I'm here 10 months in and feel like I'm not fitting in "Bigly"? (Denver: unemployed, school)

[Dirty-Mill]

When I first moved here I had terrible luck finding single women. A few months back I decided that maybe my standards were too high... I lowered them and started getting more dates. At one point I found myself sitting across from an obese woman old enough to be my mother.

Maybe you just need to lower your standards?

[emm74]

"Less relaxed and angrier" is no way to go through life. Get going. Break your lease and move on with your life someplace where you want to be. I'm not trying to be harsh, but why waste another 8 months of your life living somewhere that's clearly not a good fit for you? Some of it is probably related to the job - obviously there were issues if you were just suddenly let go, so even if they weren't readily apparent, you were probably dealing with too much stress. But aside from that, this just doesn't seem to be your town, and that's fine, no location is for everyone.

[BarryK123]

FYI, the correct word for your title is "jibe." Jive is what Barbara Billingsley translated in the movie "Airplane."

[N610DL]

Originally Posted by emm74

"Less relaxed and angrier" is no way to go through life. Get going. Break your lease and move on with your life someplace where you want to be. I'm not trying to be harsh, but why waste another 8 months of your life living somewhere that's clearly not a good fit for you? Some of it is probably related to the job - obviously there were issues if you were just suddenly let go, so even if they weren't readily apparent, you were probably dealing with too much stress. But aside from that, this just doesn't seem to be your town, and that's fine, no location is for everyone.

I mean, I kind of think your response is on the harsher side with the "get going, break your lease" comment. Breaking my lease would cost me major $$$ and if you read through the comments, you'll see that 10 months isn't enough of a trial run. You have to REALLY hate a place to leave before a year is up - and I'm certainly not there yet.

And BTW based on the job advice you give out, isn't your claim a little hypocritical with 'not giving enough time 3/4 of a year into a reorg?' Wouldn't that also apply to starting fresh in a new city as well?

"Yes I understand that there is uncertainty during a reorg. But even without a reorg, I think your timing expectations are unreasonable - you haven't proven yourself to them to warrant trying to create a position/path for you. And it's not "almost" a year, since you've only been there 3/4 of a year, and this didn't happen until after you started. It takes time for things to sort out after a reorg."

For the record, I was let go 3/4 of a year into a reorg so your point is wrong anyway.

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by David Aguilar

Below, my story.

I'm nearing the 10 year mark (June 1, 2017, if you want to be exact), and feel like I've given it the old college try.

I'm from Southern CA originally. Haven't really looked back, and have no regrets.

My Denver experience has mostly been clouded by becoming upwardly mobile, and then becoming even more upwardly mobile once a plateau is reached. I've been chasing money, career, and now own a business.

Nonetheless, I've been here a pretty long time. I've made friends and enemies. Work has always come first for me too, but that's been the case anywhere I've lived (but it has taken a bigger % of life every minute I've lived here). I've been content here at different points, but never butterflies happy.

I lost 85 lbs from January 2012 to November 2013. My only digestive problem is putting close to 30 lbs of that back on since then. I'm 33 now, FWIW.

Very few people "get" my personality here, I don't think I'm overly sarcastic, but I can be pretty shy in certain situations. I don't get people here either. It's either blah blah Broncos or SuperYuppie. Or somewhere in between.

I still don't think Denver is overrated, and if it is, it's only a little. 5+ years ago, this place was a lot more real. Had more of an identity about it.

I have no business leaving Denver in any foreseeable future, but I daydream about it all the time. If the opportunity ever presented itself though, I could probably look back and forget I was ever here.

Eh, I lived in Denver for 9 months and the Front Range for 25 years. I was never a fan of any pro ball sports, nor a yuppie. Somehow, though, I enjoyed my time there. It helped to be a ceaseless devotee of mountain biking and hiking. No, you do not need to be a skier to love CO. In fact, I got rid of x-c skis and snowshoes because I was too busy biking and hiking instead.

Did I ever get sick of seeing huge Broncos decals plastered on cars, yeah. But it's THEIR car. You don't have to look at it more than is necessary for driving safely. Ditto the Broncos jerseys (sometimes worn as office attire), Broncos pennants, Broncos trinkets sold everywhere, and, especially, the commemorative orange-and-blue cupcakes, pasta, candies, donuts, and gawd knows what else that got a heavy dose of food coloring. All that orange and blue food got to be a source of amusement, briefly.

I saw a giant SUV that had been painted in Broncos orange and blue. The whole thing. Even the dark windows were covered by gigantic Broncos decals.

Let's not neglect the Rockies and Avs kitsch, too. But it's nothing unusual. Ever been to Calgary during hockey season? Puget Sound in the grip of Seahawks mania?

Come to think of it, there was an unexpected benefit to so many people being glued to TV sets. That turned out to be prime quiet time to hike or bike at what normally would be crowded places! We started scheduling outings around those times, LOL. As a bonus, the people we encountered then inevitably valued the peaceful trails and waters as much as we did, and darn near everybody was glad to see kindred souls.

[Count David]

Originally Posted by pikabike

Eh, I lived in Denver for 9 months and the Front Range for 25 years. I was never a fan of any pro ball sports, nor a yuppie. Somehow, though, I enjoyed my time there. It helped to be a ceaseless devotee of mountain biking and hiking. No, you do not need to be a skier to love CO. In fact, I got rid of x-c skis and snowshoes because I was too busy biking and hiking instead.

Did I ever get sick of seeing huge Broncos decals plastered on cars, yeah. But it's THEIR car. You don't have to look at it more than is necessary for driving safely. Ditto the Broncos jerseys (sometimes worn as office attire), Broncos pennants, Broncos trinkets sold everywhere, and, especially, the commemorative orange-and-blue cupcakes, pasta, candies, donuts, and gawd knows what else that got a heavy dose of food coloring. All that orange and blue food got to be a source of amusement, briefly.

I saw a giant SUV that had been painted in Broncos orange and blue. The whole thing. Even the dark windows were covered by gigantic Broncos decals.

Let's not neglect the Rockies and Avs kitsch, too. But it's nothing unusual. Ever been to Calgary during hockey season? Puget Sound in the grip of Seahawks mania?

Come to think of it, there was an unexpected benefit to so many people being glued to TV sets. That turned out to be prime quiet time to hike or bike at what normally would be crowded places! We started scheduling outings around those times, LOL. As a bonus, the people we encountered then inevitably valued the peaceful trails and waters as much as we did, and darn near everybody was glad to see kindred souls.

That's awesome. Out of rep.

I played baseball with a guy a couple of years ago, one of those fellows who wears the horse all over all year long. Well, a Broncos game conflicted with one of our baseball games, so I suggested he bring a radio along, so we could listen to Dave Logan in the dugout while we play.

He said I was out of my damn mind.

He stayed home and watched the game.

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by N610DL

That's ideal - I feel like Denver is perfect for couples wanting a change of pace. The amount of aloof and flighty chicks in this city is ridiculous. Many don't dig guys with the "funny/smart/sarcastic" personality types. They just want a bearded mild-mannered plump stoner.

Oh, good grief. Do you really think all those athletic females want a plump BF? I sure didn't. Same for stoners. Maybe don't try to meet compatible women at bars? Women love funny and smart. Sarcastic might be the problem child, depending on how you do it.

[emm74]

Originally Posted by N610DL

I mean, I kind of think your response is on the harsher side with the "get going, break your lease" comment. Breaking my lease would cost me major $$$ and if you read through the comments, you'll see that 10 months isn't enough of a trial run. You have to REALLY hate a place to leave before a year is up - and I'm certainly not there yet.

And BTW based on the job advice you give out, isn't your claim a little hypocritical with 'not giving enough time 3/4 of a year into a reorg?' Wouldn't that also apply to starting fresh in a new city as well?

"Yes I understand that there is uncertainty during a reorg. But even without a reorg, I think your timing expectations are unreasonable - you haven't proven yourself to them to warrant trying to create a position/path for you. And it's not "almost" a year, since you've only been there 3/4 of a year, and this didn't happen until after you started. It takes time for things to sort out after a reorg."

For the record, I was let go 3/4 of a year into a reorg so your point is wrong anyway.

Didn't recognize your name from that other post. Obviously there were things about the job situation that clearly made my take on what you had posted inaccurate.

But in any case, what is keeping you in Denver?

You have to look for a new job, why not do that in a city that you want to affirmatively be in, rather than one you are in by default? And anyway, advice about not pushing a workplace for career advancement during a reorg has nothing to do with whether a city where you describe yourself as feeling "less relaxed and angrier" since you moved here is a good place for you to live.

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by David Aguilar

That's awesome. Out of rep.

I played baseball with a guy a couple of years ago, one of those fellows who wears the horse all over all year long. Well, a Broncos game conflicted with one of our baseball games, so I suggested he bring a radio along, so we could listen to Dave Logan in the dugout while we play.

He said I was out of my damn mind.

He stayed home and watched the game.

Too rabid! BTW, when I lived near Boston and took public transit to school and work (the route went through the Fenway Park stop) you shoulda been on the train the day the Red Sox lost a major game. The entire train was packed full of fans going home from the game, and not one person said one word, not one person made eye contact with anybody else. It was so morbidly quiet I almost giggled.

I am having dreadful flashbacks of seeing blue and orange bowtie pasta salad, eek.

[N610DL]

Originally Posted by emm74

Didn't recognize your name from that other post. Obviously there were things about the job situation that clearly made my take on what you had posted inaccurate.

But in any case, what is keeping you in Denver?

You have to look for a new job, why not do that in a city that you want to affirmatively be in, rather than one you are in by default? And anyway, advice about not pushing a workplace for career advancement during a reorg has nothing to do with whether a city where you describe yourself as feeling "less relaxed and angrier" since you moved here is a good place for you to live.

Read my replies - I basically got let go and got hired by another company on the same day with a slight salary bump. So yes, I'm employed.

What's keeping me here is the fact I moved in March of last year which in all fairness is a weird time to make a move to Colorado (the mix of warm and cold days, snow and dryness etc) and didn't even get to make it to the mountains. This year I got a pass to Winter Park so I think this could be a game changer (train goes there too.) Frankly I haven't even explored all neighborhoods or cities like Ft. Collins and whatnot - giving up now would be a waste.

So the negativity could subside, just saying it's certainly been beyond a weird transition so far.