Where is the young social scene in Metro Detroit? (Ferndale: apartment complex, neighborhood)

[Tekkie]

Originally Posted by Coldjensens

You had brocolli stuck in your teeth. She was looking down to help her control her laughter. She walked right past to get away a bit before she burst out laughing and called her friends to tell them about it. At least she did not giggle and take your picture.

An no, this is not California. You cannot smile at a gal and she climbs into bed with you. In fact, if you are grinning at some gal you have never met, she is likely to think you are a creeper. Meet them first, then smile at them.

Before you do that, practice smiling into a mirror. Make sure your smile is friendly and genuine looking, not forced. A leering grin is not going to get a positive response.

Also brush your teeth before smiling around and try not to drool.

Funny post.

I'm not a sleezeball; I wasn't expecting to sleep or even have a conversation with this girl. My point was that the younger crowd here seems a little bit more reserved than in other parts of the country, perhaps where there is more of a transient presence. This conclusion was not reached solely from this isolated incident (that was more of an illustration of what I'm talking about). But this, combined with a relatively low participation rate in the local social scene (number of social groups available, the demographic that shows up to these groups, etc.) seems to be a decent indication of how young people are in this region.

It's not a slight in any way to the people here, it's just an observation about the culture. It's no different from when I would travel to the south with my family and folks would wave at us in our car from their porches. I think I could conclude that people in places like TN and KY are relatively friendly or hospitable.

[belleislerunner]

So for purposes of this exercise, we accept your observation. The people here are more reserved.

So the question is - what are you going to do about it? The awesome part about life is that you can make choices that let your life become however you want it to be.

[Tekkie]

Originally Posted by belleislerunner

So for purposes of this exercise, we accept your observation. The people here are more reserved.

So the question is - what are you going to do about it? The awesome part about life is that you can make choices that let your life become however you want it to be.

Well no doubt I'm going to keep putting myself out there and see where that takes me. Worst case scenario is that I decide to leave in a few years and head back to a warmer climate.

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by Coldjensens

You had brocolli stuck in your teeth. She was looking down to help her control her laughter. She walked right past to get away a bit before she burst out laughing and called her friends to tell them about it. At least she did not giggle and take your picture.

An no, this is not California. You cannot smile at a gal and she climbs into bed with you. In fact, if you are grinning at some gal you have never met, she is likely to think you are a creeper. Meet them first, then smile at them.

Before you do that, practice smiling into a mirror. Make sure your smile is friendly and genuine looking, not forced. A leering grin is not going to get a positive response.

Also brush your teeth before smiling around and try not to drool.

That sounds kind of insulting both to the good people of California as well as to the OP.

Not all guys who want to get to know gals are looking for one night stand.

[kimba01]

...and, oh so helpful is the Detroit forum. Hopefully, CJ was being sarcastic.

I agree with you, OP. you are probably correct when you say it's harder due to less transient people. I grew up all over metro Detroit and I can see what you mean. In those small cities you mention many people have grown up together and remain friends. That said, I met new people too. You will just have to put more effort into it. Maybe join some clubs or a bowling league. I didn't realize the difference until I moved. I realized there were far more unhappy people, or at least closed off, then I ever knew. I only speak of the metro area...I think the further north you go, it gets better.

Good luck and don't give up!

[Tekkie]

Originally Posted by Tex?Il?

That sounds kind of insulting both to the good people of California as well as to the OP.

Not all guys who want to get to know gals are looking for one night stand.

LOL, right? I'm thinking he was just being sarcastic, but if not, he's being extremely judgmental. I'm just a nice person, not a sleezeball looking for a one night stand.

I used that example simply as an illustration of what I'm referring to with the reserved nature I've observed in people here. As kimab01 reveals, this is evident to others as well. Metro Detroit is typically not an ideal destination for young people looking to start a career, so there aren't a lot of transients here. Most people that live in the area likely grew up here and have stuck with the same people for years. That is exactly the case with the few friends I do have here. In fact, my closest buddy here has made it a point that he is not looking to make new friends. I hate to say it, but I believe that may be the transcending mindset for a lot of the younger folks left in this area. Perhaps if/when Detroit ever becomes a prominent destination city for young people, that mindset will slowly melt away and pave way to a more embracing mindset.

[Arthur Digby Sellers]

It's a very, very provincial region. Many people in SE Michigan probably live within a town or two from where they grew up. I can go into a bar in the city I grew up in on any given Saturday and probably run into 10-15 people I went to high school with. There isn't much incentive for people to go outside of their comfort zone and meet new people.

[MS313]

How I meet people all the time, the vast majority is meeting them through mutual friends, other than that going to parties/ clubs, events, or just popular places for people my age. MAYBE every once in awhile I'll strike up a convo with a random people (but only if the time is right). Because I get along with nearly everyone, it's easier for me to talk to random people about any topic. I guess if you want to talk to alot of random people, you have to learn to face rejection. See me, I can tell when someone doesn't want to be bothered with me, so I wouldn't even waste my time with them. I even had this one incident where this girl must have thought I was approaching her and started covering her face, after I walk past her she just stares at me in shock (like she can't believe a young guy that doesn't try to hit on her like every other guy in the mall was doing). Don't try to talk to females that get alot of attention, give them VERY LITTLE attention (because that is exactly what they want and expect from you), when you don't give those types attention, many start coming after you (this is from my experience at least).

[kimba01]

Add to all this, the fact that face to face socializing is diminishing. How many times do you walk by a table of people and half of them have their faces stuck in their phones? People tell me all the time that looking at their phones helps them avoid awkward situations, like talking to someone new. Shame, really.

Anyway, when you meet someone in today's world, get their # for texting, their Twitter, their Facebook and then maybe you will be able to set something up further!

OP, you are just interested in making new friends, not necessarily looking for romantic relationships, right? That is the way I read your OP, anyway.

[belleislerunner]

^ - I have a good group of maybe 4-5 buds that we meet up weekly for drinks/dinner what not.

Over time, we realized someone was always on the phone/texting/facebook/tweeting etc - without trying to be rude.

We started a new game where when we sit down at the table - everyone puts their smartphone in the middle.

Whoever touches their phone first, pays for dinner for everyone.

No ones touched their phone since =)