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Old 06-10-2011, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Denver
339 posts, read 1,235,386 times
Reputation: 218

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SheridanL View Post
The OP seems to be making very negative statements about the Latinos in Denver having a preference that does not include HER race.. (even though she went out with one that told her Twice what they were after). Takes two as far as I know.
In the OP's post, the OP said that they "would not SETTLE on marrying a White or Black just because that's the ONLY thing out there"!!
The OP just stated their preference, VERY loudly I might add, ..the very thing they say they are angry about with Denvers Latinos!!!!!
If I were to listen to this OP's prejudice comments about who Latinos should like or NOT like (as a potential date)....I'd turn and run too and I'm sure,....I wouldn't be expecting too many future dates OR friends!! Just saying!!
No, my statements are not negative but factual. Take it as you wish but I'm just speaking from what I've noticed.

Yes I was silly to even see that guy who made that stupid comment about, "I mainly like Latinos but been "hooking up" with Blacks lately." So that's all that a Black person is good for to you, a ****ing hookup?

OK, let's settle this whole preference thing. Preference is fine but there's a difference between a preference that has been driven by what they've seen and a preference that's just naturally there.

And you know what? If people have a preference that includes not being attracted to Black people, then what the **** am I doing living here? I don't want to be in a city where my options are so limited.

Like, don't get me wrong since I been here I have met Black guys, Hispanic guys, White guys...and they find me attractive and vice versa. But my issue is there seems to be a lack of mass appeal. It's like out of 100 White/Hispanic guys I come across, only 2 or 3 is going to actually come up to me, get my number, and try to take me out on a date.

That's an exaggerated number but judging from the replies I get from men here online and at the bars, it seems like I really don't have much to choose from living here. I'm trying...I'm putting myself out there and even initiating getting to know people but there's a level of resistance here that I didn't always have to deal with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DenverLawGal View Post
P.S. - I'm half black and half white, light skinned (I call myself brown). I'm married now but I do remember back in the day, when I attracted all types of men!
And where were you living? BTW, I am not half-Black half White. People like yourself tend to pass for being more Hispanic than someone who is even 25% of that. I had a friend who was half Black/half White and he looked more Hispanic than I was and rightfully felt he was and he was even racist toward Black people and stuck around with only Hispanics. So your statement can not pertain to me. It's invalid. Void.

Now, don't get me wrong I do attract all sorts of men as well. But if you pay attention to my post's topic I said dating. There's a difference in just the occasional attraction and furthering something deeper.

And I find in Denver many people seem reluctant to do that with someone other than the majority White/Hispanic that resides here. Maybe someone can argue differently but I come from a place where the topic was not even an issue at one point in time.

People always like to just give the generic 'preference' excuse but I believe in digging deeper to find out what's that all about. And having hung around enough people of different backgrounds I know that it's not as simple as that. People in this country been raised to think it's okay to be prejudice against people. No it doesn't need to resort to name calling to be prejudice...but just the simple preconceived notions.

I don't know if it's just the general mentality of Coloradans in general or what, but many of these White and Hispanic people act like they scared to talk to me or something. In Florida I used to had to run away from people to stop talking to me but here they seem so shy and reserved. It's like, yes I'm Black but I'm not a monster, chill the **** out and get to know me some. Say hello. Don't wait for me to do it.

Last edited by CruisingUSA; 06-10-2011 at 02:18 PM..
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Old 06-10-2011, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,530 posts, read 9,330,660 times
Reputation: 844
okayyy. I'll attempt a response.

I first lived downtown for a year or so, then lived in the Cap. Hill area for about 10 years, then moved a little bit more south to the Wash Park area.

I know you are not half black, half white. That was my statement to you. [Frankly I don't really care what race you are at this point as your shining personality is really showing through and obviously my patience is about up ]

Have you seen me before? If not, then I do believe you cannot assess what I "pass" for. I can't imagine rightfully thinking I'm Hispanic, as I'm um, not. I find your friend strange for thinking that way. Saying my statement is invalid is quite frankly pretty rude and immature on your part. This is a public forum, you chose to post your rant/questions, and me amongst others unfortunately, and probably a little stupidly, chose to respond.

By "attracting" I meant to insinuate dating as well. And at one point during your posts you do mention "attracting".

If you come from a place where this topic is not at issue then I suggest you get there pronto - it seems to fit your bill.

I also think that if you are honestly trying to dig "deeper" into the racial and social issues you discuss, you would also consider digging deeper into yourself, including your race. Because boy I can tell you, as you get older, things like personality and honesty and loyalty mean a heck of a lot more in relationships than something so trivial as race.

I might add, the negativity, cussing, beligerance and slurs that I feel inherant in your posts would definitely have me running from you if we were to meet in person.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CruisingUSA View Post
And where were you living? BTW, I am not half-Black half White. People like yourself tend to pass for being more Hispanic than someone who is even 25% of that. I had a friend who was half Black/half White and he looked more Hispanic than I was and rightfully felt he was and he was even racist toward Black people and stuck around with only Hispanics. So your statement can not pertain to me. It's invalid. Void.

Now, don't get me wrong I do attract all sorts of men as well. But if you pay attention to my post's topic I said dating. There's a difference in just the occasional attraction and furthering something deeper.

And I find in Denver many people seem reluctant to do that with someone other than the majority White/Hispanic that resides here. Maybe someone can argue differently but I come from a place where the topic was not even an issue at one point in time.

People always like to just give the generic 'preference' excuse but I believe in digging deeper to find out what's that all about. And having hung around enough people of different backgrounds I know that it's not as simple as that. People in this country been raised to think it's okay to be prejudice against people. No it doesn't need to resort to name calling to be prejudice...but just the simple preconceived notions.

I don't know if it's just the general mentality of Coloradans in general or what, but many of these White and Hispanic people act like they scared to talk to me or something. In Florida I used to had to run away from people to stop talking to me but here they seem so shy and reserved. It's like, yes I'm Black but I'm not a monster, chill the **** out and get to know me some. Say hello. Don't wait for me to do it.
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Old 06-10-2011, 09:32 PM
 
152 posts, read 377,985 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by CruisingUSA View Post
So I been living here for about 6 months now, but actually this month is going to make it my 1st year since I first visited here.

One thing I am noticing that is really bugging me as a single Black person here is that my options seem limited to mostly White and Black guys. And although not to try to say I'm better than, or alienate dark skin African Americans; but I'm not even 'Black, Black.' I'm light complexion, a bit mixed but have Black features. In places like New York, I would have NO problem attracting a Latino guy to me because of my complexion. Like, I don't have an issue with finding someone attractive of other backgrounds and someone can argue or tell lots of stories about their friend who's Black who married a Latino guy etc. but I'm just finding it too hard here. I grew up in Florida most of my life and didn't have this much issue. I almost feel I am unattractive here when it comes to meeting someone Latino.

When I 1st visited here last year, I met 2 Latino guys who I really clicked with and although it didn't turn into anything long term I was hoping that maybe I'd be able to continue to date similar and not have too much of a hard time. But since I been here I have not met many at all, close to none. The ones I have met hung out for a bit but it never went further than conversation. One dated me for like a 'hookup' and he even told me twice, "I mostly prefer other Latinos but been hooking up with Blacks lately."

I'm thinking to myself, this is some bull****. If I can't date whom I prefer to date then I'm just going to move. I dated Puerto Rican guys for years before I came out here and now the flow is interrupted and I just feel ugly here. Every since I've moved here I've felt disadvantaged in the dating scene like I'm so ugly Black person and I didn't used to feel that way until I moved out here. I'm thinking about going to Phoenix and checking things out here but after having lived in Texas I'm almost convinced that this whole former Mexico side of the country just isn't meant for Black people that want to date Latinos (unless you're like in San Antonio or El Paso which is somewhat an exception). It's just a waste of time and I'm not going to settle for marrying a White or Black guy just because that's all I can get out here.

So question: Any Black people out here know what I'm talking about? Latino people can you give some input? Anyone have friends who complained about this? Also...would you recommend other cities in the west as I do like the general scenery and west 'vibe' and want to 'try' to stay here. Would you say California or Phoenix with a bit higher population of attractive Black people would be a better option for me? I've also spent time in Albuquerque, NM and think things might have even been easier there. Or is it possible in Denver but I just have to grow a thick skin and adjust to all the rejection I've received from the Latino people out here when I try to initiate a date (because they damn sure don't initiate ****)?
What is your obsession with Latinos? You posted this thread //www.city-data.com/forum/denve...l#post16268435 not all that long ago! If some Latinos aren't into you, they just aren't. Hispanic/black relationships are much different in the West than in the East.

I would stop cruising the country looking for a city where Hispanic men swoon over you, and just keep trying where you are!
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Old 06-10-2011, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Denver
339 posts, read 1,235,386 times
Reputation: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by DenverLawGal View Post
okayyy. I'll attempt a response.

I first lived downtown for a year or so, then lived in the Cap. Hill area for about 10 years, then moved a little bit more south to the Wash Park area.

I know you are not half black, half white. That was my statement to you. [Frankly I don't really care what race you are at this point as your shining personality is really showing through and obviously my patience is about up ]

Have you seen me before? If not, then I do believe you cannot assess what I "pass" for. I can't imagine rightfully thinking I'm Hispanic, as I'm um, not. I find your friend strange for thinking that way. Saying my statement is invalid is quite frankly pretty rude and immature on your part. This is a public forum, you chose to post your rant/questions, and me amongst others unfortunately, and probably a little stupidly, chose to respond.

By "attracting" I meant to insinuate dating as well. And at one point during your posts you do mention "attracting".

If you come from a place where this topic is not at issue then I suggest you get there pronto - it seems to fit your bill.

I also think that if you are honestly trying to dig "deeper" into the racial and social issues you discuss, you would also consider digging deeper into yourself, including your race. Because boy I can tell you, as you get older, things like personality and honesty and loyalty mean a heck of a lot more in relationships than something so trivial as race.

I might add, the negativity, cussing, beligerance and slurs that I feel inherant in your posts would definitely have me running from you if we were to meet in person.
Well I don't mean to come off that way and I'm not really that way in person...only because I have trained myself not to act out how I feel. But I do mention it and I do bring it up. And when I do, people tend to be more upfront about it than you'd think. Some people will outright say it, "I don't like Black people." or "I don't really find (insert race) attractive. People will tell you how they feel, and I measure it as a barometer of just how stupid they actually are. But in America, and in Mexico (which is basically what half of the U.S. is, it's Mexico) people have been trained to be stupid. Europeans are not like that, only in America.

I have dug deeper into myself plenty of times and part of it is writing up something like this, and then going out into the real world and then coming back to see if what I'm feeling is real or just me?

Trust me I question myself plenty of times and sometimes I do wonder if maybe it's just me. And you know, sometimes I may not be doing everything that I should to reach out to people and that I am working on.

I've actually initiated conversation with several guys this past week. But the amount of acknowledgement I'm picking up still seems sub-par. I'm stilling feeling a level of automatic dismal from some people here because they think just because all they've ever grown up around is pale faces and *******s. And they feel that there is nothing in common with a ****** so they don't even put in the effort to get to know someone who happens to be one.

I don't have to deal with this ****. I don't have to deal with being 3rd place, I don't have to deal with limited options and I don't need to be dismissed because of who I happen to be. I can get the **** out here I don't have to be like this. I was happier back home in Florida and although I will not move back there, I do know it was easier to mingle among the 3 race groups than it ever is here.
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Old 06-10-2011, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Aurora
357 posts, read 1,233,842 times
Reputation: 283
colorado works for people who are used to colorado. you do have to switch your thinking and adapt to be here. Like I said, I'd hate dating here. to me, i just couldn't do it. my choices are just too restricted. That said, it's not just colorado, but there are several states where I'd hate to be a single black person trying to date. I think the black community is different here, as well as the latino community. they have their own history of interaction (or not). you're a newcomer and you have to deal with that history. it may not be about you, but about all of that. sadly, that may be just the way it is. I wish you luck.
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:02 AM
 
Location: Denver
339 posts, read 1,235,386 times
Reputation: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaCACO View Post
colorado works for people who are used to colorado. you do have to switch your thinking and adapt to be here. Like I said, I'd hate dating here. to me, i just couldn't do it. my choices are just too restricted. That said, it's not just colorado, but there are several states where I'd hate to be a single black person trying to date. I think the black community is different here, as well as the latino community. they have their own history of interaction (or not). you're a newcomer and you have to deal with that history. it may not be about you, but about all of that. sadly, that may be just the way it is. I wish you luck.
Well I'm glad you are able to agree and relate to me

I guess if you're not used to Colorado it'll be tough going. Most of the sane people I meet out here anyway were shipped here for job reasons. No person in their right mind would move to a city that's so isolated from the rest of the country unless it was for money.

Although I like my job and Denver does work for me and I'm happy with where I live...I am finding myself becoming depressed living here. I initially came here with a good attitude, happy positive thoughts but thru meeting people here they have truly ****ed that up for me with their ignorance. It's like, if it's "JUST ME" like so many people very irritatingly say to me...then why do I feel this way? Would you think maybe there's something about this place that's made me feel the way I do?

I want to be able to be happy with my job and personal life. Maybe it'll pass...but from what I see I'm just not sure I want to take the risk of staying here past the end of my lease in July and risk being unhappy for another 6 months. I mean, if I know I can make money somewhere else I can't see the point of trying to make things work here.
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Old 06-11-2011, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,786 posts, read 28,174,396 times
Reputation: 14198
I'm a straight, white/Latino male.

I never dated an African-American woman. Not because I didn't want to, but because I never got the opportunity to. I almost asked one to prom in HS (I chickened out -- afraid of rejection ldo), and in my younger/naughtier days, I got lap dances from some.

I didn't choose the race of the women I dated, whoever I dated was just based on mutual wavelength or whatever. When I was single, I was up for dating anybody I found attractive.

I'm married now, I've been with the same woman since I was 21 (27 now). She's white but that's unimportant.

Cruising, you'll find what you want eventually. I don't think it's geography, or culture. You just got to find the people that are into you for you, not anything else. I found my woman in a town where I didn't fit in, a town I hated with a passion. Just live your life and let the chips fall.

Enjoy the ride.
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Old 06-11-2011, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Aurora
357 posts, read 1,233,842 times
Reputation: 283
to be frank, colorado can be weird to a black person coming from another state. (I'm going to generalize here big time) the black folk here are different from the ones in CA. White folk too. I don't feel I've met enough latinos to generalize, but I suspect the same is true. don't get me wrong, I like colorado, but it's just different. it has some strong positives but often I just wonder "wtf?" Still I go with it because I've moved here and I think it's better in more ways than not for my family. I have met blacks who have decided to leave (or who have left) because it just wasn't for them, namely there wasn't a critical mass of black professionals here or they couldn't adjust to some of the ignorance here (note I say ignorance, not racism, which is everywhere. That ignorance is mostly due to the lack of critical mass, so the cycle continues.) Anyway, hopefully you'll try it out here, see if you change your mind about the city. give it a chance-it might be for you after all.
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Old 06-11-2011, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Canon City, Colorado
1,331 posts, read 4,864,757 times
Reputation: 689
So what you are saying is,....the White, Black and probably Latinos in Colorado are, different and ignorant?!! And YOU say WTF??? Sheesh!!
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Denver
339 posts, read 1,235,386 times
Reputation: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Aguilar View Post
I'm a straight, white/Latino male.

I never dated an African-American woman. Not because I didn't want to, but because I never got the opportunity to. I almost asked one to prom in HS (I chickened out -- afraid of rejection ldo), and in my younger/naughtier days, I got lap dances from some.

I didn't choose the race of the women I dated, whoever I dated was just based on mutual wavelength or whatever. When I was single, I was up for dating anybody I found attractive.

I'm married now, I've been with the same woman since I was 21 (27 now). She's white but that's unimportant.
Well thanks for your input but I feel this is the general rundown of how things go out here: Guy sees Black, non-Hispanic/White girl (or guy depending on sexual preference) who is attractive but puts no effort to speak to her/him. And then ends up going out with a White/Hispanic girl/guy.

It's so typical in this country, namely this part. I see it all the time. It's happened to me.

Don't say you never got the opportunity to, you never took the initiative to do so. Like for me, if I want to date a guy of (insert race) I'm going to take the initiative and find whatever opportunity is available even if it means moving to another state.

You say you never dated a Black woman but then you say you were open to dating anyone based on mutual wavelength or attraction. And then you married a White girl.

This really didn't help me feel any better. It's still a clear cut example of favoritism. People do it unconsciously and don't even know they are doing it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SheridanL View Post
So what you are saying is,....the White, Black and probably Latinos in Colorado are, different and ignorant?!! And YOU say WTF??? Sheesh!!
When you are on the subject of race, yes they are. Sorry to break it to ya. Actually Lisa broke it to ya but I mean that's the way it is!

If it wasn't the way it is then it wouldn't be a topic of discussion. I appreciate the few people out here who are not ignorant, but en masse it's plain to see just how narrow people are.
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