Dating - Are there a lot of good guys? (Denver: gated, store) - Colorado (CO) - Page 14 - City-Data Forum

sportsfangal · 10-03-2008, 10:23 AM

A ha, thank you-"wanttomoveeast", I see the icons now, I was using "quick reply".

DenverLawGal · 10-03-2008, 10:26 AM

I don't know why I'm not making myself clear. I never said watching a game at a sports bar was clingy, where did you get that assumption? The "clues" that you are giving off are the aura I spoke about many pages ago. Perhaps I need to phrase this differently so you understand what I'm trying to say. I'm pretty sure I gave the negative thoughts scenario, what else is there?? This is my last post, I'm frustrated.

If you are walking around, minding your business, but have the thought first and center in your mind "I want to meet a man" "I'm looking for a man" "Where can I meet a man?" -- then these are vibes you are putting out. Not only men can see/feel this, but women too. This is a huge turnoff to many singles, I know, I used to be single. When some desperate acting guy approached me, I knew it right away before he even spoke. It's kind of obvious.

DenverLawGal · 10-03-2008, 10:27 AM

Yes, with the advanced tab you can do a lot more than just a quick reply. Glad you found it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sportsfangal

A ha, thank you-"wanttomoveeast", I see the icons now, I was using "quick reply".

sportsfangal · 10-03-2008, 10:38 AM

Wanttomoveeast-one last post as well. I don't go around thinking to myself "i need to find a man, have to find a man, where are all the men", etc.
What I was trying to explain to you is that when I go out and do things, normal, regular things, finding and meeting men is not on my mind.
it's the times where I DO encounter a man, maybe it's at a bar, a bookstore, gym, etc. and we are talking normally. I wonder why is it that in THOSE circumstances, if the guy felt interested enough to talk to me, why it doesn't lead to further interest. That's all.
IMO-you are telling me that when I do regular things, I am sending out a messaage that says I am desparate.
Oh forget it! writing this stuff isn't helping to get our points across, guess we just disagree!

DenverLawGal · 10-03-2008, 10:43 AM

No hard feelings. Your second to last statement is what I'm trying to say, although not necessarily desperation, just that vibe that you have ulterior motives, i.e. I want a man. I still stand by my advice. Forget about men, and try to do something different even in your daily activities. Also, that includes joining social groups. We have a happy hour going here, and you haven't been to one. Also MeetinDenver and Meetup are good social outlets and they don't all require alcohol or sitting at a bar.

BlueSimple · 10-03-2008, 12:22 PM

I find the back-and-forth in this thread fascinating.

I am not so good at meeting people, but I have found that it really depends on my mood. So I am more open to new things and vibes and whatnot if I am in the right frame of mind.

As for sportsbars, I really am not a fan. Just personally, I like chilled out bars that aren't jammed with people, which now that I think of it, is pretty counterproductive to meeting anyone really. And, despite every girl being totally surprised by this, I don't really care about most team sports. I don't get into it, some women find that non-masculine, which I find funny. Like screaming at a TV wasted over your favorite team makes you a tough guy...

I digress.

One thing that does really bother me is intellectual arrogance. From women or men. I have never understood this. You're smarter than another person, that's fine. That's life. Please believe me however, that a college degree does not make you smart or even well spoken. There was a post on here that a person only would seek out someone with a higher education. That to me is a self-limiting trap based on a feeling of assumed intellectual superiority. I had an incredibly small highschool class, 18 people including 5 foreign exchange students. Out of that number a large proportion went and succeeded at the ivy league level; Brown, Harvard, Yale etc. I have kept up with many of these people, and while yes, they are extremely, extremely well versed in their chosen field of study, some of them near experts, it has not helped them form more cogent sentences, made their opinions more relevant or made more witty thoughts fly fromt their heads.
I am a fan of higher education, I think it is something everyone should try, I do believe though it is not for everyone. As someone who has personally been to 6 different colleges and universities and only walked away with an Associate's Degree, I am still on the fence as to whether it is still for me or not!

I suppose everyone has to have their filters regarding meeting people, but that is a very silly one in my opinion. But that is the nature of relationships I suppose, that's only one reason I keep all my shoes clean. The other is sheer vanity.

DenverLawGal · 10-03-2008, 01:35 PM

BlueSimple, niiiiiicce (*Borat*)

Actually, I thought I snagged the last non-gotta-be-macho man who hates televised sports. Glad to know there are more out there!

I too went to a few colleges but then finally decided I'd better finish or I'd forever hate myself. Got an undergrad. in Sociology and am doing nothing with it other than my non-scientific studies here. I too am a fan of higher education only because I believe that it opens up your mind a bit, gets you thinking, and often times exposes you to others you'd otherwise never come in contact with. Oh and it's a great dating tool. lol

BlueSimple · 10-03-2008, 01:40 PM

Aww, I don't hate 'em, I just don't get into 'em. I don't understand it. What I really do hate though, is baseball...

I must say though, when the Ryder Cup was on a little bit ago I spent my fair share of time in front of the old idiot box and got into it.

I am sure I will finish college eventually, it will always be there. And if not, well, finishing up won't make me a better person so I'll be just okey dokey I am certain.

DenverLawGal · 10-03-2008, 01:43 PM

Finishing was just very personal for me. I am sort of a control freak and not finishing anything drives me insane. Plus, my family would never let me forget it and I really had to show them. But then I finished and they shut up. oh well.

I cannot stand the commentators. I actually love watching a good boxing match. A good bloody one. With the guys struggling to stand up. Baseball is ok. I like the more violent sports. And action. Football is the worst for me.

BlueSimple · 10-03-2008, 01:59 PM

I hear that, I have a similiar issue. I have 3 sisters, 2 with multiple degress and 1 about to get her first. I catch some flack from time to time but it's not real serious.

Boxing is pretty much awesome, I always wanted to try it. Football, well I am a Bears fan that's about it. Not a diehard but will always root for them. Another sport I wanted to get into but my highschool was too small.

Not to get back on topic or anything, but I had looked at the original post and wasn't sure if i had mentioned it earlier. Dating and relationships are what they are, that's fine. Everyone has their own opinions and experiences obviously. I have to say though, moving to a new city, no matter where it is to or where you are coming from, for the express purpose of meeting a significant other strikes me as a really bad idea. Just my own opinion.