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Old 01-18-2013, 01:45 PM
 
145 posts, read 329,271 times
Reputation: 95

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Hi,

First of all, excuse my ignorance as I'm only 22 and have just started working, but after making a huge thread here a while back about how I'm unhappy with my job, after reflecting a bit more and talking to people, I'm thinking that a lot of my unhappiness stems from me comparing myself to others. For example, my Ivy League grad friend who graduated summa *** laude is working at GS and has what I consider to be a great salary in i-banking. However, after speaking with him, he laments that his 120k+ salary isn't enough for how expensive NYC (and since his job "requires" him to go to the bars with co-workers to try and attract a gold-digging trophy wife), how many hours he works, how boring the job is, etc. Another friend I know makes significantly less money, but he works in engineering at a top tech company and even he thinks his job is mind-numbing at times/irritating (although he doesn't care about his lower pay becuase he likes the theory of engineering).

My friend at Goldman Sachs "hates" his life, even though he's making a salary I'd love to have at the age of 27-28, forget about 22, because he compares himself to the people above him or in Private Equity/Hedge Funds who obviously earn way more (funny enough, even the dudes in PE aren't always that happy with their jobs). My friend in tech showed me that all jobs, even the ones that should be more technical in engineering, have lots of stuff that is unpleasurable and he only does what he truly loves about engineering maybe 30% of the time.

Therefore, this has led me to conclude that instead of comparing myself to how much money my friend at GS is making or how much more interesting my friend's tech job is, I need to continue to work hard no doubt, but also pursue other paths that will make me happy because no one's job/life is perfect, even if it seems that way on the outside. By constantly comparing and not doing what makes me happy, I'll always be miserable, even if I am Lloyd Blankfein or Henry Kravis.

Sorry if this sounds ignorant/my reasoning is flawed, but this is what I've concluded after thinking about my life.
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Old 01-18-2013, 02:05 PM
bg7
 
7,696 posts, read 9,468,671 times
Reputation: 15247
Comparing is always a loser's game. No matter what parameter it is, you'll find someone out there who beats it.

You need to discern what you find satisfying and long-term gratfiying.

As for your comment re. the i-banker trying to attract a gold-digging wife - that's ok because he's a modern day gold-digger himself. Whats the difference?
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Old 01-18-2013, 03:53 PM
 
103 posts, read 296,596 times
Reputation: 97
Im pretty close to your age (im 20) so I think can relate to what you are going through and hopefully be abel to give you advice. Don't ever compare yourself to anyone else, because you'll always lose. There is always someone that makes more money, has a bigger house, a better car, what I mean is there will always be somebody "bigger and better". Once you start focusing on yourself everything else will fall into place, and you'll always be in a state of improving and making yourself happier. When ever I start to feel inadequate in life, I alway look at the things I do have instead of the things I don't have.
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Old 01-18-2013, 04:53 PM
 
9,982 posts, read 7,714,307 times
Reputation: 5632
it's not how much you make, it's how much you keep.
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Old 01-18-2013, 07:55 PM
 
19,499 posts, read 26,967,822 times
Reputation: 38041
maturity begins, with not comparing yourself against anyone else's perceived wealth or success....

Im happy for people who do well....good for them,,,they are paying more taxes than I and some are stressed as can be..


its not having what you want....but wanting what you have

go for comfort...not speed


with maturity, comes peace- not from how others perceive you, but thru your own eyes
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Old 01-19-2013, 04:12 AM
 
3,932 posts, read 10,493,920 times
Reputation: 8064
This is actually one of the best discussions to have with anyone. You learned it early.

Beware the media of all kinds whose purpose is to make us unhappy with what we have and strive, thru purchases, to get more happiness which never seems to come or stay.

Contentment can only come from within.
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Old 01-20-2013, 10:22 AM
 
15,487 posts, read 21,532,155 times
Reputation: 17970
Fact is - nothing material ever made anyone happy. It can be denied, but like any fact, it is what it is - FACT.
The grass will always be greener, and there will always be a bigger, better deal out there, for one who seeks material gratification. Like any cravings, it's the never ending hunger for money, sex, power, possessions, and so on, and so on. That hunger can never be satisfied.
But it can be understood and controlled. It can be understood as futile, meaningless, and simply taken under control, like alcoholic's desire to drink.
Bigger effort should be dedicated to finding what one truly is, what his purpose in life is, and what to do, to accomplish this. Look at Steve Jobs. All the grandiose effort - and for what? Parished just like any panhandler on the corner.
Unfortunately, to realize this, sometimes takes lifetime. And peculiar thing about this is - opportunity, called life, is GONE. One thing you can not do, no matter how many digits there are in your account, is to reverse it.
Be well, and let The Light be with you. You were made aware.
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Old 01-20-2013, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Miami
195 posts, read 322,615 times
Reputation: 243
Quote:
Originally Posted by west_2_east View Post
Hi,

First of all, excuse my ignorance as I'm only 22 and have just started working, but after making a huge thread here a while back about how I'm unhappy with my job, after reflecting a bit more and talking to people, I'm thinking that a lot of my unhappiness stems from me comparing myself to others. For example, my Ivy League grad friend who graduated summa *** laude is working at GS and has what I consider to be a great salary in i-banking. However, after speaking with him, he laments that his 120k+ salary isn't enough for how expensive NYC (and since his job "requires" him to go to the bars with co-workers to try and attract a gold-digging trophy wife), how many hours he works, how boring the job is, etc. Another friend I know makes significantly less money, but he works in engineering at a top tech company and even he thinks his job is mind-numbing at times/irritating (although he doesn't care about his lower pay becuase he likes the theory of engineering).

My friend at Goldman Sachs "hates" his life, even though he's making a salary I'd love to have at the age of 27-28, forget about 22, because he compares himself to the people above him or in Private Equity/Hedge Funds who obviously earn way more (funny enough, even the dudes in PE aren't always that happy with their jobs). My friend in tech showed me that all jobs, even the ones that should be more technical in engineering, have lots of stuff that is unpleasurable and he only does what he truly loves about engineering maybe 30% of the time.

Therefore, this has led me to conclude that instead of comparing myself to how much money my friend at GS is making or how much more interesting my friend's tech job is, I need to continue to work hard no doubt, but also pursue other paths that will make me happy because no one's job/life is perfect, even if it seems that way on the outside. By constantly comparing and not doing what makes me happy, I'll always be miserable, even if I am Lloyd Blankfein or Henry Kravis.

Sorry if this sounds ignorant/my reasoning is flawed, but this is what I've concluded after thinking about my life.
My only advice is try to find a workplace you feel comfortable. Work will always be boring for most people but boring beats stressful workplaces. If you are not a social butterfly you will probably fit better in a smaller company. If you work in a company where there is a lot of competition and backstabbing(I didn't read all your past posts so I don't know) try to get out of that environment early on because you will probably get fired eventually in you are not part of "the click" or will be doing most of the work without any opportunity to speak up.

Yes working, saving and retiring early is probably the best path,unless you find some magical career that you can enjoy and make enough money for a decent retirement.
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Old 01-20-2013, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Here.
16,289 posts, read 14,909,063 times
Reputation: 19199
You're a very wise 22-year-old.
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