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Old 10-16-2015, 01:18 PM
 
288 posts, read 346,333 times
Reputation: 122

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Going from a 44 to a 46 is way different than gaining 50LBS ... I'm sorry, I know this will sound kind of shallow, but unless there's been some kind of accident that you've been in or some sort of illness that's come over you which caused you to gain weight do to taking certain medications and/or not being able to exercise, then gaining 50 LBS over a relatively short period of time and not making the least bit of an attempt to keep yourself sexy for your mate is wrong in my opinion. This is true for both men and women.
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Old 10-16-2015, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,874 posts, read 10,557,403 times
Reputation: 4496
You arent really overweight, and your husband seems to want you to be anorexic looking, so i say: yes, there is a problem here.

You should stay at this healthy weight and throw him out of your life.
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Old 10-16-2015, 01:43 PM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,261,618 times
Reputation: 15315
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I'm a size 4, and not overly thin. I think everyone has different builds.
Ditto. I'm a size 0... but I'm only 4'10, so that's a normal size for my height.
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Old 10-16-2015, 02:04 PM
 
565 posts, read 434,547 times
Reputation: 685
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Yes, I think a compromise should be doable. 100 lbs is a bit low. 150 is a bit high. Something in between sounds right.

"Should my husband love me the way I am?" If we say YES, will that make him love you more?

If you want to be sexually desired again by him, I suggest to have a talk and negotiate.
Sexual attraction is not something you can negotiate, what kind of silly notion is that? Better question for the OP - what is it that allowed you to stop caring what your man thinks of you?
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Old 10-16-2015, 02:05 PM
 
565 posts, read 434,547 times
Reputation: 685
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL View Post
You arent really overweight, and your husband seems to want you to be anorexic looking, so i say: yes, there is a problem here.

You should stay at this healthy weight and throw him out of your life.
He must really be a jerk, to want her to look the way she did, when he decided to make a commitment. the nerve.
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Old 10-16-2015, 02:07 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,574,143 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Question2015 View Post
Sexual attraction is not something you can negotiate, what kind of silly notion is that? Better question for the OP - what is it that allowed you to stop caring what your man thinks of you?
She does care what her husband thinks of her that's the whole point of this thread!.
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Old 10-16-2015, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,783 posts, read 34,555,649 times
Reputation: 77325
Quote:
Originally Posted by Question2015 View Post
He must really be a jerk, to want her to look the way she did, when he decided to make a commitment. the nerve.
Not to say that she bears no responsibility and shouldn't think of her husbands needs, but it's ridiculous to expect that if you get married for the long haul, that you and your spouse have to stay exactly as you were on your wedding day. People change, mentally and physically.
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Old 10-16-2015, 02:11 PM
 
565 posts, read 434,547 times
Reputation: 685
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
She does care what her husband thinks of her that's the whole point of this thread!.
If she really cared, she wouldn't put on 50 lbs, since she knows he likes petite women. I think women do this type of stuff, because they know that once they are married they have the man by the balls, so its no longer important to try to be attractive to him. They cut their hair short, they gain weight and a long list of other nonsense. They should do everything they can to keep the spark and sexual attraction/polarization alive while most do exactly the opposite.
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Old 10-16-2015, 02:12 PM
 
565 posts, read 434,547 times
Reputation: 685
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Not to say that she bears no responsibility and shouldn't think of her husbands needs, but it's ridiculous to expect that if you get married for the long haul, that you and your spouse have to stay exactly as you were on your wedding day. People change, mentally and physically.
I absolutely agree with that, but I don't think putting on additional 50% of your body weight, in a short period of time, is what you have in mind.
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Old 10-16-2015, 02:15 PM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,295,755 times
Reputation: 13249
Love and desire are two different things.

Yes, he should love you for you - and he probably does. But, he does not desire overweight women - including you.

I am more concerned about your lack of concern for your health AND your husband's feelings.

Your husband cannot help that he is not attracted to overweight women. However, considering the fact that he has gained a few pounds, he needs to re-examine how he is coming across.

You need to make an effort as well instead of saying, "Well if you don't like it, that's too bad!!"

And 50 pounds is more than "a bowl of cereal every night before bed." Are you growing an emotional attachment to food?
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