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Old 11-07-2010, 03:47 AM
 
5,617 posts, read 14,632,832 times
Reputation: 2798

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Hello, I have one problem and its a hard one for me because one I have been a people person and I start to feel manipulated when I get in these situations. I am into seriously heavy weights ( I am female) and because I am going heavy I can afford a trainer to work with for motivation and help with the heavy ones. I have had a trainer for years and what happened at the end of the relationship I felt used, manipulated and she became the trainer a social work problem. You see she was kind of broke and kept playing the victim role so had a hard time ending it, it ended bad and lines of business/friendship were all messed up.

Now I see it happening again with a new person and sooner. I do like her and thats were all the problems come in because we like each other and have so much in common, but need to bring this back to a business level with the new one. ITs STARTING ALL OVER. I am thinking of ending this due to I really dont want to in this direction again and it may be even worse over time due to her hating her marriage and using me for an excuse to get out of the house or do things personal with her. I cant go thur this again. She has a big show coming up in the bodybuilding world, and wants me to come. I just told her after 3 weeks of not replying THAT I DONT WANT TO GO and this is getting too personal. I need help. I always get sucked into these , people like me, I am funny and different and have the checkbook. I dont need to pay for friends I need a trainer and somehow these trainers are so broke that I become their bank book, they get greedy in my opinion, they need the sessions for me to pay them and then they want to act like my best friend. Then the next problem happens and that is breaking it off! They dont want to end it of course it all about the money and really not me, but they want to be my best friend to manipulate . Its becomes in my opinion very unprofessional. How can and what do I do, I really want to end this and find someone to start over with who can not pull this crap. However am I jumping the gun. I feel that I can get someone else to do this, there is nothing special about this one. Thanks Marilyn and one last thing, I feel scared. Thats strange but I feel like IM the bad guy and scared to tell the truth. HELP!!!!
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Old 11-07-2010, 05:11 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
5,726 posts, read 10,840,315 times
Reputation: 9780
You may be sending mixed signals, but tell her you need to maintain this as strictly a professional relationship. If she gets offended and gives you a hard time or persists in the behavior, then drop her. You don't owe her anything. Next time, be really clear before you hire somebody what you want out of the relationship.
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Old 11-07-2010, 05:12 AM
 
5,617 posts, read 14,632,832 times
Reputation: 2798
Quote:
Originally Posted by maf763 View Post
You may be sending mixed signals, but tell her you need to maintain this as strictly a professional relationship. If she gets offended and gives you a hard time or persists in the behavior, then drop her. You don't owe her anything. Next time, be really clear before you hire somebody what you want out of the relationship.
maybe I am sending mixed signals. I dont mean too. I will try and clear this up. Thanks
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