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It's been almost a month since our Shih Tzu passed away and I haven't taken it well at all. She had been chronically ill for 18 months with pulmonary hypertension and CHF but in the end it was renal failure caused by the diuretics that took her life. I never thought of her care as a burden, I thought of it as a true blessing because when she first went into CHF in 2012 she nearly died. I was truly blessed with another year and a half. She had the greatest care from her cardiologists and for the most part she had mostly seen them since her ordeal started.
Here is my dilemma though and I don't know if I am overly sensitive but I am quite upset with her primary vet. We adopted Mia from the shelter as an adult and we had her for 9 years. Those 9 years she saw the same vet at the same clinic. She had just had a visit not even 3 weeks before her passing for an annual exam. At that time her kidney levels had risen but she didn't seem too alarmed. Just a few weeks later she stopped eating so I called to make sure I could increase her Pepcid to twice a day thinking maybe the acid reflux was depressing her appetite. No improvement and then she started having diarrhea as well. We called early that Saturday morning and asked if we could bring her in. We were told no, bring her to the ER. We did bring her to the ER and agreed to start treatment to see if we could bring down her kidney levels (they had doubled in just the few short weeks since her visit). The following morning the attending vet called to tell us she was failing and we really needed to put her down. We agreed but wanted to be there and left right away. She held on for us until we got there but she was mostly comatose and unaware. We said goodbye and we let her go. Even now as I type this I can't help but cry. After her primary found out she passed away, we received a fairly generic sympathy card from her saying she lived longer than most in her condition. Her passing, after being refused treatment, didn't apparently even warrant a phone call. I don't know If I am overly sensitive because Mia meant so much to us but I thought 1.) Being a chronically ill long time patient, it would have been nice if they could have squeezed in an appointment for her so she didn't have to see strangers. or 2. Once she found out she passed away, I thought at least a call would have been nice.
I loved this vet and always thought she was knowledgeable and caring. She's been caring for our pets for quite some time. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel she let Mia down and I can't forgive her for that. I don't think she could have saved her but it would have at least showed she cared if she had tried. Now I am left wondering if I stay at the same clinic and request a different vet or leave the clinic all together to help erase what my mind feels was poor and insensitive treatment.
I'm sorry for your loss. We always tend to overthink what we could have done or should have done to help our pets during their last days. I would guess vets do too...but they have to be careful not to get too attached. Can you imagine the grief they would constantly be dealing with?
Personally, I think you're being a little over-sensitive about the way the vet expressed sympathy. I've had some do some great things (make donations to some pet related charity/fund) and send a card. Never have any called.
The vet recommending that you take your girl to the ER was probably because they would have more resources to help her than the vet would, especially for overnight care and monitoring.
Whether you go back to that vet or not is your choice, I have switched vets because of something that one did that bothered me. Sometimes the next vet wasn't better...sometimes they were. In the end, it's a decision based on your comfort and confidence level.
Give yourself more time to grieve...it sounds like you are still having a hard time. I promise the pain will get better.
First, I am sorry for your loss. My dogs are my close buddies, and their loss would (will) devastate me, so you have my sympathy and condolences.
On the primary vet, yes, you are being overly sensative. I am amazed the vet sent a card. IMO that is quality service and a thoughtful vet. While your dog is special to you (as mine are to me), that is your personal relationship. The vet probably has hundreds of patients in all stages of health, so to take the time to send a card to you is a significant gesture and kindness.
As to squeezing your dog in and whether that is poor care, many things can be read into that that would need to be considered. My vet has limited resources, and if the illness or care requires more than she can offer at the clinic, she refers me out so I am not billed for a visit to her just to get a referal. Since this was a long term illness, and your vet was aware of the dog's need to be put down humanely, the vet may have simply been trying to save you time, visits, money, additional trauma, and not delay the inevitable process.
Without additional information, I think the vet did the right thing here.
Tuck's Dad - Don't get me wrong, I actually did appreciate she took the time to send a card but telling me she lived longer than most isn't very sympathetic to me. Also this is the same vet who DID call in 2007 when we lost our Chow that had a stroke and passed away at home over a weekend.
Mia's cardiologist not only called as soon as she heard but she also sent a card that several other vet techs as well as her secondary cardiologist also signed. She saw them for 18 months compared to 9 years with her primary vet.
When her primary vet refused to see her on Saturday, it put us in a position to put our faith in vets that weren't familiar with her or her condition. So we took their advice and tried to help her through the renal failure by forcing a tube down her nose and pushing fluids through to try to lower the values. The treatment didn't work and instead worsened her condition. All I am saying is her regular vet would have been in a much better position to tell us if she thought she could pull through or if it was time. The ER bill was over $1600 and we probably put her through unnecessary pain and suffering in her final hours.
I guess you have to look at the overall care, and it sounds like you were not satisfied with the care at end of life, and the card was a secondary issue. I have a lot of difficulty finding good vet care (Tuck is a Shar Pei mix, but all Shar Pei for disorders and ailments) so I understand being careful about vets and vet care.
I guess I am saying (and not well) that if your concern is quality of service at a trying end of life care issue, then I would change vets, but you said you have been there for nine years and were happy with the care up until this problem, so I am not sure what I can say to help, other than your concerns about your vet may resolve themself over time.
Yes I think you're being overly sensitive and it's your guilt or emotions taking over. Your vet did the RIGHT THING. (unless you called to have her euthanized)
You yourself said her kidney levels had doubled in that two week timespan. Something WAS going on.
Also DIARRHEA in her case WAS an EMERGENCY. It's an emergency in ALL dogs let alone her - it's a SUPER emergency. In her case the fluid buildup surrounds her lungs and/or belly. It's all in the progression of CHF.
Your dog went into failure sometime before or on a Saturday morning and I don't know ANY vets who would take that emergency into their regular office on a Saturday. They normally don't even work the full day.
I have an 18 year old Shih client with a heart murmur not CHF symptomatic yet....and her vet has given me the ENTIRE progression to expect, and she told me it's very common for owners to bring the dogs in WEEKLY for treatment like fluids etc. Stopping eating is a BIG flag and diarrhea is LIFE THREATENING.
In Jacksonville FL you have to drive your dog TO THE ER for overnight care then pick them up in the morning and drive them back to their primary for the daytime care if they require 24 hour care.
Furthermore, she was under the care of a cardiologist so why didn't you call THEM first and why are they absolved from the blame?
Quote:
She had the greatest care from her cardiologists and for the most part she had mostly seen them since her ordeal started.
She required an IV fluid drip and emergency care probably including being on oxygen and doctors being there to do the other procedures and testing and results. The regular vet does NOT schedule weekend emergency service like that in any way for that AND at the ER they have Cardiologists on call for these complex cases. Your dog was being seen by a cardiologist because she needed one.
So while it's perfectly NORMAL, IMO, to feel resentful, the vet didn't do anything wrong. They did EXACTLY the right thing. And it's very common people get mad about the cost in the ER after it doesn't "work".
You did have the option to euthanize her considering you knew she was living on borrowed time. When you say "we agreed to start treatment" at the ER that means they told you she was in CRITICAL CONDITION and "bringing her levels down" was going to be a THING, right? They also IME give you a projected BILL for the proposed treatment versus euthanasia.
I do agree you should use an different vet now since you have these feelings about them. It's an awful thing going through a long drawn out illness with our dogs. The last time it happened to me I actually never "forgot about it" and never even got another dog (I started a pet sitting business instead). Everyone copes differently and the grieving process takes longer or shorter for everyone.
Last edited by runswithscissors; 04-25-2014 at 08:05 AM..
Our first golden died of cancer. She lived a good 6 months longer than anyone thought she would and for 5-1/2 months it was a very high quality of life. This dog loved life. The cancer would cause her to fill up with fluids and every couple of weeks they would tap her to drain the fluids. My vet was wonderful and always made time for her. One day, when we were 5-1/2 months in to treatment, my vet said that he wanted to give her a light anesthesia so he could tap her a little faster. I agreed. It was the wrong decision. She had a small stroke and went down hill. We lost her a week later. My vet apologized and said he never should have given her anesthesia. It was a busy day and he made a bad call. I told him that I was just as much to blame as I KNOW you don't give anesthesia to a dog with cancer if you can avoid. They can't handle it as well. To this day, my husband says our vet killed his dog. He didn't. It was a bad call and mistakes happen. Even without the anesthesia we may have had her another month. My vet is human. I think it's amazing all the stuff he needs to know to care for my dogs and yet he is humble enough to say to me "I don't know". My husband hurts from loosing his dog and wants to focus his pain somwehere.
Luvmy3dogs - your vet may have meant to call then the day got busy and other emergencies and patient care made it slip her mind. She deals with the death of beloved pets weekly, sometimes daily. It's a hard job to do and it takes it's toll on them as well. I once paid for an x-ray to prove to my vet that one of my dogs was filled with cancer and it was time to let her go. She didn't believe me until she looked at the x-ray. A good vet doesn't take death lightly. Sometimes they can express it better than other times
I guess in my heart, I know my reasoning is overly emotional. I knew that day was coming and never for a minute did I blame anyone for her death but perhaps myself. She walked into that ER. She might not have been perky but she wasn't apparently critical either. We had no idea at that time her kidney levels had doubled since the test a few weeks prior until they did another blood test and ran an x-ray to check her intestines. Euthanasia was NOT brought up at the ER. They gave a couple options and we went with the one we thought gave her the best chance to survive. This is where I still think we could have been better informed if her actual vet could have seen her instead of ER vets that are meeting her for the first time. Yeah, I feel damn guilty that the treatment actually accelerated her death and probably brought her undue stress. From the responses here I see that I am projecting that pain and guilt on her primary vet. It doesn't erase that pain though and I will concur that I am letting my emotions cloud my judgement but I still don't think I could ever bring my dogs back to her. For me, it would be a constant reminder of Mia. They are a great clinic though so I guess I need to gather my emotions and decide if I can go back there and see one of the other veterinarians. I still have 3 other dogs that depend on me and that is where I need to focus my attention. Thank you all for the replies. It is a real eye opener
You are being overly sensitive. If your husband was having a heart attack, would you expect your GP to schedule an office appointment or would you take him to the ER?
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Your vet did the RIGHT THING. (unless you called to have her euthanized)
