on the older side of the Millennial generation, and about 40% of Millennials (birth years 1981-1996 per Pew Research) are not active practitioners of religion. Occasionally, there have been instances with women have given me a difficult time over it, but they quickly moved on, so did I, and no one had any hard feelings over it. I wouldn't even think to mention it in a conversation about dating issues in Dallas. For you, as a man in your late 40s, you might have a more difficult time getting in with the more non-religious Millennial cohort. I can empathize with your point of view of religiousness and you might have a more difficult time dealing with the more religious Gen X set.
The women here are not exactly closed minded. The problem is that they have nearly unlimited choices due to the fact that there is a massive surplus of men, which can appear as closed minded. They can be as fussy as they choose to be, and mostly get away with it, especially childless, white women who are ages 25+ and have a Bachelor's degree or more, which describes a fairly typical urbanite female. As I illustrated in the post about interracial dating, you as an Indian American male, are just not the first choice of white, Hispanic, or East Asian women who are open to dating interracially, which is a smaller subset of women, than all women because not all women are open to interracial dating.
Unattractive might be a legitimate complaint. If you are assessing women in their 20s/30s in central city neighborhoods, there's a subset of quite attractive women. Women who live north of Interstate 635 who are 40+ and in extended relationships are less likely to be in shape. Unattractive is subjective and all about who you are exposed to through the course of your actions. I have had few complaints about the physical attractiveness of women in this city. I have a BMI below 25, I work out 5 days a week, and I live in a central city neighborhood. I'm generally dealing with women who have a normal BMI and are reasonably active.
I don't necessarily agree with sexually repressed. It's something subjective, like attractive. There are women in this city having one night stands. There are swingers clubs in this city and swingers clubs would not exist if there was not a demand for them. I don't want to stray too far off topic here. I am curious as to how you perceive sexually repressed because that hasn't been a chief complaint that I have had in this city. My sense is that you are confusing sexual repression with some other factor, likely the immense female choice due to the male surplus that exists.
My suggestion to you is to focus your search on women of Indian ancestry, either U.S. born or India born, who are 40+. The Indian population has been booming in the last 20 years in DFW. There are Indians all over Irving, Plano, Frisco, and a few other areas. I'd say that your search should be focused offline. I would try to enhance my social relationships within Indian/Indian-American communities. This is likely something easier said than done. However, it represents your best chance for finding a woman who is looking for exactly the attributes you possess and who values those attributes. You deserve happiness and to spend time with someone who perceives your attributes as valuable. It's very frustrating to interact with those who do not value what you offer.
It's been said elsewhere in the thread years ago, but Dallas women have a reputation of being "put together." They make an effort into their appearance whether they are just going to the store or going nowhere at all.
Women who grew up here have that ingrained in them... I watched my mother put on makeup, jewelry, etc, every time she left the house. Those women with daughters, I see the practice is still alive and well with them too, as I see moms shopping at the grocery store but still looking done up, or even getting done up to go to the gym.
Women who are my age grew up making the effort, and you can still see that going on with long time residents. I would say it's become somewhat less common with all the transplants coming in, but eventually, a lot of them start doing it too when they realize they are standing out whether they are at the grocery store or going to a PTA meeting and everyone else is wearing makeup and jewelry and could just as easily go out on the town on a whim without having to go home to change or get ready.
I guess this is similar to my other post, but I've been noticing, some guys on this board will talk about "the women" in Dallas as being a plus of moving there. Like I said before, this seriously frightens me, as an outsider, hoping I'll be able to get dates, if I'm surrounded by Miss American contestants. I'm just wondering, why do you guys think Dallas women are better than women from anywhere else? I lived in San Diego and most of the girls there were thin, super tan and had fake boobs, etc. So, wouldn't you guys think San Diego women are just as hot? I'm also curious why you never hear women from Dallas gush about hot men. Are all the women centerfolds and all the guys hideous trolls or something? A little insight would be helpful. And, like I said before, I hope a transplant, like myself, can find a man there. Chicago is mostly women (most of them attractive), so hoping my odds are better in TX.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcp123
Never heard anyone gush about Dallas women? I don’t see anything particularly distinguishing about them, negatively or positively.
A poster 10 years ago was concerned that she would not be able to compete for dates with Dallas women with perfect tans, perfect breast implants, perfect physical fitness, and perfect attitudes. I now have 8 years of dating and relationship experience with Dallas women. Very few women in Dallas have all 4 of those things I mentioned. I'll try to fairly assess Dallas women here quickly.
Dallas women are fairly typical big city women. I've lived in central city neighborhoods all 8 years and dated/had relationships with mostly central city Dallas women, so my perspective might be a bit skewed.
Some Dallas women can have a bit of an attitude problem. I don't know how much each individual woman can be blamed for it, when there is a surplus of men in the city in the 20s/30s age bracket. It's even worse if a woman dives deeply into dating apps, where the male surplus is even more pronounced. A woman here, especially if she's white, can be quite fussy given that she can have a queue of hundreds of men on a dating app wanting her, and she's being approached all time in person. In the last few years, I've noticed women starting to wear earbuds to the grocery store to reduce the number of approaches that she has to field. Due to the fact that most women are hotly pursued here, most women do not need to do much in the way of self-development in order to attract men. A poor attitude is not really punished. Even with a poor attitude, a woman has no shortage of male attention. She won't usually even have that difficult of a time getting a short to medium term commitment.
As far as physical fitness and appearances go, the best looking and fittest women live in central city neighborhoods. These women tend to be either single and unattached, or more commonly in short to medium term relationships. No one has yet to put a ring on it. Therefore, they have incentive to stay fit because they want to either get the ring or they want to be prepared for the occasion that they'll be back on the market at some point again.
Once an engagement or marriage happens, the typical Dallas migratory pattern kicks in. Here's how that works: man and woman are single and unattached. They live in Uptown, Lower Greenville, Knox-Henderson, or some other central city neighborhood. Man and woman develop a longer term relationship and still live in the city, maybe they move in together in a central city apartment. Once an engagement happens, they decamp for the suburbs, possibly get a dog if they don't already have them, and they become more inwardly focused. Kids come then, and then it is child-centricity for a while. In ~40% of cases if it is a first marriage for both, there's a divorce, and then a single mom is back on the market.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katana49
It's been said elsewhere in the thread years ago, but Dallas women have a reputation of being "put together." They make an effort into their appearance whether they are just going to the store or going nowhere at all.
Women who grew up here have that ingrained in them... I watched my mother put on makeup, jewelry, etc, every time she left the house. Those women with daughters, I see the practice is still alive and well with them too, as I see moms shopping at the grocery store but still looking done up, or even getting done up to go to the gym.
Women who are my age grew up making the effort, and you can still see that going on with long time residents. I would say it's become somewhat less common with all the transplants coming in, but eventually, a lot of them start doing it too when they realize they are standing out whether they are at the grocery store or going to a PTA meeting and everyone else is wearing makeup and jewelry and could just as easily go out on the town on a whim without having to go home to change or get ready.
I've not seen this much in my 8 years here. I've been out to grocery stores plenty of times in central city neighborhoods and haven't noticed women tremendously put together. I think the effects of the male surplus and transplants coming in have changed the idea. The grocery store has been one of the places that I've done approaches here, and I recall few instances of seeing women in dresses and high heels at the grocery store. When I have been at a point in my life where I've needed to do grocery store approaches, I have usually been more put together than most of the women I've seen at the grocery store.
There is one central city gym that has a reputation for having done up women. That gym is near the Uptown/Highland Park border and I have not been a member there. That gym's clientele is a mixture of Uptown/Downtown professional women, Highland Park/University Park wives, and Highland Park/University Park divorced women getting nice alimony payments. Perhaps my perspective would be different if I were a member at that gym.
Jaysan89, based on your history of posts, I would have to assume the problem is you; not Dallas women. You seem to have a very negative perspective of DFW and seem quite miserable here. Women aren't attracted to men with bad attitudes and will catch on to that.
Also, when you insult the woman population as a whole in DFW, that makes me believe that you don't respect the women here. The women you meet probably get that vibe and therefore, are immediately turned off by you.
Simply, women like men who are confident and you do not exude confidence.
I suggest changing your attitude, working on your self-esteem, and be patient and respectful towards women. If you still find yourself miserable, you may want to move elsewhere.
Your assessment is correct. In addition to seeming to lack a strong understanding of the fundamentals of the mating marketplace at this time, he also does display a negative attitude. That's not a good combination.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysan89
I don't date Indians. I can date who I want.
Your statement would be similar to me making the following statement....
I don't date regular women and I'm only going to date Victoria's Secret runway models.
That's probably not going to work out too well for me.
Yes, we have the freedom of choice to attempt to date who we want to, but there comes a certain point where many of us have to realistically assess where the overlap lies between who we want to date and who wants to date us.
From a practical standpoint, it is easier for most people to date within their own race/ethnicity than outside of it. Your unwillingness to date within your own race/ethnicity is just one component of your overall toxic attitude, which has been expressed through numerous posts on this board.
You have a lot of self-improvement work to do and it won't be easy.
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