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I was devastated the day we had to put him down. I kept thinking if there was anything we could do. He was almost 11 (his breed is usually 10-12) lifespan....but was hoping he would live longer. I couldn’t eat that day or night and didn’t sleep well. But the next day while so sad and it felt so weird with out him, I also felt relief. Relief of him not suffering, relief of not worrying about him, giving him his meds, cleaning up accidents, constant shedding. More time in morning to get ready and tend to our other dog. Even when he was young and healthy he would bark so much and didn’t like people in our house. So it was always hard to entertain. It just seemed a lot of stress lifted. Almost felt guilty for feeling relieved.
No it's not wrong. Dogs are a lot of work, especially when they are older in declining health. I have three large dogs and when they go, I am going to look forward to remodeling my house.
I was devastated the day we had to put him down. I kept thinking if there was anything we could do. He was almost 11 (his breed is usually 10-12) lifespan....but was hoping he would live longer. I couldn’t eat that day or night and didn’t sleep well. But the next day while so sad and it felt so weird with out him, I also felt relief. Relief of him not suffering, relief of not worrying about him, giving him his meds, cleaning up accidents, constant shedding. More time in morning to get ready and tend to our other dog. Even when he was young and healthy he would bark so much and didn’t like people in our house. So it was always hard to entertain. It just seemed a lot of stress lifted. Almost felt guilty for feeling relieved.
I have often said that we treat our animals better than we treat our people. We can and do euthanize dogs when they are "no longer themselves." My mother basically rotted, depending on how you measure it for two or three years before her December 2014 passing.
I was devastated the day we had to put him down. I kept thinking if there was anything we could do. He was almost 11 (his breed is usually 10-12) lifespan....but was hoping he would live longer. I couldn’t eat that day or night and didn’t sleep well. But the next day while so sad and it felt so weird with out him, I also felt relief. Relief of him not suffering, relief of not worrying about him, giving him his meds, cleaning up accidents, constant shedding. More time in morning to get ready and tend to our other dog. Even when he was young and healthy he would bark so much and didn’t like people in our house. So it was always hard to entertain. It just seemed a lot of stress lifted. Almost felt guilty for feeling relieved.
In ways it is a relief. I have had many dogs over the years so Have had to put down many. Just recently my 15 year old Staffordshire terrier. He had been wearing a diaper and having accidents, having difficulty getting around but still managed to climb the stairs. He fell down them twice so I had to put gates up. He whined a lot too. We finally decided it was time. I was sad and felt guilty but also relieved that he would not suffer more and I no longer had to worry about him and deal with the extra care and cleaning.
Feeling relief doesn't mean you didn't love them or do not miss them.
I was devastated the day we had to put him down. I kept thinking if there was anything we could do. He was almost 11 (his breed is usually 10-12) lifespan....but was hoping he would live longer. I couldn’t eat that day or night and didn’t sleep well. But the next day while so sad and it felt so weird with out him, I also felt relief. Relief of him not suffering, relief of not worrying about him, giving him his meds, cleaning up accidents, constant shedding. More time in morning to get ready and tend to our other dog. Even when he was young and healthy he would bark so much and didn’t like people in our house. So it was always hard to entertain. It just seemed a lot of stress lifted. Almost felt guilty for feeling relieved.
Several years ago I had a rabbit who gradually became an invalid as a result of severe arthritis in all four limbs. He went from being a playful, energetic, personable member of the family to one who could no longer move about on his own. Because of his disability, he required constant attention: bathing his hind end whenever he was soiled so his skin wouldn't be affected (bathing a rabbit, even just a partial hind-end, takes absolutely forever because their fur is so hard to dry, and they can't be damp); hand-feeding him cecotropes (I won't describe this since it's rather gross, but you can look it up) because he couldn't reach them himself; cleaning out his ears from an almost constant build-up of wax because he could no longer do it; taking him out of his bed, massaging sore muscles, making sure he was able to 'participate' with myself and his furry-companion members of the family; making sure he didn't aspirate on his dinner; etc. etc. I was absolutely exhausted most of the time. But he was still interested in life. He absolutely loved his dinners and got excited at every meal time, he still chastized the dog or cat if they pissed him off (getting into *his* space), he cherished his massages, and he seemed completely content. I did this for about 9 months after he lost full control of his limbs, and it was only after the pain meds he was on began to not work as well that I decided to euthanize.
Point is, a lot of people wouldn't do this. And it is a personal preference, absolutely. But even though I think he wound up with a longer (and still happy) life than he probably would have, and even though I was exhausted both physically and mentally by it, when the day came that I said goodbye to him, I was overwhelmingly torn. After leaving the vet clinic I was sick over having just lost him...and yet, relieved that it was...over.
What I would have given for him to be with me longer, to have had a normal bunny life toward the end, to have been able to have fixed him. But I couldn't do any of that. All I could do for him was what I did. At the end of the day, feeling relief for no longer having to take on such extensive care for an ailing pet should never be considered wrong. I like to think that relief is part of the pet's gift to their human for having shown them so much unconditional love, especially during such a difficult time; when they are ready to go, they do. They are, in their own way, returning the favour.
The end can be a relief. Especially if they are old and sick it’s a lot of work, sleepless nights, worry.
We lost our old boy at age 13. It was very high-maintenance the last couple years, but he was only in pain the last month. I think we were as relieved for him as we were for ourselves. But we miss him everyday.
Be kind to yourself. You were a loving dog parent.
I was devastated the day we had to put him down. I kept thinking if there was anything we could do. He was almost 11 (his breed is usually 10-12) lifespan....but was hoping he would live longer. I couldn’t eat that day or night and didn’t sleep well. But the next day while so sad and it felt so weird with out him, I also felt relief. Relief of him not suffering, relief of not worrying about him, giving him his meds, cleaning up accidents, constant shedding. More time in morning to get ready and tend to our other dog. Even when he was young and healthy he would bark so much and didn’t like people in our house. So it was always hard to entertain. It just seemed a lot of stress lifted. Almost felt guilty for feeling relieved.
Grief is grief. Relief, guilt, regret, even a weird sense of freedom are all part of it. I find they all come in waves for a while. It will pass.
I think relief is a normal feeling after you have been dealing with an illness that ends in death. Being a care giver is stressful and a lot of work so when it ends that sense of relief is normal. It does not mean you are happy about the death or that you do not miss the being but rather freedom from all that stress has arrived. My mom battled lung cancer for 2.5 yrs and when she died my sister and I were staying at my parents home. The morning after she died my sister said ' this may sound weird but I feel relief this morning and that is not how I expected to feel" I felt that way too but knew my moms death meant her suffering was over as well as all of our stress from dealing with it was over so yeah there is that sense of relief. I have had a couple dogs with cancer and when I let them go that sense of relief was there so it is just a normal thing does not diminish the love you had for your dog.
I was devastated the day we had to put him down. I kept thinking if there was anything we could do. He was almost 11 (his breed is usually 10-12) lifespan....but was hoping he would live longer. I couldn’t eat that day or night and didn’t sleep well. But the next day while so sad and it felt so weird with out him, I also felt relief. Relief of him not suffering, relief of not worrying about him, giving him his meds, cleaning up accidents, constant shedding. More time in morning to get ready and tend to our other dog. Even when he was young and healthy he would bark so much and didn’t like people in our house. So it was always hard to entertain. It just seemed a lot of stress lifted. Almost felt guilty for feeling relieved.
Sorry for the loss of your dog.
No, there is nothing wrong with feeling both grief and relief after losing a pet.
I think it's normal to feel some sense of relief that the pet is no longer suffering, that you no longer have to worry about him/her and have more time for any other pets you have.
Don't feel guilty about it.
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