can we really blame young people for living at home longer (extension, economic)
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Not that many people just starting out "have their act together."
Even of those that do, not all will have compatible personal habits that make them suitable long-term roommates.
Even of those who do, not all have compatible near-term, mid-term, and long-term goals that would make for a long-term room mate relationship.
Meh....sounds like excuse making to me.
Ncole rents a room. I did it from age 26 to 35 in several different places. My experience varied from ok to good.
The key is to rent from someone who owns the house...usually a reasonably stable older person whose financial situation is a little shaky, but not dire.
If young adults have been told the world outside of home is dangerous then I can see why they would want to stay home.
The world is not as brutal as people think. We only hear the horrid things on the news and rarely anything positive.
Let the kids go and experiment. Hard knocks are good for you. You made it okay.
I would never live with a non family member again and if I had kids who wanted to be home, I would let them as long as they weren't losers. Unless the kid or you can afford to buy a house or condo and the bills don't rely on roommates then forget it. Young people are crazy and you're either going to get screwed or be the one screwing someone. Roommate situations work better for guys than girls but I still think it's ok to live at home as long as everyone is happy. If you're damaging your kid by not allowing them to have a life because you don't want to be alone or if the kid is living the high life because you pay the bills then that's not ok.
It's not even that the world is scary. It's more that a lot of parents don't prepare them and they move out but are back in 6-12 months with a bunch of bad credit from leaving apartment leases and not paying utilities. Either get them ready to be gone for good or you're stuck with them for awhile since they ruined their credit.
I have lived alone and with roommates but I've never been happier than when I lived with my grandma. Some family members degraded me thinking I was some kind of loser. I was lmao bc I was with the person I love the most, helping her, paying for repairs she couldn't afford, saving money, etc meanwhile most of them were depending on men to get by. I'd rather be playing cards with my grandma than sleeping with a guy I don't like.
Bottom line is that everyone is different and it's not a sign of being a loser if you live with family. If you're going to be a loser, you're going to be a loser anyway. You will just find a nice person who thinks you're a friend or get into a convenient romantic relationship and take advantage of them. My grandma cried when I moved and asked me everyday to come home. I was planning on it but she died before I got a chance. Even up to the day before she died "when you coming home? I miss you so much"
It always confounded me, as to why it is so imperative in American culture for young-adults to leave the parental hearth, or for elderly people to not importune their now middle-aged children with request for domicile or care-giving. Why such zealous rush to independence? Why it is considered to be disreputable and even mildly disgusting, for say two siblings, each with their own nuclear family, to share a house? We have so many McMansions in this country, some in prime locations, with excellent property appreciation. 6 bedrooms, 5 baths. Could this not house grandma and grandpa, their 35-year-old son, his wife and three kids, another son, a daughter and her husband, a bachelor uncle, and so forth? Why is this considered to be silly and uncouth, or suited only to marginalized persons, or to those hailing from cultures not fondly regarded by mainstream American opinion?
It always confounded me, as to why it is so imperative in American culture for young-adults to leave the parental hearth, or for elderly people to not importune their now middle-aged children with request for domicile or care-giving. Why such zealous rush to independence? Why it is considered to be disreputable and even mildly disgusting, for say two siblings, each with their own nuclear family, to share a house? We have so many McMansions in this country, some in prime locations, with excellent property appreciation. 6 bedrooms, 5 baths. Could this not house grandma and grandpa, their 35-year-old son, his wife and three kids, another son, a daughter and her husband, a bachelor uncle, and so forth? Why is this considered to be silly and uncouth, or suited only to marginalized persons, or to those hailing from cultures not fondly regarded by mainstream American opinion?
Well when these uncles, aunts, in laws, etc. move out, you end up with a McMansion that you don't need and may be hard to sell. I know someone who was in a family like this growing up, and his mom is so emotionally attached to the house that she simply won't sell it, even if everyone moves out. The adult kids stay home in order to help her maintain that enormous house that she can't handle by herself. If my mom tried to do that, I'd move out and tell her to pound sand. I'm willing to help my parents do some incidental work on their houses when I go visit, but staying at home because they can't handle the house? Really?
It always confounded me, as to why it is so imperative in American culture for young-adults to leave the parental hearth, or for elderly people to not importune their now middle-aged children with request for domicile or care-giving. Why such zealous rush to independence? Why it is considered to be disreputable and even mildly disgusting, for say two siblings, each with their own nuclear family, to share a house? We have so many McMansions in this country, some in prime locations, with excellent property appreciation. 6 bedrooms, 5 baths. Could this not house grandma and grandpa, their 35-year-old son, his wife and three kids, another son, a daughter and her husband, a bachelor uncle, and so forth? Why is this considered to be silly and uncouth, or suited only to marginalized persons, or to those hailing from cultures not fondly regarded by mainstream American opinion?
I don't think this is an American culture alone. I think you are mistaken if you think this is.
It always confounded me, as to why it is so imperative in American culture for young-adults to leave the parental hearth, or for elderly people to not importune their now middle-aged children with request for domicile or care-giving. Why such zealous rush to independence? Why it is considered to be disreputable and even mildly disgusting, for say two siblings, each with their own nuclear family, to share a house? We have so many McMansions in this country, some in prime locations, with excellent property appreciation. 6 bedrooms, 5 baths. Could this not house grandma and grandpa, their 35-year-old son, his wife and three kids, another son, a daughter and her husband, a bachelor uncle, and so forth? Why is this considered to be silly and uncouth, or suited only to marginalized persons, or to those hailing from cultures not fondly regarded by mainstream American opinion?
Points well-taken, Ohio.... and while I'm not a historian, I suspect this notion that every adult must have his/her separate household is a "norm" limited mostly to post-WWII middle-class WASP America. A century ago, when a much bigger percent of the population lived on farms, it was probably common to find multiple generations in the same home.
It's not all about money. Real growth occurs when you are on your own and emancipated. Sink or swim. Starvation is a great motivator. Not in all cases but is true for many.
Points well-taken, Ohio.... and while I'm not a historian, I suspect this notion that every adult must have his/her separate household is a "norm" limited mostly to post-WWII middle-class WASP America. A century ago, when a much bigger percent of the population lived on farms, it was probably common to find multiple generations in the same home.
The part about caring for elderly parents then vs now has a lot to do with the end of the single income family. A child usually can't afford to not be in the workforce for years. There was a study and iirc the lifetime cost of a child caring for a parent for 10 years instead of earning 50k at work was over a million dollars. If you're a single person it could ruin your whole life. It's sad but it's how it is nowadays.
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