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Old 03-17-2013, 07:36 PM
 
Location: University City, Philadelphia
22,632 posts, read 14,989,389 times
Reputation: 15937

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I used to be obese, but now I am back at a normal weight for a man my age and height.

In shape for much of my life, I discovered the pounds coming on gradually past age 40. I tried diets, joining a gym, etc. I would lose 5 or 10 pounds and then put it back on again. I really believe that for 95% of us diets alone do not work. Through extraordinary and profound lifestyle change a few of us lucky ones managed to get back to a normal weight. This week I went to the fitness club for 6 days out of the last 7 days.

For health reasons I had to lose weight. I have a family history of diabetes and high blood pressure and I was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I am in good health now but if I put on weight those things are lurking around the corner.

For overweight people I have compassion and empathy. I was there. Just because I managed to lose weight I realize most can't. Obese people are NOT disgusting. Unfortunate, yes, but not disgusting. I have a 330 pound friend, and I keep telling him what a great guy he is (to boost his self esteem) and in the most gentle, supportive and diplomatic way I am trying to coax him into losing just 30 pounds. I believe with empathy and support he can achieve that goal, but I have to help him raise his self esteem because he wallows in self pity and regards himself as a fat ugly pathetic loser who is worthless.
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:13 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,250 posts, read 42,866,198 times
Reputation: 20198
I'm seeing a lot of responses from empathetic people who try to use their own situation to explain how they can understand, or how they've been there too. But none of you have been there. Not one of you, who has posted so far, has been FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.

This woman is 400 pounds overweight. Not 400 pounds total - that's how much she needs to lose, in order to not be overweight. That's two 6'3" football players. It's easy to say "oh I feel bad for her that she can't lose weight, I had to struggle too when I lost 50 pounds." There's no comparison. At all. Even a little. If you only had to lose 50 pounds, then you probably weren't morbidly obese. The woman in the video is beyond morbidly obese. She's in a whole other category of obese.

It's like seeing a video of a guy with no arms or legs, and reading posts from people who say how they understand what it's like because they broke their leg and arm once and had to be wheeled around for a week before they could handle a crutch. Or looking at a traumatic burn patient, and someone saying they can empathize because they got sunburned in Vegas and blistered for three days before it started to heal.

It just seems so phony and patronizing, to say you can empathize with that kind of obesity. And to tell someone how they're such a great guy - do you have any idea how patronizing that sounds? That's code for "you're obese, but I don't want to point that out to you and I have to say something nice, so I'll tell you what a great guy you are." If it were a woman, you'd tell her how beautiful she is from the inside. It's the same thing. And the person you're telling it to KNOWS why you're saying it. They're obese, not stupid.

Also, I don't see the OP saying that he thinks the woman in the video is disgusting. He's saying the fact that she allowed herself to spin so far out of control is disgusting. The PROBLEM is a disgusting problem. Not the woman. And I agree. Morbid obesity IS disgusting. The person who is morbidly obese might or might not be disgusting - but that is another matter entirely.
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Calabasas, CA
632 posts, read 1,033,746 times
Reputation: 826
Ugh. So tired of these "bash obese people" threads.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,874 posts, read 10,557,403 times
Reputation: 4496
Yeah, this seems like one of those "bash the obese threads" in where a lot of people come and try to feel better about themselves bashing the morbidly obese.

Food is an addiction for this woman. Like alcohol, drugs or smoking for MANY people. Except that people seem far more outraged seeing a morbidly obese person, than seeing someone who smokes 2 packs of cigarrettes a day
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Old 03-18-2013, 04:02 AM
 
17,592 posts, read 16,733,068 times
Reputation: 29445
Once you get past a certain body fat percentage exercise, even walking, becomes difficult. Fat does nasty things to hunger hormones and blood sugar making it difficult to control your appetite. If you can't exercise and have no control over your ravenous hunger....you just keep gaining weight, ballooning up.

Reversing the whole process isn't easy. It usually involves a very restrictive diet and a gradual exercise program. There are no quick fixes, no "easy" way to lose the pounds.

I have never been so overweight that I could not exercise. And I used to be thin so I know what a "normal" appetite feels like and how good my body feels when I'm doing regular, dedicated exercise. But there are people who only know what it feels like to be obese, that is their "normal". And there are people with certain health conditions that are on certain medications that make it MUCH easier for them to gain weight and very difficult to lose weight.

So no, I don't feel "superior" to the morbidly obese. Nor do I have to walk in their shoes to have great empathy for them. I really feel for them as a matter of fact.
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Old 03-18-2013, 05:19 AM
 
Location: Schaumburg
759 posts, read 3,151,955 times
Reputation: 964
I'm in the health field, and I see people all the time with medical problems caused by weight--diabetes, sleep apnea, bad knees, shortness of breath--and a lot of them are in denial about their weight. They seem to think it's something else causing their problems and that their weight is not really the main issue.

I think there are so many overweight people in this country that it's becoming the new norm for many.
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Old 03-18-2013, 06:02 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,241 posts, read 7,198,976 times
Reputation: 3014
People who are 400 lbs overweight are probably the National Equierer "gee whiz look at that" exceptions...I think about the run-of-the-mill fat folks we see around during a normal day.

I think its just a lifestyle thing and as others note, sort of a vicious cylce that you fall into. Get fat, get used to it, get fatter, get used to being fatter, etc. Drinking, snacking, "salt/sugar/fat", compuslive eating, big portions, no exerices, drive everywhere, sedentary life, live in front the computer, etc etc etc.

I try not to be too judgemental (tho I seet fat people on the bus a lot and wonder about them..) because "been there/done that".
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Old 03-18-2013, 06:35 AM
 
17,592 posts, read 16,733,068 times
Reputation: 29445
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplesky View Post
I'm in the health field, and I see people all the time with medical problems caused by weight--diabetes, sleep apnea, bad knees, shortness of breath--and a lot of them are in denial about their weight. They seem to think it's something else causing their problems and that their weight is not really the main issue.

I think there are so many overweight people in this country that it's becoming the new norm for many.
The ones in denial might have been fat all of their lives. Their knees never used to give them problems, they never used to have diabetes - in their minds they were healthy even though they were overweight. They're just "big". Since they've always been heavy, they may not necessarily connect the dots between their current (possibly new) health problems and their excess weight.

I think it's a different experience for those of us who gained weight after being a normal weight. It's much easier to see the added weight as problematic. You do feel and look very different. And scales don't lie...
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Old 03-18-2013, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,588 posts, read 17,581,849 times
Reputation: 9463
springfieldva, your post makes sense. I agree that it's a different situation if you've been fat all your life vs. gaining weight when you hit 30 or 40 years old. People who gain a few pounds a year due to a sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits are more likely to wake up and do something about their weight gain (whether they need to lose 30 or 70 pounds) vs. people who have always been heavy.

It's relatively easy to lose weight when you can exercise, but when you can hardly walk, what do you do?! I also have to wonder how many older people find it difficult to exercise and "walk off the pounds" if they're suffering from afflictions like osteoarthritis.

While I don't understand food addiction, I certainly imagine the "trapped in your own body" feeling. It must be terrible.
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Old 03-18-2013, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,329 posts, read 93,937,963 times
Reputation: 17840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oberleutnant View Post
I noticed this video on Youtube about a woman who did not control her eating and became extremely fat. Wouldn't barely being able to walk raise a red flag that a much needed lifestyle change was in order? Severely reducing the calories and obtaining some semblance of exercise? If one of the people like her actually does maintain discipline and lose all the excess fat then good on him or her, [Mod cut]


I Eat 33,000 Calories a day - Lisa Sellers part 1 - YouTube
How could some people allow themselves to become disgustingly naive and insensitive?

How can some people become alcoholics? Why do "normal" people comfortably, and with no will power required, stop at a couple beers while other people just drink and drink and drink?
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