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Old 03-30-2011, 10:29 AM
 
Location: NJ
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i get the sense that the husband is being scapegoated.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:00 PM
 
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If you don't feel like eating a big old sub for lunch (can't blame you there) maybe there is a recipe for a salad or soup that you would like to try. Give hubby the recipe and ask him to make it for you.

I think it's sweet that your husband wants to cook for you. He's being considerate by making you something when he makes his own meals. Hug him for it but give him a little direction...

BTW - I'm not a breakfast person either but I find that if I manage to eat something in the morning, I tend to eat more reasonably throughout the day. In fact, I've seen studies which have linked skipping breakfast with weight gain in women.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:06 PM
 
Location: NJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
I think it's sweet that your husband wants to cook for you.
yeah, this guy sounds like a great guy to me doing something nice and he is getting blamed wrongly. im sure the OP can work it out where she eats a small portion of what he cooks. she could probably also get him to make healthier dishes.

when i visit my mom, she always makes tons of my favorite foods and always has my favorite snacks on hand. its not her fault that i end up stuffing my face and gain weight because of it.

if the OP isnt happy with this guy, i might have to step in and marry him. (thats a joke, im a guy and not a homosexual).
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:19 PM
 
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At the same time, spouses should be supportive of each other and if one is trying to lose weight, the other shouldn't make it their hobby to put plates of fattening food in front of the one dieting....

But to give the OP's hubby the benefit of the doubt, at least he is only making one sandwich for the OP, as opposed to the 2 or 3 sandwiches he makes for himself. I get the impression that he is trying to support his wife's efforts but doesn't quite know what she wants him to do.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:37 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,849 posts, read 32,110,667 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
Just don't eat it if you're not hungry. Tell him what you've said here, that you've been eating to please him for years, it's caused you to gain weight and you're not going to do it anymore. When he fixes you a big meal, say, "I love you, but I'm not hungry and I'm not going to eat this" and then throw it away. He should get the message and if he doesn't, just keep throwing the food away til he does. If you're clear about what you're going to do, he can't blame you for hurting his feelings.
This post made me smile. Food is never thrown away in my house. If I don't eat it, he will. My husband cleans out the refrigerator with a fork and spoon. LOL

20yrsinBranson
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:42 PM
 
Location: NJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
This post made me smile. Food is never thrown away in my house. If I don't eat it, he will. My husband cleans out the refrigerator with a fork and spoon. LOL

20yrsinBranson
like my mom's boyfriend. that guy is so annoying when it comes to pushing food on everyone. he takes it to a level of insanity.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:54 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
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Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
yeah, this guy sounds like a great guy to me doing something nice and he is getting blamed wrongly. im sure the OP can work it out where she eats a small portion of what he cooks. she could probably also get him to make healthier dishes.

when i visit my mom, she always makes tons of my favorite foods and always has my favorite snacks on hand. its not her fault that i end up stuffing my face and gain weight because of it.

if the OP isnt happy with this guy, i might have to step in and marry him. (thats a joke, im a guy and not a homosexual).
He really is doing it to be kind and loving. In his family meal times are 'SACRED', I mean it is this HUGE, HUGE ritual every morning. People get up EARLY just so they can have this breakfast experience. When I met my dh I though he was just weird (because, well, he is a little weird), but then the first time I went to his parents' house... it was like some kind of surreal experience. And to really put icing on the cake, lunch was exactly the same. It was like a religious experience. (BTW nobody in his family is obese despite this).

No wonder, when I met dh he must have though there was something desperately wrong with ME because, not only did I not make a big production out of every meal but I didn't even eat breakfast and lunch.

Truly, he feels like he is doing me a huge favor by feeding me. And to a certain extent I have eaten BETTER since during the 10 years that we have been married than I ever was before - nutrition wise.

Previously, I had been working and I could actually throw away the lunch he lovingly packed for me every day without him knowing it. But now we are working together and I cannot get away with this any longer. To make matters worse our schedule is very demanding and we can't eat dinner before 10 pm at night, so that is even fewer calories I can burn off before I go to bed. Because of this he has taken to packing extra food so that we can "munch" during the entire day, in addition, of course to a big breakfast. Because of our demanding schedule dh is losing weight!

I don't mean to make him sound like a food ogre, but it's getting increasingly difficult to deal with.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 03-30-2011, 04:01 PM
 
Location: NJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
I don't mean to make him sound like a food ogre, but it's getting increasingly difficult to deal with.
to me, he sounds like a great guy not any kind of ogre.

its just hard for me to grasp the idea that he is able to force you to eat more than you want to. there is no reason why you cant eat whatever he makes, just gotta watch the portion size. snacking should be a no no as a rule.
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Old 03-30-2011, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Southern California
3,115 posts, read 7,683,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
to me, he sounds like a great guy not any kind of ogre.

its just hard for me to grasp the idea that he is able to force you to eat more than you want to. there is no reason why you cant eat whatever he makes, just gotta watch the portion size. snacking should be a no no as a rule.
Good post, CaptainNJ! Except for the part about no snacking - even that can be okay, if done in moderation, and instead of a big meal later on.

I think that's the key - moderation - you can eat anything, as long as the portion-size works for your body size and metabolism.
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Old 03-30-2011, 07:13 PM
 
Location: NJ
30,054 posts, read 34,297,317 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bouncethelight View Post
Good post, CaptainNJ! Except for the part about no snacking - even that can be okay, if done in moderation, and instead of a big meal later on.

I think that's the key - moderation - you can eat anything, as long as the portion-size works for your body size and metabolism.
you are right that snacking can be perfectly fine. i just like to keep it down to simple rules for people who havent yet shown the discipline to control themselves. i feel like her snacking is having a bunch of food around to pick at throughout the day. thats a problem. by keeping the eating just to 3 meals, it limits the amount of excessive eating you can do even if you eat a little too much in a given meal.

there are a lot of different diets and ways to get your calories in. i think the best one is the one that works and that the person will actually follow through with.
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