Quote:
Originally Posted by new-to-CO
Ok, so you say no criticisms, advice or opinions, but this is an online forum after all. But I just have to give my quick 2 cents because it really boils my blood to read something like this.
I remember my ex's friend had a Border Collie & it carried those same characteristics---if you knew what their personality was, why did you get that kind of breed in the first place?
I know dogs are much harder to deal with--I wouldn't know, I just have a cat---but to read things like "I don't want to have her forever" "I want to be done with the situation" & "can't wait to get rid of her so I can have other animals" just sounds horrible!!! Pets are not PROPERTY, they are a commitment & a responsibility. I hope you can find someone out there that will take her into their homes & hearts. Good luck.
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I'm going to try to be as nice and polite about this
as I possibly can, but I am both sorry and angry
that you have so TOTALLY misunderstood my post!
(I did not start this topic looking for a debate, so
I will try not to let you start one, but frankly, you
did worse than what I was asking people not to do,
you basically flamed me, and because you simply
misunderstood the entire intention of my post.
Such behavior is not appropriate, and I think is
even against the rules of this website. I don't want
to break the rules, so I will not flame you in return,
but please don't continue to act like that unless you'd
like to be reported to the website's administrators.)
(To anyone who thinks that my first post in this thread
suggested that I was mean, irresponsible, etc.:
You completely misunderstood my entire post.
Please don't waste your time replying to it.
Just post somewhere else instead. Thanks.)
(By the way: I was talking about the personality
of THIS DOG. It is NOT "their personality" [of the
entire breed]. I already knew very well that some
border collies are much better behaved, better natured,
etc., than some others. What I did not know for sure
was how to accurately and infallibly assess the individual
personality of a tiny puppy. I did NOT know HER personality,
and would not have gotten her if I had known what her specific
personality was like. You are making overgeneralizations about
the entire breed. I already knew better back then than to do that.
What I did not know was how to tell for sure what each little puppy's
personality was like. I know more about that now than I did then, but
NO ONE knows ALL about that! [And speaking of questions, I have one
for you, new-to-CO: If you "wouldn't know", then why are you, everywhere
else in your post, apparently claiming that you DO know??? I would and do
know more about some of these things than you do. Please don't judge a
situation which you know not of, have little or no experience with, etc. Thanks.])
There is nothing at all wrong with the statement "I don't want to keep her forever."
You imply that all kind people who have dogs WANT to keep EVERY dog FOREVER
and that anything else is cruel/horrible/etc. That is completely inaccurate.
Wanting to keep a dog forever does not come only from kindness, it comes
from being genuinely happy with the dog. If you find that you do not truly
want with your whole heart to keep a dog forever, looking for a new home for the
dog is the kindest possible thing to do. Truly kind people, and truly understanding
people, have no reason to object to that. I do, as I will explain, have a right to want
to be done with the SITUATION which the dog and I are both in. It is a bad SITUATION.
And I NEVER said "can't wait to get rid of". You read that in yourself, assumed that it
must be what I meant, etc. I didn't post a cruel post. You posted a cruel and unthinking
reply. (And saying that isn't flaming you...because it's no more than pointing out what
you did. You weren't being shocked by someone's cruelty...you just plain misinterpreted
...you mistook a kind person for a cruel person, and apparently didn't even stop to think
about WHAT the situation in question might be, before you flamed the person. That's
inappropriate. I don't mean to be rude in return, but you didn't just criticize, you
flamed...and you did it because you didn't understand what had been posted.)
(I'm sorry, but if you can speak frankly then so can I: It boils MY blood to read
what YOU wrote, and to know that you could assume such terrible things...
you didn't even know the situation at all anyway!) (If you thought that some
stupid, unreasonable person posted some senseless, horrible things, then you
just plain didn't understand what you had read. Sorry that you THOUGHT that
you had read such horrible things...but I don't think that your interpretation
was really my fault.)
Okay, first of all: Excuse me, I did NOT behave or
speak/write as though the dog were PROPERTY.
A dog is an animal, not property (although in some
cases laws do not always agree with that assessment).
HAVING one is a commitment and a responsibility.
That is why I am looking for a committed and responsible
home. This dog and I are not best suited to each other,
and that we spend our lives together is not appropriate
for either of us, but if I cannot find another home for her,
I will keep her. I am intensely committed to giving her
the best life which is available to her, and if that is with
me, so be it, but I believe that somewhere out there is
someone who would actually ENJOY having her be their
dog forever! (Also, no, dogs sure are NOT NECESSARILY
"much harder to deal with" than cats. They are just different.
They tend to be somewhat harder but it's not really that big
of a deal, if you like them. I don't have trouble having a dog.
I do have important reasons for wanting a different, more
suitable-for-me dog. Frankly, if you don't/can't/won't understand,
then that makes the whole thing probably not really your
business. Thanks, but no thanks, for putting in your two
cents...yes, it's a forum BUT that means DISCUSS, not just
unthinkingly flame [I'm sure you thought, but apparently
not about what I was or might be really saying!].)
Second of all: What I am particularly looking to FINALLY be
DONE with is the, excuse me, d--- rehoming process. I am
sick of taking flack from people who don't understand
the situation, sick of having people claim that they are
"very interested" in the dog and then their interest only
lasts one day, etc. I would actually probably rather keep
a dog who I don't wholeheartedly want than go through
what I have gone through with the rehoming process,
but it is important to do the rehoming process, so I am doing it.
(Those who don't agree with/believe/understand that statement
...it would be kindest if they'd simply keep their opinions
to themselves. I don't want to start a war. I wouldn't have
started this thread at all if I'd expected that kind of response.
Maybe I was wrong in thinking that most people at this
site don't act like that...but I hope I wasn't wrong!)
(Excuse me, I am NOT looking to suddenly "get rid of"
the dog for no apparent reason...I have been trying to
rehome her for a fairly long time, and I want to be DONE
with all that and go on with my life. I was in much less of
a hurry a year ago. If anyone wants to genuinely help, and
especially if they truly believe that if THEY had her THEY
WOULDN'T end up feeling stuck with her and/or stuck with
a long and painstaking rehoming process, please feel free to
contact me about getting her. I don't want to hear garbage
about how dare I not want her, from people who don't want
her either, nor, frankly, do I want to give her to someone
who can't be bothered to speak/write respectfully.
Sorry to be blunt, but there it is. I was being honest,
not horrible, not cruel, honest. At this point, I regret
having bothered to do that at this site. Anyone out
there who thinks that they can stop my regret and
actually help with the situation, by getting the dog,
because they actually do [or at least think that they
would] want her, please, feel free to contact me.
All others need not apply/respond/etc.!)
(I am very much in a position to have a RIGHT
to say, I just want this to be done and move on.
To criticize that...is inappropriate, unkind, not
bothering to carefully examine the situation, etc.)
(If someone else said that they just wanted to be
done and move on, I'd never criticize them for that,
unless they said, "Just put a gun in my hand so I can
shoot the d--- thing", or something similar. People
who mistake honesty for cruelty don't really even
understand why I posted in the first place, and if
they reply to this thread at all, they will probably
be wasting their time. Of course it's not all about
my convenience or anything like that. But I do have
a right to a life too, a life of my own and of my choosing.
I DID choose to get a border collie, and I expect to choose
to get one again. That the dog I currently have is a border
collie, that is NOT the main reason for her problems. She
does NOT have her problems so badly that she cannot be
a good pet, BUT she does have her problems. That she is
about as well-behaved as most dogs...well, to be even
more honest, really why I said/wrote THAT is because
there are many dogs in the world, most of them not border
collies as far as I know, who behave far worse than she
has ever done. There are dogs who are holy terrors, and
who, unbelievable though it may seem to some of us,
actually have humans who enjoy living with them. So
there MUST be somebody out there who would enjoy
living with a dog who merely is not quite right in the
head, instead of being something much worse than that,
such as incredibly berserk/violent/etc. [talking of guard
dogs...some guard dogs are deliberately trained to be as
brutal as possible...which is suitable for some forms of
guarding but not for a family pet...anyway, I DON'T
have, and have never had, a dog who tries to act like
THAT type of guard dog...thank goodness! ^_~].)
Third of all: I am fine with the breed. I love the breed.
I would never get a dog of a breed which I didn't like.
I would and will be delighted to have a normal, healthy
border collie. At present, that's not who/what I have.
I spoke/wrote the truth when I said that she is about
as well-behaved as most dogs. However, she is NOT
physically or behaviorally as well as most dogs, nor
has she ever been. She has always been unusually
(probably abnormally) small and thin. When she was
a puppy she was very INactive, the least active puppy
I ever met in my entire life, which is VERY untypical
for the breed. (The vet that I took her to didn't even
notice that anything was wrong with her, except that
she was small for her age, but then again, he really
didn't know her, or see her for very long at a time.)
Unfortunately, she has various psychological obsessions.
She has had them for a long time. She never outgrew
them. She probably never will (she has been an adult
for a while now). I realized quite soon after I got her
that she was not a well dog and was, at that time, in
no condition to sell or give to anybody, but she was
already my dog, so I kept her and raised her. When
I realized that I was not likely ever to be really happy
with her, I decided that I would try to rehome her when
she was older and stronger and NEARLY physically normal.
She now is all of that, but she is also now not a puppy and
less likely to be popular with people because she is not a
baby any more. (However, many people have expressed
interest, but as yet none of them were simultaneously
able AND willing to ACTUALLY go ahead and get her!)
(And, NO, I am NOT complaining about normal, healthy
border collie characteristics. I understand that it sounds
as if I'm talking about that, but I'm not. Some border
collies, AND some dogs of many other breeds too, ARE
actually, clinically psychologically obsessed. I believe
that this dog is one of them. Why? Because if the dog
is just a normal, healthy border collie, generally it does
NOT behave as this dog does, ESPECIALLY not if it has
enough exercise, enough time with humans, etc. Yeah,
I KNOW that it SOUNDS AS IF I were talking about a
normal, healthy border collie who "just needs" more
exercise, more attention, etc., but I'm not...and frankly,
I already said so in my first post. I'm sorry if anyone
didn't understand. YES, border collies are famous, or
infamous, for certain undesirable behaviors. BUT some
of them hardly HAVE any of those behaviors, AND quite
a lot of them are not at all OBSESSED with the behaviors
[yes, I do speak from experience!]. They actually ARE NOT,
overall, a crazy/berserk/whatever breed. Maybe some of
them have a tendency to be easily psychologically damaged.
But a lot of border collies are actually among the sanest,
tamest, most easily trained dogs you'll ever meet...and
SOME of that sort of thing apparently tends to be genetic
in particular families. It is NOT just the breed OR just how
the dog is treated...and anyone who thinks that it is only that,
doesn't truly know border collies. Regrettably, many people
who have them, or know someone who has them, don't
know them. They know that some dogs of that breed tend
to do some strange things, and they apparently DON'T
know that, as with most breeds, there is a WIDE range
of behavior...from far more berserk than my dog, to not
berserk at all, that is the range of the border collie breed,
and is the range of almost every breed too...each breed
just does things a little differently. Anyone who doesn't
know that...I humbly request that you take the time to
inform yourself about it. There is no need at all for any
passing judgement or making generalizations or whatever.
A whole lot of people don't know the breed. Not JUST the
people who don't know that some border collies are strange...
the people who think that they're ALL or nearly all strange
REALLY don't know the breed...they know popular propaganda
about the bad examples...the fact is that it's NOT just the
breed...border collies who are berserk are like that for one
or the other of two main reasons: the particular dog just
happens to be genetically and/or otherwise inclined that
way, and/or, something about the dog's training and/or
environment led it to behave that way. The same is true
of most breeds. Border collies have unfortunately developed
a reputation for being unable, as a breed, the whole breed,
to happily do anything except herd sheep or something else
equally active/stimulating. That's a sad, sad misconception.
Some border collies are like that, from training or breeding
[breeding, not just THE BREED!] or both, but it is NOT
how the whole breed is. [I don't want to start a debate
here, really, BUT, if someone is spreading misinformation,
I do want to try to point out that there is better and/or
more accurate information available.])
I would never, ever, EVER rehome a dog simply
because it was a border collie. EVER. I love border
collies! Sadly, I bought the runt of a ten-puppy litter
for two hundred dollars. I should have known better.
Under many circumstances, the smallest/weakest
puppy really should just stay home longer and keep
nursing from the mother longer. I did not realize
that the dog I bought was not even ready to buy
or sell until after I had already bought her. She soon
turned out to have behavioral qualities which are, on
the surface, similar to those normal for the breed,
but which are not what I would think of as truly
normal for any breed. Frankly, she is a somewhat
strange dog, and certainly SOME dog lovers and
SOME border collie lovers, myself included, would
not be right for her. However, I have met and heard
of dogs who I personally wouldn't want (they were
not border collies, by the way!) who had happy, loving
homes. Bottom line: EVERYONE'S TASTE IS DIFFERENT.
If anyone who would LIKE to have this dog reads this ad,
please do respond. Otherwise...please keep your opinions
to yourself. I really mean it. I lovingly raised a dog who
was not even fit to sell when I bought her. I raised her
until she became, maybe not fit to SELL exactly, but
at least fit to rehome. She will never be exactly normal
but she is a lot closer to it than she used to be, and
some of that is probably due to my raising her. But
she is not the right dog FOR ME. (Frankly, if you don't
know how tough it can be to take on a dog who isn't
really okay, do your darn best to make her okay, come
CLOSE to succeeding but know that she will never be
fully normal but that you want her to have the best
possible life anyway, you don't know what I've been
through. For many reasons, I don't want to keep this
dog forever. She probably should have just stayed
permanently in the home that I got her from, but
it's probably been too late for a long time to send
her back there, and besides, they do have other dogs
[her parents], and as I mentioned, she is not so great
with other dogs.)
If you'd actually enjoy living with a dog who was born
physically and behaviorally not a normal dog, who has
made amazing improvements but will always have just
a few things about her body and mind that are still not
QUITE normal...if you'd love her and take care of her and
always want her, and she'd be your companion (not your
dog's companion, YOUR companion! ^_~) for life, or if
you know someone (an individual, not a society) who you
think might feel that way, then please do respond. If not,
then please don't. Thank you, everyone, for your time and
patience in reading this. Have a good, safe, special, loving,
caring, blessed, peaceful day or night, whichever it is for
you when you read this.
Take care and be blessed and all that other good stuff! ^_^
=^___^=
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