When people mention your weight and you don't know them that well (how much, cost)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I rent an apartment and fortunately get along with my fellow renters.
The weather here is warm and some of the renters tend to sit in front of the apartment buildings in small groups of about 5 on nice days if they aren't working or it's a weekend and bring their folding chairs.
One lady in particular sometimes will ask me questions I would be glad to answer if it was just her but since there is a group of people, I feel embarrassed.
For example I bought a new 'used' car and she asked me as I entering the building how much it cost and what year it was. Not a crisis, I realize. But just using that as an example. I don't know how to say this other than to say she comments about me or my life every time I come and go from the building ("Were you just at the gym"? If I am with my boyfriend" Are you two going out to dinner"? I had a loved one who was dying and was walking with them one time and she commented "Are you two going for a walk"? She probably didn't know they were dying but it was a rough time for me and having her ask "are you going for a walk", well, I didn't want to talk about it. Again, she's probably trying to be friendly I am sure but it's intrusive a little.
I have lost alot of weight (50 lbs) and she recently said "Wow, you have lost alot of weight". The thing is she says these things as if she knows me. I don't even know her last name. I was leaving to go to work and I smiled and waved. This was in front of a small group of about 5 people who rent apartments here which is a large apartment complex who I don't even know.
What is a polite way to respond to situations like these? I want to keep boundaries without being rude but also keep some things about my life, well, private! When this is happening in front of a small group I feel I have to be careful about what I say and how I say it.
Last edited by aptdweller27; 03-20-2023 at 05:42 AM..
Just say hello back and ignore all questions. Just act like you don't hear them and tell her to have a nice day/night. She will get the hint. She may think you are being rude but that is the chance you take with people like her. She has put you in a no-win situation.
She is the one being rude and doesn't realize it.
I rent an apartment and fortunately get along with my fellow renters.
The weather here is warm and some of the renters tend to sit in front of the apartment buildings in small groups of about 5 on nice days if they aren't working or it's a weekend and bring their folding chairs.
One lady in particular sometimes will ask me questions I would be glad to answer if it was just her but since there is a group of people, I feel embarrassed.
For example I bought a new 'used' car and she asked me as I entering the building how much it cost and what year it was. Not a crisis, I realize. But just using that as an example. I don't know how to say this other than to say she comments about me or my life every time I come and go from the building ("Were you just at the gym"? If I am with my boyfriend" Are you two going out to dinner"? I had a loved one who was dying and was walking with them one time and she commented "Are you two going for a walk"? She probably didn't know they were dying but it was a rough time for me and having her ask "are you going for a walk", well, I didn't want to talk about it. Again, she's probably trying to be friendly I am sure but it's intrusive a little.
I have lost alot of weight (50 lbs) and she recently said "Wow, you have lost alot of weight". The thing is she says these things as if she knows me. I don't even know her last name. I was leaving to go to work and I smiled and waved. This was in front of a small group of about 5 people who rent apartments here which is a large apartment complex who I don't even know.
What is a polite way to respond to situations like these? I want to keep boundaries without being rude but also keep some things about my life, well, private! When this is happening in front of a small group I feel I have to be careful about what I say and how I say it.
How about this...
One day, she starts asking you questions like she always does. Smile brightly, approach her, and say "You know, we always pass each other and have a friendly little conversation, but I don't even know your name!" She will, more than likely, be happy to tell you her name, because she will like the acknowlegment of being seen.
From there on, when you see each other, and she asks her intrusive questions, smile brightly and say "Hi Mrs. Smith! I love that color on you!" or something else that's kind, but you can keep moving, and you've deflected her questions.
I just noticed that Steiconi and I are on the same wavelength. This lady is probably lonely, but friendly. Just turn the attention back on her (in a positive way) and she'll be too flattered to annoy you with questions. ;-)
One day, she starts asking you questions like she always does. Smile brightly, approach her, and say "You know, we always pass each other and have a friendly little conversation, but I don't even know your name!" She will, more than likely, be happy to tell you her name, because she will like the acknowlegment of being seen.
From there on, when you see each other, and she asks her intrusive questions, smile brightly and say "Hi Mrs. Smith! I love that color on you!" or something else that's kind, but you can keep moving, and you've deflected her questions.
I just noticed that Steiconi and I are on the same wavelength. This lady is probably lonely, but friendly. Just turn the attention back on her (in a positive way) and she'll be too flattered to annoy you with questions. ;-)
How much did you pay for that? I respond that I paid market value.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
