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Old 03-30-2011, 08:59 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,253 posts, read 39,267,602 times
Reputation: 20198

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For snacking, I've discovered raw snap peas in the pod. Ten big pods are only around 15 calories, and the pods are an excellent of fiber. And they're sweet, and have no fat. Or sugar. And no cholesteral. And 3 grams of carbs. They're delicious. And nutritious! And crispy crunchy bursting with watery FRESH goodness.
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Old 03-31-2011, 11:42 AM
 
Location: US
5,143 posts, read 11,603,492 times
Reputation: 5353
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
When I met my husband I had always been thin. My husband is not overweight, but he has a definite food fixation. To him, food equals love. He is also very physically active.

When we first met I gained about 40 pounds in three months, partially due to my husband's eating habits and partially because I started taking Depo Provera which does cause weight gain.

I am not a big eater and I have never eaten breakfast in my life. Usually, I do not start getting hungry until about 3 pm. My husband on the other hand, eats a HUGE breakfast every morning and insists on making "something" for me which I eat more out of a sense of appreciation than anything. My husband really takes it personally if he cooks something for me and I am not THRILLED to eat it.

The same thing, essentially happens at lunch. He will fix himself some huge meal of two or three sandwiches with lots of side dishes (potato salad, cole slaw, chips, etc.,) and almost always fix one for me at the same time. Again, I will usually eat it because I have found that if I don't he will be offended and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I have told him nicely a thousand times that I really am not hungry in the morning and would really NOT eat a big breakfast and lunch, but to him doing this for me is an expression of love and he really cannot help himself.

The problem is that I am consuming way more calories than I need. This is one of the reasons that gained all that excess baggage when we first met. His world revolves around food.

Does anyone have any idea how I can handle this so that I don't hurt his feelings without ending up eating a couple of thousand calories more than I need on a daily basis?

any advice is appreciated.

20yrsinBranson
Well that extra fat is going on your butt and in his arteries even if he does not gain.

If he equates food with love then just have him love you up a healthy meal with healthy portions. Why can't he do that? Love is caring about another and thinking from that persons perspective.

And you absolutely can't blame him for you overeating anything he cooks. You put that in your mouth. When you pass the blame it gives you an excuse to just do it again because it is placing the blame on something you know you can't control instead of challenging yourself to control your own personal actions.

And don't "diet". Just make your meals a little healthier, portion controlled and blame yourself when you are not meeting your goals. When you blame yourself it gives you so many more options too in the sense that it will force you to find a solution that works for you. (instead of just accepting failure and blaming it on an uncontrollable outside source.)
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Old 03-31-2011, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
2,296 posts, read 5,840,366 times
Reputation: 1093
I wouldn't stay married to anyone who ate that much.
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Old 03-31-2011, 01:05 PM
 
5,209 posts, read 9,707,520 times
Reputation: 5903
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post

Previously, I had been working and I could actually throw away the lunch he lovingly packed for me every day without him knowing it. But now we are working together and I cannot get away with this any longer. To make matters worse our schedule is very demanding and we can't eat dinner before 10 pm at night, so that is even fewer calories I can burn off before I go to bed. Because of this he has taken to packing extra food so that we can "munch" during the entire day, in addition, of course to a big breakfast. Because of our demanding schedule dh is losing weight!

I don't mean to make him sound like a food ogre, but it's getting increasingly difficult to deal with.

20yrsinBranson
It depends on what your schedule is, but 10pm sounds late to be having dinner. Is there any way you could have a light dinner together at work around 6 or 7pm instead of after you get home?

Maybe you could ask him to make you something like an egg beater omelet and a bowl of mixed berries for breakfast. Then you could have a fairly substantial lunch together - healthy but filling. And something light for dinner Ex: a salad with grilled chicken or a Lean Cuisine. Raw veggies are good for between meal snacking.
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Old 03-31-2011, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Brawndo-Thirst-Mutilator-Nation
18,799 posts, read 19,119,153 times
Reputation: 15795
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
When I met my husband I had always been thin. My husband is not overweight, but he has a definite food fixation. To him, food equals love. He is also very physically active.

When we first met I gained about 40 pounds in three months, partially due to my husband's eating habits and partially because I started taking Depo Provera which does cause weight gain.

I am not a big eater and I have never eaten breakfast in my life. Usually, I do not start getting hungry until about 3 pm. My husband on the other hand, eats a HUGE breakfast every morning and insists on making "something" for me which I eat more out of a sense of appreciation than anything. My husband really takes it personally if he cooks something for me and I am not THRILLED to eat it.

The same thing, essentially happens at lunch. He will fix himself some huge meal of two or three sandwiches with lots of side dishes (potato salad, cole slaw, chips, etc.,) and almost always fix one for me at the same time. Again, I will usually eat it because I have found that if I don't he will be offended and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I have told him nicely a thousand times that I really am not hungry in the morning and would really NOT eat a big breakfast and lunch, but to him doing this for me is an expression of love and he really cannot help himself.

The problem is that I am consuming way more calories than I need. This is one of the reasons that gained all that excess baggage when we first met. His world revolves around food.

Does anyone have any idea how I can handle this so that I don't hurt his feelings without ending up eating a couple of thousand calories more than I need on a daily basis?

any advice is appreciated.

20yrsinBranson
Sound like you have a real problem with asserting yourself. If it was me I would be very blunt and tell my SO not to push food at/onto me, I can/will decide when I want to eat.
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Old 04-17-2011, 09:32 AM
 
1,116 posts, read 2,721,910 times
Reputation: 1474
I remember reading in one of those girly magazines (Cosmo, Glamour, I can't remember which..) that many, many women gain weight when they couple up. Part of it is running out of time for yourself, while a lot of it is adopting his eating habits. I know that when I first got a serious live-in boyfriend, I went from grabbing a peanut butter on whole wheat sandwich or a salad with oil and vinegar for dinner to having huge meals every night. To him it wasn't a meal without meat and starch, to me it wasn't a meal without vegetables. That led to great food, but also a lot of weight gain for me.

In my current relationship, I compromise. While I might think a diet coke and an apple makes a great breakfast (don't judge me ), he likes to cook something hot every day and sit down over coffee for an hour or so. Oftentimes it's more than I would like; eggs and bacon and toast, or a big stack of pancakes. I eat what I can, he finishes the rest, and I have something light at lunch. When I cook dinner, I cook a larger portion for him and then eat what I can of mine. He knows I don't have quite the appetite that he does and he still teases me about not eating enough, but those changes have helped me lose about 15lb. It's all about communication and compromise, for me.
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Old 04-17-2011, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Oxnard, CA
1,552 posts, read 3,917,683 times
Reputation: 1279
Quote:
Originally Posted by spiderbear View Post
I remember reading in one of those girly magazines (Cosmo, Glamour, I can't remember which..) that many, many women gain weight when they couple up. Part of it is running out of time for yourself, while a lot of it is adopting his eating habits. I know that when I first got a serious live-in boyfriend, I went from grabbing a peanut butter on whole wheat sandwich or a salad with oil and vinegar for dinner to having huge meals every night. To him it wasn't a meal without meat and starch, to me it wasn't a meal without vegetables. That led to great food, but also a lot of weight gain for me.

In my current relationship, I compromise. While I might think a diet coke and an apple makes a great breakfast (don't judge me ), he likes to cook something hot every day and sit down over coffee for an hour or so. Oftentimes it's more than I would like; eggs and bacon and toast, or a big stack of pancakes. I eat what I can, he finishes the rest, and I have something light at lunch. When I cook dinner, I cook a larger portion for him and then eat what I can of mine. He knows I don't have quite the appetite that he does and he still teases me about not eating enough, but those changes have helped me lose about 15lb. It's all about communication and compromise, for me.
Great post! I started losing weight last year and when I met my boyfriend in June, I had lost about 30-40 pounds. I am still with him and now I have lost 112 pounds. I told him in advance that I was not going to gain weight and that I would stick to my plan. He even adapted to my lifestyle for about 6 months and he reverted back to his style but with some of my healthy incorporations.

He loves to cook and he knows I will eat some of it but not in the portion sizes he likes. I figure, this is MY BODY and I have to do what I can to not gain back all that I have lost!
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Old 04-18-2011, 10:54 AM
 
Location: NJ
30,176 posts, read 34,390,382 times
Reputation: 22612
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemon&lime View Post
I wouldn't stay married to anyone who ate that much.
diet seems like a religion to you.
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Old 08-06-2011, 02:35 PM
 
Location: alaska
319 posts, read 887,588 times
Reputation: 158
Default why me?

why do i get the blame for all this? i don't even know you.get a big dog.u got to stop blaming me ok.
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Old 08-06-2011, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,131 posts, read 28,491,699 times
Reputation: 6847
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
Well that extra fat is going on your butt and in his arteries even if he does not gain.
Not necessarily. Sounds like he has a pretty efficient metabolism and probably exercises it off. His liver could be processing things just fine and not producing an abnormal level of lipids. His arteries are probably clean as a whistle, but might be good for him to check with his doc. If he doesn't smoke and family has no history of heart disease he's probably fine. Some people are blessed with the ability to ingest huge amounts without any ill health effects. Seems unfair to the rest of us, but that's the way it is.
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