My dilemma....what would you do?

[hsw]

HP is a no-brainer choice

Most of residents of any wealthy suburb of any major US city (or senior executive suite of any major tech co. or investment bank or hedge fund) are a motley crew of Jews, Indians or random white dudes (most of whom aren't old-money WASPs from Greenwich)....and, even in NYC or Greenwich, the wealthy WASP vs wealthy Jew schism remains amusing but still lives

HP is no worse/better than Winnetka or Greenwich or Woodside in silly social engineering "diversity"

And most of Indians up in Richardson, etc tend to be a less-educated set who are rather culturally/socio-economically different from Stanford-educated Indian engineers in Silicon Valley...or Wharton-educated Indians who work at a Dallas (or NYC) hedge fund

[Lakewooder]

The social pressure in HP/UP is very real - don't let anyone tell you it's not.

If you prefer something more laid-back, choose Lake Highlands or Lakewood, where you can send your kids to public schools and won't have to worry about 'playing the game' or being accepted. Lake Highlands is more middle and upper middle class mixed in with poor people in apartments whereas Lakewood has wealthy, upper-middle, middle and the lower classes - some are in apartments but the majority own their own homes in the Mount Auburn area. I say 'lower classes' on this board but most of us don't really talk like that in Lakewoood - that would be considered offensive to say that...

Here's the info for Lakewood Early Childhood PTA - Lakewood Early Childhood PTA in Dallas, TX - it's an incredible organization which has been in existence for nearly 60 years. And it's fun.

[lh_newbie]

Originally Posted by Lakewooder

The social pressure in HP/UP is very real - don't let anyone tell you it's not.

If you prefer something more laid-back, choose Lake Highlands or Lakewood, where you can send your kids to public schools and won't have to worry about 'playing the game' or being accepted. Lake Highlands is more middle and upper middle class mixed in with poor people in apartments whereas Lakewood has wealthy, upper-middle, middle and the lower classes - some are in apartments but the majority own their own homes in the Mount Auburn area. I say 'lower classes' on this board but most of us don't really talk like that in Lakewoood - that would be considered offensive to say that...

Here's the info for Lakewood Early Childhood PTA - Lakewood Early Childhood PTA in Dallas, TX - it's an incredible organization which has been in existence for nearly 60 years. And it's fun.

Totally agree with what lakewooder is saying. And just for the record, he's referring to socio-economic class.

[Lakewooder]

I always knew Brian was a smart guy -- incidentally, the above-metioned Wilshire Baptist pre-school is located in the northern part of Lakewood but its membership is about half Lake Highlands.

* I grew up in that church - it's a moderate Baptist church, got kicked out of the conference for having female deacons.

[loves2read]

age for public schools has a cut-off date of Sept 1--
IF your child is 5 by any day in the year including Sept 1 then s/he can enter Kindergarten in August before that Sept
BUT if your child is 5 on Sept 2 or any day after in that year--then s/he must wait for the next year's class to enroll in Kindergarten...
some people find that useful because they will actually hold children back a year so that children (boys usually) will be year older/bigger for the football/sports years...

[desibear]

Hello all, OP here again. Not to sound like a broken record, but thanks again for all your input. It has been invaluable in wrestling with some tough decisions, so please know that you have helped at least 1 family directly on C-D via your input. I've again tried to spread the love but, alas, C-D won't let me do it as often as I'd like for some of the posters.

I had intentionally taken a break from this thread to pull up for a few days and thoughtfully consider everyone's input. There is a whole list of pros/cons I can bore you with for the different options, but the highlights are this:

- I need to spend some time on the ground scouting out some of the neighborhoods mentioned
- Since pre-K is private anyway, and not all pre-Ks cost $10K, then there is no need for me to rush into a public school district (aka the HP option)
- That said, I do need to start researching pre-Ks and make some appointments before I land sometime next month for a scouting trip, so that I have things lined up and can leverage my time on the ground the most. I suspect getting into a pre-K will be a challenge this late in the year but that cannot be helped
- State/Thomas is back on the map!! Coming from extremely urban envrionment even within downtown Chicago (I live right on the mag-mile if you have been to Chicago), I cannot yet fathom the idea of a suburb, even if it is HP or equivalent. So my wife and I are ecstatic that there is some urban-ness in Dallas and that we can enjoy that for a couple years before "putting our roots down" in a suburb. A couple of posters have volunteered that I can PM them for more info, which is very generous of them and something I will take them up on.

Thinking ahead, with 2 kids and 2 working parents, a live-in/live-out nanny will likely enter the equation in 6 months or so. Perhaps that warrants a separate thread but I would like to continue in this one as all the context is here.

So, any thoughts regarding a nanny? Any other options to let both parents work, with one baby at home and one in pre-school? Nanny rates? Where to get them from? Anyone who actually has one or knows of a good one (starting sometime in Feb '10)? Any input into the live-in/live-out nannies? We have never had a nanny before, never needed one before, so a bit clueless in that regard.

Cheers

[loves2read]

we know someone whose granddaughter works as a nanny--she is SWF who has (I think) a learning disability which has made it impossible for her to make any progress in college--she has tried two or three times at local community college but can't get past the non-credit math class...
she is just 22 or 23 and has basically been doing this since high school--she works for a family that she met when she was working in day care situation --they hired her to take care of their two children who were both pre-school/infant when she started--has been with them for 3 or 4 yrs now and kids are older--
she has her car and can drive the kids for play dates and such--
she does not live in although she has stayed at their house when they have been out of town I think

my daughter when she was in high school and college worked in summer for our dentist as nanny for his two children--I have no qualms in saying you would be lucky to get someone as good with children and responsible as she was--

I know that some people confuse nanny with housekeeper/maid and expect the person watching the children to do both jobs--be a full time nanny/child care and also do everything a maid would be doing without getting any extra pay...

you should really examine what you want the person watching your children to do--and also be prepared to screen carefully--and I would even suggest using hidden cameras--some of the things I have seen on those weird tv shows show pretty dangerous, irresponsible behavior on part of people entrusted with children...
also be very careful about their driving ability/temprament--
the granddaughter I mentioned initially who is a nanny has had several driving accidents and wrecked at least one car--frankly I would not want her to be driving my children--but she is very sweet girl in other regards....

frankly you might get lucky and be able to share a nanny with someone close
there maybe elementary ed teachers who can't get teaching job looking for work as nanny--but that would not be cheap

[debtex]

We have a nanny, I used a service to find her, as I did in our last city. I do that for a couple of reasons - they prescreen them, you interview fewer people and they're all qualified, and in the end, this is your kids we're talking about...this isn't the time to skimp. Here we used Park Cities Staffing, they were GREAT, I think I would have been very happy with any of the candidates we saw. We love our nanny!!!

For a really qualified nanny you should expect to pay $15+ per hour, and you should expect they will want full-time work. If you get one that speaks Spanish you'll find your kids have more play dates, as most of the nannies are Spanish-speaking. (Also, then your kids can get a jump start on their Spanish!) Finally, you need to set all the ground rules - where they can go, what the kids eat, when they nap, etc. Be very clear in writing up front, that's best for everyone...including time off and sick days.

Welcome to Dallas, hope you enjoy it! PM me if you need any info on the nanny stuff, I'm happy to share.