Various socio-economic system explained with the example of cows (capitalism, buy, sell)
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SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
State confiscates one and gives it to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State confiscates both and promises free milk for everyone.
Due to mismanagement, both cows die. The state announces there will be thousands of cows
during the next 5-year plan.
CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
US-STYLE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you demand three cows.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belongs to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a 'Democracy'.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office early and go for a few beers to celebrate.
AN AFGHANI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
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