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Old 03-05-2013, 12:55 PM
 
2,045 posts, read 1,838,152 times
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My four children have all been academically successful and are fortunate to have found good employment in the metro area. Wait, no-- one is still in high school and doing very well.

But they have ALL commented to me individually, how grateful they are to my husband and me, for not raising them in certain communities close to ours. I am not kidding! We live in Farmington Hills. I have asked them why, as I didn't grow up in this state and don't like to make assumptions. They all told me of of too many kids they encountered who seem to have annoyingly shallow, superficial values. They met these kids in colleges and at camps.
Certainly not everyone, they admitted, when I expressed skepticism, but way too many for it to be coincidental. I have heard this four times now!

Just a reminder; information about communities and schools isn't all in the statistics, and you won't find it all on websites. Happy families tend not to post! I know that makes it harder to find the best place to raise your family, but you have to get out there and talk to people in the neighborhoods you are interested in, if at all possible. Go to schools, neighborhood meetings. Look at newspaper articles. And best of luck.
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Old 03-05-2013, 01:10 PM
 
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Farmington Hills is a decent, above-average community, but the schools have a reputation of declining performance.

I don't know if this is true, but I would bet that if folks with kids had the choice of FH schools vs., say Novi, schools, 95% would take Novi schools.

But FH schools are still above-average, I think. It's just that they are generally worse than some of the surrounding communities (which, to be fair, are basically the best in the state- Novi, Northville, Birmingham, and Bloomfield).
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Old 03-05-2013, 01:21 PM
 
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The point I was trying to make is that it takes a lot more than statistics and website reputation to judge a community. That being said, everyone is certainly entitled to their opinions.
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Old 03-05-2013, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Michigan
4,647 posts, read 8,554,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgkeith View Post
My four children have all been academically successful and are fortunate to have found good employment in the metro area. Wait, no-- one is still in high school and doing very well.

But they have ALL commented to me individually, how grateful they are to my husband and me, for not raising them in certain communities close to ours. I am not kidding! We live in Farmington Hills. I have asked them why, as I didn't grow up in this state and don't like to make assumptions. They all told me of of too many kids they encountered who seem to have annoyingly shallow, superficial values. They met these kids in colleges and at camps.
Certainly not everyone, they admitted, when I expressed skepticism, but way too many for it to be coincidental. I have heard this four times now!

Just a reminder; information about communities and schools isn't all in the statistics, and you won't find it all on websites. Happy families tend not to post! I know that makes it harder to find the best place to raise your family, but you have to get out there and talk to people in the neighborhoods you are interested in, if at all possible. Go to schools, neighborhood meetings. Look at newspaper articles. And best of luck.
You find those types of kids anywhere. Both in Michigan and out of state.

Most likely, those are the kids that follow the trends; ie MTV and the like, all with the latest iPhones, and wearing the newest fashion trends. I think has less to do with community and more with just what young people are into and typical teenagers growing up. Now if they're 30 years old and are still like this...well, that's all on the individual and I don't think that'd be a good way to judge a community. Metro Detroit is just like anywhere else with different social groups of people that tend to group together based on similar interests and lifestyles.

But of course, like you said, all the more reason to get out and interact with people and get to know a neighborhood more than just through numbers.
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Old 03-05-2013, 01:31 PM
 
465 posts, read 868,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgkeith View Post
The point I was trying to make is that it takes a lot more than statistics and website reputation to judge a community. That being said, everyone is certainly entitled to their opinions.
True, you can't go by test scores alone. And school performance doesn't really mean school quality; it's mostly reflective of who attends the schools. For example, I doubt the teachers in Bloomfield Hills are better than the teachers in Detroit; the difference is you get a wealthier demographic with more involved parents in Bloomfield Hills.

Farmington Hills seems like a good area to me, and in many ways, has a terrific location, since it's so central to everything in the region. And, yeah, it's an upper middle class community, but down-to-earth relative to some other Oakland County cities.
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Old 03-05-2013, 01:48 PM
 
Location: The Carolinas
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Default It takes--at a minimum--involved parents.

If you can find a community where most parents take an active role in raising their kids "properly" (someWHAT subjective, of course), you will have found a good place to raise kids and live. It does not "take a village", well, er, to some extent that helps. Too many parents abrogate their responsibilities in raising their kids by saying, "screw it, let the village do it".
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:19 PM
 
1,648 posts, read 3,256,565 times
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Which is funny because parents that take an active role in raising their children and supplementing their public school education at home each night don't tend to be as concerned with what school district they ultimately end up in. It's the insecure parents who aren't capable/don't want to spend the time to raise their own children that just want to put them in "the best schools" and hope they won't fall through the cracks. Those parents think I make X in salary, therefore society dictates that I must live in X suburb and send my kids to X school. Those who understand the logic of millionaire next door don't have to worry about such debt fueled living. And later in life have children like the OP who rise up and call their parents blessed for raising them right, regardless of locale.
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Old 03-05-2013, 10:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by animatedmartian View Post
You find those types of kids anywhere. Both in Michigan and out of state.

Most likely, those are the kids that follow the trends; ie MTV and the like, all with the latest iPhones, and wearing the newest fashion trends. I think has less to do with community and more with just what young people are into and typical teenagers growing up. Now if they're 30 years old and are still like this...well, that's all on the individual and I don't think that'd be a good way to judge a community. Metro Detroit is just like anywhere else with different social groups of people that tend to group together based on similar interests and lifestyles.

But of course, like you said, all the more reason to get out and interact with people and get to know a neighborhood more than just through numbers.

animatedmartian, I used to believe this too-- until we moved.

Kids pick up on what they hear at home; general attitudes and subtleties. If the parents are materialistic, the children tend to be, too. Communities reinforce this when there are a lot of common- minded individuals. It becomes the norm. This can be very difficult for any parent to work against, especially as the kids grow older and are more influenced by peers.

The opinions my children shared with me were definitely their own. The fact that all four of them brought up similar issues startled me! They are very different individuals.

I hope that my disclosing this might possibly be useful to young parents.
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Old 03-06-2013, 06:06 AM
 
2,210 posts, read 3,474,844 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belleislerunner View Post
Which is funny because parents that take an active role in raising their children and supplementing their public school education at home each night don't tend to be as concerned with what school district they ultimately end up in. It's the insecure parents who aren't capable/don't want to spend the time to raise their own children that just want to put them in "the best schools" and hope they won't fall through the cracks. Those parents think I make X in salary, therefore society dictates that I must live in X suburb and send my kids to X school. Those who understand the logic of millionaire next door don't have to worry about such debt fueled living. And later in life have children like the OP who rise up and call their parents blessed for raising them right, regardless of locale.
I disagree. I think the parents who pay attention to things like what the better school districts are are far more likely to be involved in their children's education. My wife and I sacrificed square footage so we could live in a community like Novi that values education more than most communities. Like an earlier poster said, Novi or Bloomfield Hills teachers probably aren't "better teachers" than those in Detroit -- the payoff of high test scores comes from families who make sure their children are engaged in their education.

On the other hand, we know people who value a bigger house above all else, and are OK if the school system is "good enough." To me, that's a signal that you're not as involved in your kid's education as you should be.
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Old 03-06-2013, 07:12 AM
 
2,045 posts, read 1,838,152 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Digby Sellers View Post
I disagree. I think the parents who pay attention to things like what the better school districts are are far more likely to be involved in their children's education. My wife and I sacrificed square footage so we could live in a community like Novi that values education more than most communities. Like an earlier poster said, Novi or Bloomfield Hills teachers probably aren't "better teachers" than those in Detroit -- the payoff of high test scores comes from families who make sure their children are engaged in their education.

On the other hand, we know people who value a bigger house above all else, and are OK if the school system is "good enough." To me, that's a signal that you're not as involved in your kid's education as you should be.

Of course you disagree; you made a big decision to move to Novi, and as you said, you made sacrifices. You need to believe that will make for a better long-term quality of life for your child. I certainly hope that it does!
Some people need more square footage to raise a larger family. That doesn't necessarily mean they aren't as interested in the quality of their kids' education! That's a bit of a leap in reasoning, don't you think?

Test scores, while a guideline for choosing a school district, are relied upon excessively. They don't tell the whole story of what kind of environment your child will be experiencing, or the quality of the education, for that matter. The environment plays a huge part in your child's education, as they are taught a lot more than academics when they attend a school. This additional education will impact your child's life profoundly.
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