Body Image, Relationship and Personal Happiness Weight Issues (Alli, pounds, work out)
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So, at age 67, and kind of a stocky girl all my life, I have never completely come to a place of loving myself when it applies to my image. I have always been happy with my face but my body is the issue, and how it effects my feelings. I am presently at my "fat weight" of 155 lbs. When I am at my "best possible for me" weight its 135 lbs. So I fluctuate between these weights. It means clothing from size 8 to size 14.
I like myself at 135, and my husband really dislikes my image at 155. Because he dislikes me at this weight, I find myself also unhappy with the size I wear and not feeling attractive.
I am in great health and I am physically active. I am 5' 4" and I have a smallish frame. So, even at 135 I have much body fat. When I was a young mom, I weighed 114 for a short time and it was the only time in my life that I looked really, really good in a bathing suit. For me, that would mean starvation and I am not willing to go thru that pain. However, I can get to and keep it at 135.... Just takes so much work.
To get to and maintain 135 lbs. it means CONSTANT monitoring of my food intake. I mean constant. It gets so dreary. And I get really conflicted about denying myself food I love. Soooo........ Do you believe its worth it to get my weight down 20 lbs and keep it there?
Should I work on self-acceptance as I am today, or self-improvement as far as body weight?
So, at age 67, and kind of a stocky girl all my life, I have never completely come to a place of loving myself when it applies to my image. I have always been happy with my face but my body is the issue, and how it effects my feelings. I am presently at my "fat weight" of 155 lbs. When I am at my "best possible for me" weight its 135 lbs. So I fluctuate between these weights. It means clothing from size 8 to size 14.
I like myself at 135, and my husband really dislikes my image at 155. Because he dislikes me at this weight, I find myself also unhappy with the size I wear and not feeling attractive.
I am in great health and I am physically active. I am 5' 4" and I have a smallish frame. So, even at 135 I have much body fat. When I was a young mom, I weighed 114 for a short time and it was the only time in my life that I looked really, really good in a bathing suit. For me, that would mean starvation and I am not willing to go thru that pain. However, I can get to and keep it at 135.... Just takes so much work.
To get to and maintain 135 lbs. it means CONSTANT monitoring of my food intake. I mean constant. It gets so dreary. And I get really conflicted about denying myself food I love. Soooo........ Do you believe its worth it to get my weight down 20 lbs and keep it there?
Should I work on self-acceptance as I am today, or self-improvement as far as body weight?
It just depends on what your priorities are and what you value most. For me, health is my priority. Because of this, I don't even think of monitoring my food intake. I just eat foods that have the highest likelihood of keeping me healthy as long as possible and avoid foods that have the potential to have the opposite effect. Same with activity.
As long as I keep these are my priorities, everything else falls into place naturally. There is no struggle and I've easily maintained high levels of fitness and healthy body weight for years.
On a semi-related note, your husband doesn't sound very supportive of you. Does he maintain a healthy weight and attractive appearance himself?
Last edited by Just A Guy; 03-15-2016 at 10:20 AM..
I do not know how long you have been married but at 67 he should really get over it. You should not have to worry about him when you are trying to get healthy. This is about you and how you look and feel, not about what he likes or dislikes about your body.
I too am 5'4. I am 54 and weight between 128 and 132, depending on what is going on in my life. I spent most of my life at 114, but that is just too thin for me now. I got down to 119 a few years ago and it really made me look older.
AT this point in your life I think you should prioritize your health which means eating whole, fresh foods, from all the food groups and nothing processed. Watch your saturated fat and sugar intake. Make sure you are eating enough healthy fats and exercise. Weight training is just about the best you think you can do for yourself at this age, and of course add in some cardio for cardiovascular health. Don't worry about your weight. If you eat healthy and exercise you will more than likely lose a few pounds.
And next time your husband says anything negative about your appearance tell him to go pound salt.
I do eat very healthy; probably overeat a bit. I work out in our condo fitness room daily for 45-60 min
My husband is extremely fit and is a marathon runner. He weighs about 158 lbs at 5'10"
To answer your original question work on self acceptance. It sounds like you are already taking care of your body. Quality of life is the most important thing to have and that takes balance. You need to figure out where your quality of life is. If chasing your tail to lose weight to please your husband is your idea of quality then you have your answer.
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