Why are people so shady here? (Des Moines: move, nicest, friendly)

[RC01]

Originally Posted by RonnieJonez

A lot of the "if you don't like it, just leave!" mentality that permeates the midwest. People have a very hard time in midwestern cities accepting in any kind of criticism (especially mid-sized cities).

This happens everywhere. Idk why you are getting the notion that this is just Midwestern cities. Ever look at the NYC forum?

[camille563]

Originally Posted by todd00

Kids having cliques, bullying is not just a Midwestern thing. Read the papers. New kids can have problems breaking into the circles tightly formed by years together in school. I had that problem as a new kid, many, many moons ago. This is nothing new. Adults form social cliques too. In the southeast, its often church, school sports and family. So is that so much different than what many are interested in here? Obviously DM is not Miami, or NYC, but that should be obvious to people long before a permanent move. What I don't like when I hear some speak of diversity is the fact they feel the other side must bend over backwards for them. We can only learn from them and broaden our shady clodhopper backward ways. How condescending they can make it sound at times.

You really aren't looking for answers, its about putting down the area and its people. About the best thing you said was there were a few that were OK, but most are shady. Do you do this to people in person too, if so why would you think they would want to be friends. Do you go on and on about the lack of diversity and how boring it is to live in DM and how much better it is in Miami? Funny Miami is consistently rated as one of the rudest cities, even the natives rate it that way. It's clear you will never be happy in Iowa, so do your best to move back to paradise, with its friendly non-shady people, nonexistent poverty and crime, wonderful perfect school system, patient drivers, and of course...plenty of diversity.

Obviously they're cliques everywhere, but Iowans aren't welcoming and that's it, you can sit here and say its me or say my attitude is the reason but at the end of the day the Iowans I have met with the exception of few have not been welcoming or really friendly and that's it! This going back and forth it getting old I have expressed my feelings without personally attacking anyone unfortunately others didn't do the same. You all have proved my point on how Iowans treat outsiders

[Tek_Freek]

Originally Posted by camille563

Thank you! Thats exactly what I mean't! You couldn't have said it better about Miami. Here Des Moines people just don't get me! They take opinions way too personal and make it a personal attack!

Whoa! Back up the BS truck!

Are you saying this about the people in DSM or yourself? You have made it abundantly clear that anyone whispering in your vicinity is staging a personal attack against you. Then through this entire thread you have spent the majority of your time attacking people here for being not Hispanic, not Miamian, cliquish (Like those where you came from aren't ), when in fact you are freely admitting to being cliquish when you demand everyone around you be like you.

You expect everyone to speak Spanish just because you do. Well here's little information for you: You're in Iowa. What do you expect? When I was a child we had a couple of years of Spanish in school and promptly forgot it because no one spoke Spanish. German maybe, some Irish, a bit of Italian, but not a single person I met until I was out of high school spoke fluent Spanish. This isn't Miami, Mexico City, Barcelona, or Buenos Aires.

My advice to you is to get back to Miami as soon as you can. You will never fit in here because you're never going to make an effort to do so.

[rugrats2001]

Originally Posted by RonnieJonez

A lot of the "if you don't like it, just leave!" mentality that permeates the midwest. People have a very hard time in midwestern cities accepting in any kind of criticism (especially mid-sized cities). You don't get a cross-section of replies how you would with larger cities. Mid-sized are in a strange realm where they have enough going on to be similar to bigger cities in some ways, but are still small enough they don't seem too aware there is a world outside their city, and can be a bit fanatical about how awesome their city is.

Well, take a trip to any city, town, or hamlet in France, Japan, Italy, England, Egypt, Russia, Greece, or about 200 other countries, and tell the residents that they are 'doing it wrong' and need to change to meet YOUR needs, and see how they react. The fact is, most places in the world already HAVE a culture, thank you very much, that they have developed over decades, centuries, or even millenia, and if you want to get along there, you need to adapt to them. It just so happens that most of Iowa is that kind of place as well. Not everywhere can be Chicago, Rio, Vancouver, Toronto, or NYC. And not everyone wants to be.

[Tek_Freek]

Originally Posted by RonnieJonez

Iowans need to learn to accept it's not for everyone and find a way to avoid getting upset in the process. Which is probably impossible.

Same old crap from Ronnie I-can't-spel-my-last-name. It's up to the entire state of Iowa to change for anyone that shows up and decides things should different because they are uncomfortable or don't feel like they fit in. And, of course, his take on it is that we all get upset about it. Um, sure, Ronnie I-can't-spel-my-last-name. If that's what makes you feel vindicated for having such a negative attitude about a city that apparently rejected you (and with your attitude who can blame us) then feel free to do so. Once a twit always a twit.

[Tek_Freek]

Originally Posted by RC01

This happens everywhere. Idk why you are getting the notion that this is just Midwestern cities. Ever look at the NYC forum?

Ronnie I-can't-spel-my-last-name is a poster best left ignored (although I can't always because of his rampant hatred) and if you read back through his previous posts you'll discover he has a huge chip on his shoulder regarding Des Moines and Iowa. Even though he has moved (he says) he still wanders in and makes posts where he tries to mask his bias by talking nice before he says some stupid thing that makes no sense and has no basis in fact. Most here regard him as a troll.

[tollfree]

I still return on occasion for personal reasons. Picked up a DMJuice last time I was recently in town, it's definitely still Narn, IA.

Read something about how Des Moines invented some version of Kung-Fu training. After all, the world does revolve around Iowa.

[Tek_Freek]

Originally Posted by camille563

Obviously they're cliques everywhere, but Iowans aren't welcoming and that's it, you can sit here and say its me or say my attitude is the reason but at the end of the day the Iowans I have met with the exception of few have not been welcoming or really friendly and that's it! This going back and forth it getting old I have expressed my feelings without personally attacking anyone unfortunately others didn't do the same. You all have proved my point on how Iowans treat outsiders

Yup!!

Originally Posted by camille563

people are so shady

Originally Posted by camille563

Midwestern people are not nice unless you fit in their bubble or are their kind of normal they don't welcome change or different people!

Originally Posted by camille563

Yes it is a bit cultish! Clicks are also formed and outsiders aren't welcomed

[tollfree]

Originally Posted by rugrats2001

Well, take a trip to any city, town, or hamlet in France, Japan, Italy, England, Egypt, Russia, Greece, or about 200 other countries, and tell the residents that they are 'doing it wrong' and need to change to meet YOUR needs, and see how they react. The fact is, most places in the world already HAVE a culture, thank you very much, that they have developed over decades, centuries, or even millenia, and if you want to get along there, you need to adapt to them. It just so happens that most of Iowa is that kind of place as well. Not everywhere can be Chicago, Rio, Vancouver, Toronto, or NYC. And not everyone wants to be.

"Thank you very much"? You sound like a sassy high school girl, although you're probably an adult male. Very common attitude in the midwest - you need to get out of town more and stop such an uptight Iowan.

I've been to Italy, Japan, Spain, most of South America, and every big city in the US. Have lived in Chicago & Miami as well.

While each place has it's own culture, nowhere comes close to the level of fanaticism you have in Des Moines. It's close to Waco sometimes.

[todd00]

If a person makes a thread and comes straight out and says people here suck then really what can one expect back. Take a look at threads from Dallas and those saying how its hard to fit in and get to know people. It can happen anywhere. You will find plenty of New York City folks that will bark the if you don't like it leave mantra. It's not a Midwestern thing at all. Attack and expect some people will get their back up. If she had asked for suggestions from the beginning rather than starting with the title asking why people are shady most likely she would have seen more friendly replies back. Living other places you find a cross section of folks, good and bad, same as in Iowa.

No its not you at all OP, its everyone else in the state.