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Mike from Back East (one of the Mods) sent this to me. I thought it was very insightful in explaining the deep emotional connection many of us have to our animals.
good read. i can remember the dog my family had growing up. by the time i was in 7th grade she was blind as a bat and i remember going on vacation that following summer, parents had her put to sleep without telling us. when we got back they told us she had died while we were away. even at that time i wasn't nearly as crushed. family cat was put to sleep when i was in college, he was ollllddddd!!!. current dog we've had since 2001 and the old girl still has a lot of energy but you can tell is starting to slow down just a tad. this one i'm actually really not looking forward to the day she passes. probably because i live 10 hours away from the folks. whenever i'm home i always make it a point to spend as much time with the old girl as possible. i think as i've gotten older death has hit me more.
Death, weather it be human, or animal, can be, and usually is, a traumatic experience for those who witness the loss. For we dog lovers, it is especially traumatic.
I have had to say goodbye to some wonderful dog companions in the last few years, and it is never easy., and what has helped me most during the time is knowing their suffering and pain are gone.
Couple that with the undeniable fact that I WILL see them again, and when my time comes, it will be a glorious day.
What I have found to help with the hurt, and empty (something missing feeling) is shortly after, perhaps a month, I bring a new pet into my home.
There are some out there that can't bring themselves to the idea of embarking on a new journey with a new pet, but they should consider the facts.
First, you may have had a long, and loving relationship with your pet, and nothing can take away the memories,and that is as it should be.
I remember when I had to put my first Shepherd down about six years ago.
I had him(Baron) for nine wonderful years.
He developed lung cancer (to this day no one knows how.)
The vet came to the house where I felt the dog would be more comfortable, as opposed to a sterile exam room in a pet hospital.
He laid on the floor with his head resting on my leg, and quietly drifted away.
I had him cremated,and his ashes are on my mantle.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about him.
After his passing, I cried for a week or so, until a friend suggested I visit our local shelter and adopt a dog.
At that point, I couldn't bring myself to do that because I felt it would be "cheating" on the one dog I had loved for so long.
A few quiet times alone during the next couple of weeks allowed me to put things in prospective.
Instead of feeling guilty, I now felt I could make a big difference in a shelter dog's life, were I to adopt one.
I went to the shelter, and any one who has ever visited one, knows exactly the feelings one experiences upon seeing the sad faces of these helpless dogs.
I looked for a Shepherd, and spotted one lying down that looked every bit as fragile as this confinement she had been placed in.
I knelt down, stuck my hand through the cage, and her tail wagged ever so slowly.
To say this Shepherd looked depressed would be a gross understatement.
According to the chart on the cage, she had been there one week.
She was seven years old, and that in itself would have discouraged most from adopting her.
Well, I am not most, and I looked at her and said, "Girl, I don't know how long you have on this earth, but the time you have left will be the best years of your life".
Her name was Elsa, and an hour later she was in her new home.
I sat and watched her as she investigated her new surroundings, and I thought about Baron, and something told me he approved.
Elsa and I had four great years together until her hips gave out.
Once again, the vet came to the house to administer the sedative that let her drift away.
Again the emptiness filled the house, and it stayed that way for five weeks.
Then Bobby came into my life.
He was a German Shepherd like Baron, and Elsa, and just ten months old.
A friend had him , but could no longer keep him.
Bobby filled the void, just as Elsa had when Baron died.
Being retired, I get to spend a lot of time with Bobby.
I know when that time comes,it will be difficult, but I will, in time, heal.
I feel Bobby will be my last because at my age, one never knows how long one may be around, and I have decided I would not want to get another, and then pass on, leaving the dog to morn, not understanding where I have gone,and more importantly, why am I not coming back.
I wouldn't want to put my pet through that.
We love our pets, and when the time comes, as hard as it may be, we do recover.
The memories will always be there, and our love for them as well.
I know my three Shepherds, though two are not with me now, will always be a part of me, as much as they were the first time I laid eyes on them.
Soon after Baron was put to sleep, a couple of my fellow dog lovers stopped by and gave me a plaque with these words inscribed.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal."
"Love leaves a memory no one can steal".
Bob.
Years ago when my first dog( not counting family dogs I grew up with) Maddie got old and developed heart disease then cancer I against everyones advice went out a got a puppy, Jazz. That puppy gave both myself and Maddie something to think about instead of her age and illness. Maddie set about helping me train the little beast ( and she was a beast) . When the day came that Maddie seemed to be telling me it was time to say goodbye I also got this warm feeling that she was saying That Jazz was ready to take over and she knew I would be OK as I had Jazz. I felt that she had waited for this moment before she felt it was Ok to leave me. It still hurt very much to say good bye and I almost changed my mind but Maddie maybe sensing that decided to push that decision as if to make sure I knew I was right and on the way to the vets she put her paw in my lap just before she passed out as if to say " It is time you will be OK" She had been fine that morning but a look she gave me as she refused her breakfast said it was time so I made the appointment then took her to the park to say good bye and started doubting my decision when suddenly sitting quietly next to me she went into congestive heart failure and we rushed to the vets office early. To this day I feel it was her way of letting me know that the decision I made that morning was the right one and yes having Jazz already there helped me a a lot as I knew my loving her did not in any way diminish the love I had for Maddie.
I have continued to bring new dogs in before I loose an old one as I like the fact that they knew each other and I still get the feeling that the old one hangs on until they feel the new one is ready to step in and " take care of me" as I am sure all my dogs have felt that it is they who are taking care of me
It also has always seems to add a spark to the old dogs end as they seem to perk up and get involved in training the new dog or puppy. Even Dash dealing with his cancer seemed to enjoy teaching his new buddy Dazzle the ropes and hanging out with him since Jazz at that point wanted no part of him but that too changed after Dash left and Jazz then had to deal with Dazzle.
anyway that was a great article and yes I do believe that death of a pet is often harder as they are part of our everyday life and so much of that life revolves around our rountine with them.
"a couple of my fellow dog lovers stopped by and gave me a plaque with these words inscribed.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal."
"Love leaves a memory no one can steal".
That is lovely, and true.
You live with an animal every day, and I think, on some primal level, we bond with the live beings around us. I remember living with a boyfriend for almost a year, and we were awful together, and rightfully split up. I didn't want him in my life or home, but still felt something missing- like our subconscious or primal energies had been entwined and had to become unwound, even if our being together was unsatisfactory.
If you're entwined with an animal, any animal or live being, it's a rip to lose them. Also, of course, it can bring up issues of one's own mortality, or what-is-death and other big questions.
Me, I just miss them, and try to find a memory of each one to remember with a*smile.
After five years since my first KorgiKollie died at age 11, I still drive past the area where he and his brother ran like young border collies across a meadow and I greet them every morning there.
Only those of us that are pet parents understand what it is like to lose a pet, friend, companion and to some a child. There are deep emotional bonds we have with our pets that sometimes we fail to make with others. (Not going to get into the psychology of it, that would probably be another thread, anyway...)
So our bonds with our fur-kids runs deep. They depend on us for everything and we gladly give, lovingly do for them. For some of us, nothing is too much. We will spoil them rotten and when they get sick, run them to the pet emergency room at 3am and pay whatever it takes to save them if we can...
Because our time is so limited with our fur-kids, we need to remember they are only here on "loan." We may not get them as a pup or kitten and that is okay. The greater blessing is that have enriched our lives for being in them. Each animal is very different, their personalities so unique. Sometimes, I think they are here to challenge us (in a good way.)
...and when their sunset approaches, as it does in the life cycle, I don't think we can prepare. Perhaps we can in our head, but not in our hearts. The loss of a fur-child is deep and we need time to grieve the loss of a companion that cannot be replaced. That one is forever gone.
On to the next fur-child...there's always another.
When I lost my Am-Staff Happy, if you could have a soul mate that was a dog and fur-child, she was mine. When she passed, I was an absolute train wreck. I could not stop weeping. We had been through the fire together, so to speak. A hellish marriage, divorce, the passing of my mom...she was always by my side. She even help me train the little brat, Tara (Shepherd / cattle dog mix) a few years back). ...And now like that, she's gone. My heart was broken, my baby girl was gone. I was thankful to still have Tara.
A year and a half passed before an opportunity came to adopte Spanky, my Am Bulldog. Tara was getting older. I knew I would have her a few more years but I can't see my life with at least one or two dogs in it.
I still miss Happy and it's been five years. There will never be another like her...but she is no longer in pain and she's keeping my mom company til I get there
Last summer (as many of you know) I lost Tara...I still weep over her loss, because I still miss her so much. She was just a hard one to lose. Not to mention the circumstances surrounding her demise. 💔
I was with both of my girls in the vets offices when they passed, Happy was on the couch next to me. Tara was on the table and I was talking to her and stroking her. I can't imagine making them go their last moments alone. Although those moments a part of me left with them, they will forever be in my heart. 💜
I adopted Diesel last summer. He didn't replace anyone. He's is own man. Funny though, he does things that Happy and Tara both did...and I can only laugh.
I miss my girls and always will...I love my boys and will appreciate the gifts and blessings that are on loan for now. I know one day I will have to also give them back but not today...
Took all the sheets and covers off the beds and couches, put them in the laundry room with a floor full of towels.
We all do theses things but, today I am tired and thought....."what a hassle".
Then I read this thread and started to cry.......I know someday I will not be giving Bear and Angel baths....
As soon as I get the laundry going I am going to take a nap with my clean labs.
And don't forget to hug um.
Bob
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) . When the day came that Maddie seemed to be telling me it was time to say goodbye I also got this warm feeling that she was saying That Jazz was ready to take over and she knew I would be OK as I had Jazz. I felt that she had waited for this moment before she felt it was Ok to leave me. It still hurt very much to say good bye and I almost changed my mind but Maddie maybe sensing that decided to push that decision as if to make sure I knew I was right and on the way to the vets she put her paw in my lap just before she passed out as if to say " It is time you will be OK" She had been fine that morning but a look she gave me as she refused her breakfast said it was time so I made the appointment then took her to the park to say good bye and started doubting my decision when suddenly sitting quietly next to me she went into congestive heart failure and we rushed to the vets office early. To this day I feel it was her way of letting me know that the decision I made that morning was the right one and yes having Jazz already there helped me a a lot as I knew my loving her did not in any way diminish the love I had for Maddie.
