Returning a dog to adoption...feel bad... (border collie, yorkies, bite)
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Okay so before I get hate for this let me explain:
I am a mother of 2 kids one 7 and one 2, we have a Yorkie, I am a nurse and my husband works oil field so he isn't home for a while. I was working as a full time nurse, but I have now gotten a part time job. With that being said, I was wanting to get a bigger dog for a little more security while my husband is gone, and since I went part time I knew I was going to have more time for the dog. I went to adopt and found what said on the post for the adoption that the dog was kid friendly and dog friendly and over a year old, was trained to sit on command, very loving dog. So my kids and I actually met up with the lady who was the foster and met the dog too, she was very active and we met at a dog park, so the dog was more interested in playing than anything, which I didn't mind at all. The foster lady stated also in the post online that the dog was actually border collie mix, that was another huge reason I considered this dog. I had a collie and was the most loyal and loving dog ever. At the meeting we go to pet the dog, and she was good for the most part. So we agreed on adopting the following week after she got spayed. We took the dog home and everything was actually going well for the first couple of days...THEN..the first dog fight happened...I wasn't able to see which dog started it, but I assumed it would happen because of territory reasons, I separated the dogs, no skin was broken or anything. The next day both dogs ignored each other for the most part, and THEN it happened again, this time I saw that my Yorkie passed by the dog while she was chewing her bone and just looked her way and she lunged! What scared me the most is that my son was right next to them, I grabbed my son quickly and put him in the living room, and went to separate the dogs again. The finally today another fight, this time she did break skin on the Yorkie and a little blood was drawn. I take him to the vet tomorrow just to make sure everything is okay. I had texted the foster lady about all fights and she stated she never had that problem with her and her dogs she had. At meal times I do separate them and stand there until they are finished, but I've had to because she does try and eat the Yorkies food. Sadly, I don't want to take chances with my kids or my Yorkie anymore, I've only had her a week, but I do not want to take chances....HELP?! Any suggestions?
Okay so before I get hate for this let me explain:
I am a mother of 2 kids one 7 and one 2, we have a Yorkie, I am a nurse and my husband works oil field so he isn't home for a while. I was working as a full time nurse, but I have now gotten a part time job. With that being said, I was wanting to get a bigger dog for a little more security while my husband is gone, and since I went part time I knew I was going to have more time for the dog. I went to adopt and found what said on the post for the adoption that the dog was kid friendly and dog friendly and over a year old, was trained to sit on command, very loving dog. So my kids and I actually met up with the lady who was the foster and met the dog too, she was very active and we met at a dog park, so the dog was more interested in playing than anything, which I didn't mind at all. The foster lady stated also in the post online that the dog was actually border collie mix, that was another huge reason I considered this dog. I had a collie and was the most loyal and loving dog ever. At the meeting we go to pet the dog, and she was good for the most part. So we agreed on adopting the following week after she got spayed. We took the dog home and everything was actually going well for the first couple of days...THEN..the first dog fight happened...I wasn't able to see which dog started it, but I assumed it would happen because of territory reasons, I separated the dogs, no skin was broken or anything. The next day both dogs ignored each other for the most part, and THEN it happened again, this time I saw that my Yorkie passed by the dog while she was chewing her bone and just looked her way and she lunged! What scared me the most is that my son was right next to them, I grabbed my son quickly and put him in the living room, and went to separate the dogs again. The finally today another fight, this time she did break skin on the Yorkie and a little blood was drawn. I take him to the vet tomorrow just to make sure everything is okay. I had texted the foster lady about all fights and she stated she never had that problem with her and her dogs she had. At meal times I do separate them and stand there until they are finished, but I've had to because she does try and eat the Yorkies food. Sadly, I don't want to take chances with my kids or my Yorkie anymore, I've only had her a week, but I do not want to take chances....HELP?! Any suggestions?
Return the dog to the rescue group and don't feel badly about it. The rescue group...if it's a good one...will understand and appreciate the information about the dog that they did not observe during the time they fostered the dog. Good fosters try to evaluate as much as they can but every situation is different and it is impossible to learn everything about a dog in all situations so it is certainly possible that the foster did not observe this behavior.
If the rescue group/foster does not understand do not let that deter you from returning the dog. That means they are not a good rescue group but that should not affect your decision since your family (child and dog) is your top priority. The dog is the rescue's top priority and they should want the dog in the best home for that individual dog which may be a home without other dogs or a home experienced with/willing to manage/train a dog with resource guarding issues. They should take the dog back since that is written in every decent rescue adoption contract. If they refuse to refund your adoption fee...and that may depend on the contract language...then just consider it a donation to dogs in need and you will stress much less about that.
The dog can prolly be managed and the resource guarding addressed with counsel from a certified canine behaviorist or someone experienced with resource guarding issues but why should you endanger your family and take on such a challenging task? That is a job for the foster and/or an adopter who willingly takes the dog knowing full well the task ahead.
When you say "she was good for the most part" that may have been the red flag to pay attention to. Since you don't describe what wasn't good we have no way of knowing but in the future if there is anything that doesn't set well with you when you meet a potential new family member that's fair warning that there could be issues. Listen to that fair warning.
Additionally, a BC mix can require a lot more effort to make a good family pet. Or not. It depends on the individual but the more active herding breeds...like the BC, Aussie, Terv, Kelpie, Cattle Dog and others...can often be a challenge. The less active herding breeds...like the rough Collie which I am assuming may have been your loyal and loving previous dog...are generally much easier.
I have worked with great rescue groups for many years. We have three Aussie rescues right now as beloved (but sometimes challenging) family pets. Two are agility partners and one is a certified therapy dog. I have been teaching competitive agility for the past 20+ years and have been counseling people, although I am not a behaviorist, for many years based on my dog training experience. We returned a rescue Papillon because he attacked one of our large dogs two times over a toy. Our large dog took the first attack but reacted with a lunge and an air snap to the second, understandably, and we were afraid for the Pap. So back he went and the Pap rescue was completely understanding about it.
First paragraphs would make this much easier to read.
It would have been better to introduce the dogs on neutral territory for the first time rather than have the initial meeting at your house (which is sounds like what happened). I'm also surprised that the rescue didn't have the two dogs meet to see if they're OK together before allowing you to adopt. Of course even if they got along at the first meeting there would be no guarantee they'd be OK in the house but it would be a good start.
You didn't say the sex of your yorkie. Generally, if you already have a dog it's better to adopt one of the opposite sex.
Border collies and collies (rough collies, like Lassie) are two totally different dogs especially in temperament. Rough collies are great with kids. Border collies are better with older children and not a breed I'd recommend with a two year old. You also didn't say what the border collie was mixed with. If it's mixed with a breed that's generally not great with other dogs that will also factor in. I don't know what kind of dogs were at the foster's house but just because a large dog is good with other large dogs doesn't mean it will be good with small dogs.
It sounds like your new dog is resource guarding (at least with the bone). They may work it out or they may not. It may take a few weeks or it may take months if they decide to tolerate each other.
If your circumstances were different I might suggest giving it more time but since you're there by yourself most of the time and there is a toddler involved (and another young child), and there is a big size difference between the two dogs, I think you should return the dog. Your home may not be a good fit for this particular dog.
Honestly if you want more security, I'd suggest an alarm system.
I think Jumpindogs gave you wonderful advice! I 100% agree that you should take the dog back and do not feel bad about it. Sometime is just doesn't work out. It's better to let the dog go so that they can get into a household that better suits their needs, and this also keeps your household peaceful.
We tried rescuing a dog a little over a month ago. She was the sweetest thing. However, she and our current dog did not get a long. There were dominance issues. My husband and I both felt terrible, and I cried like a baby, but we had to let it go. It was just the best decision for the dog and for our household.
Do whats best for all and don't let your emotions get involved.
Return the dog to the rescue group and don't feel badly about it. The rescue group...if it's a good one...will understand and appreciate the information about the dog that they did not observe during the time they fostered the dog. .
The shelter where I volunteer requires* someone to return the dog to us if they decide not to keep it. We want it to work for both sides (the dog and you). Sometimes, it takes several tries before the right match is found.
* Of course, the requirement is not enforceable. We often get calls for dogs dropped off at the pound, that are returned to us because they had a microchip.
The shelter where I volunteer requires* someone to return the dog to us if they decide not to keep it. We want it to work for both sides (the dog and you). Sometimes, it takes several tries before the right match is found.
* Of course, the requirement is not enforceable. We often get calls for dogs dropped off at the pound, that are returned to us because they had a microchip.
If they signed a contract, I'm pretty sure it's enforceable - just not cost effective to enforce. I think a shelter sued Rosie O'Donnell and won on a clause like that.
First paragraphs would make this much easier to read.
It would have been better to introduce the dogs on neutral territory for the first time rather than have the initial meeting at your house (which is sounds like what happened). I'm also surprised that the rescue didn't have the two dogs meet to see if they're OK together before allowing you to adopt. Of course even if they got along at the first meeting there would be no guarantee they'd be OK in the house but it would be a good start.
You didn't say the sex of your yorkie. Generally, if you already have a dog it's better to adopt one of the opposite sex.
Border collies and collies (rough collies, like Lassie) are two totally different dogs especially in temperament. Rough collies are great with kids. Border collies are better with older children and not a breed I'd recommend with a two year old. You also didn't say what the border collie was mixed with. If it's mixed with a breed that's generally not great with other dogs that will also factor in. I don't know what kind of dogs were at the foster's house but just because a large dog is good with other large dogs doesn't mean it will be good with small dogs.
It sounds like your new dog is resource guarding (at least with the bone). They may work it out or they may not. It may take a few weeks or it may take months if they decide to tolerate each other.
If your circumstances were different I might suggest giving it more time but since you're there by yourself most of the time and there is a toddler involved (and another young child), and there is a big size difference between the two dogs, I think you should return the dog. Your home may not be a good fit for this particular dog.
Honestly if you want more security, I'd suggest an alarm system.
Ditto to what Rowan123 has said. While I hate to see any dog adopted out and then returned, sometimes it is in everyone's best interest to return to the rescue or shelter before too much time has passed, especially when dealing with a situation that may be a hard fix. I have a border collie (4 years old, have had him since he was 9 weeks old) and I do agree that this is ideally not the best breed to introduce into a home with small children. This is a generalized statement of course (some borders are perfectly fine with all children) but the BC tends to be a more high-strung, energetic breed, and often problems can develop if they weren't raised around young children or other household pets. And being a breed that tends to be more nervous, issues such as resource guarding can be common (my own pup had resource issues with high-value treats and with his food dish). You've adopted a mixed-breed border, but a lot of the border traits may be present.
Given that you already have one dog plus two small children, and you are sometimes the lone parent in the home, I'd suggest returning this dog and finding a breed that would be much more reliable around children. Resource guarding in itself is an issue that can be very tough to resolve, even without the presence of children and other pets. The dog would benefit by being placed with someone who knows how to work with such insecurities in dogs - or with someone who has access to a behaviourist to help them. Having a dog with guarding issues can be very risky with small children present, as no matter how cautious you may be, the unthinkable - a damaging bite to the head/face - can happen within seconds.
As far as having a dog for security, I do agree that an alarm system would be a better choice with regard to alerting the family; however, I suspect you simply meant having a dog with a louder bark in order to deter would-be thieves (totally understandable).
It's very difficult to adopt a dog, fall in love with him or her, and then discover that it's not working out. However, in the long run you don't want to take any chances, nor do you want to keep the dog and finally decide months down the road that you simply cannot do it any longer. Then it becomes even more difficult, and is heartbreaking for everyone involved.
I wish you all the best with your decision, and love that you turned to a rescue organization as a first choice.
I agree with what the others said about returning the dog and not feeling badly about it. Not every dog works for every situation and you can't have a resource guarder with another dog and small children around. Yes, he can probably be taught to not act that way, but it doesn't sound like you have the time or experience to do it.
I returned a rescue once who had terrible separation anxiety. I did not have time to work with her and she was very destructive. The next people who adopted her traveled in an RV so she would be with them all the time, which was perfect. Our next dog had been returned to the shelter because she didn't like to be outside by herself and they didn't want her inside. We wanted an inside dog and enjoyed many wonderful years together.
If you want another dog, there's one out there that will work for you and your family. Good luck.
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