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A wedding costs only as much as those spending the money are willing to pay, not one cent more.
Pressure is only what you accept. Learn to say "no" and don't worry about what everyone else wants, demands or say they need and things get much easier.
Spending money is a choice in almost all cases. Some people can control themselves, others cannot.
This.
There are two guilty parties on those wedding shows -- the bride and her enablers, the parents of the bride. Not the caterer, not the florist, not the place where the reception is being held, and not the people who sell wedding dresses.
My daughter watches those shows a lot and rhapsodizes over the beautiful wedding she's going to have. My wife simply asks, "And who is going to pay for that $30,000 wedding dress? Not me."
If your daughter wants an over-the-top Disneyfied wedding with everything including fire-breathing monkeys, and you say yes, don't complain later about the costs.
I know three people who had weddings away from the families/friends hoopla. Two couples married in Nevada. One in Vermont.
Wedding costs can be controlled easily. Not education costs.
If you think weddings are expensive, try the costs of divorces!
Case 1: A colleague of mine in 1999 told me he's on his third house and third wife. I did not ask if he lost the other houses.
Case 2: A different colleague of mine a few years ago confided he had to pay his ex wife $45,000 per year for four years in the divorce settlement, even though the children were old enough to leave home and work. Same guy walked back into the minefield and got married again.
I have people who are no longer speaking to me because I said "no" politely when invited to participate in their lavish weddings. I wasn't about to spend several hundred on a dress.
I saw one of those wedding shows before I cut off my cable TV. People have a right to spend *their* money however they please, but a 10K+ wedding isn't part of my frugal lifestyle, and all I could think of is what a nice down payment that would make on a house or paying down student loans.
I don't think wedding costs are really that out of control. Weddings have always been a way for wealthy people to show off how much money they have. It's more like now there is a lot of trickle down luxury spending, where not so wealthy people tend to overspend.
these types of shows brainwash women into thinking this is the way all weddings are and how they should all be, which is of course BS. I'd not marry a woman who demanded a wedding like the ones on TV, it shows a sort of sheepish, airheaded mentality on their part to swallow the media kool-aid, and she'll likely be a problem in the future when it comes to demanding expensive, unnecessary bling.
I have been watching all these wedding shows. The costs of everything are ridiculous. The gown prices are out of control and some brides feel the need to even buy two dresses one for the ceremony and one for the reception. The cost of the cake, the location, the catering so high how do they pay for it? All for one a one day event ... and how many of these people will even be together in 10 years?
It's not just weddings either. The pressure is on it seems in society to go all out for proms and bar/bat mitzvahs too with parents spending money that should be put into a college education.
Still I don't know if I should judge. I remember as a child looking at my mom's beautiful wedding photos over and over . She told me her father gave her the choice of a fancy wedding or he would just give them the money to start their lives together. She chose the wedding and never seemed to regret it.
I just think that people are under pressure these days to put on a show, and pay huge amounts of money for something that doesn't need to cost that much. Then they probably move on to a fancy house and a fancy car and next thing you know they are in debt. What does that do to people financially in life to live this way ?
Bridal shows are produced to be entertainment for those who would be inclined to watch such. They're not reality, so don't take them as such.
I DJed dozens of weddings over a period of several years and I can tell you the reality. The reality is that most people spend around $5,000 on a wedding, and very few go above $10,000. The largest cost is for the venue - usually that's a four-figure sum of money. With an average attendance of 100, food might cost $1,000 (usually they do buffet style, and even if it is a plated meal, the cost won't reach twice what it is for a buffet). I never got more than $650 to DJ anyone's wedding, and the average amount I'd be able to get was $450. (The Craigslist DJs charged half that amount and though I can talk some people into paying twice what a moonlighter charges for his "DJ services", the vast majority of those I talked with preferred hiring the cheap DJs regardless of quality. I knew a guy who ran a DJ service where they charged $250 for a four hour reception. He once asked me if I'd do one of his gigs because he had FIVE GIGS booked on on Saturday evening and only four available DJs. Not for the $200 you'd pay me, bucko!)
Most brides will buy a dress at David's Bridal or another similar store, for around $200-300. Most will ride off into the sunset using their own vehicle or the vehicle of someone else they know - less than half will hire a limo.
Though there will always be the one-percenters who can afford to spend nauseating sums of money on weddings, most people are sane about how much they spend. Heck, my wife and I eloped... neither we nor our families spent one red cent on our wedding (except for the cost of the gas we used driving to the church)... and we're still happily married, over three years later. There's no point to a big wedding. It sure doesn't increase the likelihood that the marriage will last.
I have been watching all these wedding shows. The costs of everything are ridiculous. The gown prices are out of control and some brides feel the need to even buy two dresses one for the ceremony and one for the reception. The cost of the cake, the location, the catering so high how do they pay for it? All for one a one day event ... and how many of these people will even be together in 10 years?
It's not just weddings either. The pressure is on it seems in society to go all out for proms and bar/bat mitzvahs too with parents spending money that should be put into a college education.
Still I don't know if I should judge. I remember as a child looking at my mom's beautiful wedding photos over and over . She told me her father gave her the choice of a fancy wedding or he would just give them the money to start their lives together. She chose the wedding and never seemed to regret it.
I just think that people are under pressure these days to put on a show, and pay huge amounts of money for something that doesn't need to cost that much. Then they probably move on to a fancy house and a fancy car and next thing you know they are in debt. What does that do to people financially in life to live this way ?
its only going to be as expensive as what the newly weds want it to be.
people keep forgetting a marriage is just a promise to be together nothing more nothing less.
before they spend so much on weddings they should make sure they can keep their promises rather than wasting their time, unfortunately people keep divorcing each other today as many people are just dishonest to themselves nowadays.
can it be expensive? yeah
usually sorry girls its your fault because you goad the guys into spending more money... feminists should be against this btw since you are all for being the guy in the relationship right? cough cough.
can it be cheap sure just sign the papers
and have a small dinner with close friends
be done with it.
can be as cheap as a few hundred dollars or less.
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