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You need to get her to hr vet asap. These are major changes....She may have any number of things going on. I personally would not make a weakened dog go up and down stairs....If I had to sleep on my couch, and let her lay next to me I would.
Sh is stressed about having accidents....my dog was the same way....He literally cried. I personally feel that many dogs have great dignity, and losing their bowels upsets them, because they do not want to let you down.
I'd also make sure that I was feeding her lightly, and taking her right outside and sitting with her until she potty's.
I hope that she is ok.
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