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Frugality can be a mania bordering on mental illness. Maybe not to Hetty Green levels, but short of being part of a religious order that emphasizes poverty, denying yourself and family small, reasonably-priced comforts and conveniences is carrying it too far.
Which is why I've never advocated frugalism or minimalism as part of more sensible consumer thinking. You simply don't have to go that far other than for moral or religious reasons that control your life choices.
Also, shopping/spending can be a mania bordering on mental illness.
Mathematical absolute: exactly half the people are more frugal than the median. A few to an extreme. The other half will be less frugal.
It would be nice if everybody was sensible, but don't look forward to that happening any time soon.
I know a lot of frugal people, I travel in those circles. I've never met one who denies small reasonably priced comforts. They are just selective about them I consider myself to be extremely frugal. But I've flown around the world twice in the past several years, visiting 30 countries on every continent. I fly cut rate airlines and sleep in airports during stopovers, and hostel bunks on the road. I travel, but I do it frugally.
Also, shopping/spending can be a mania bordering on mental illness.
Of course it can. But I think we tolerate - accept - even admire people who are shopping mavens more than we have any positive attitude towards someone who eats their canned soup cold because they're too cheap to heat it up. Of course, there's no conglomerates selling the idea of cold split pea soup to us.
Of course it can. But I think we tolerate - accept - even admire people who are shopping mavens more than we have any positive attitude towards someone who eats their canned soup cold because they're too cheap to heat it up. Of course, there's no conglomerates selling the idea of cold split pea soup to us.
Uncritically, we tolerate, accept and admire those whom the media tells us to admire. The media exists for no other reason than to glorify "shopping-mavenhood".
The frugal don't eat canned soup at all. They make healthy, nutritious soup for half the cost.
I fly cut rate airlines and sleep in airports during stopovers, and hostel bunks on the road. I travel, but I do it frugally.
This would be an example that I consider extreme frugality for anyone (arbitrary number alert) over age 30.
Sleeping in airports on stopovers I get, airports in hotels are expensive and you have transportation and sometimes immigration costs to get to hotels outside the airport zone. However being the creepy old guy sleeping in the bunks of the hostel among the dreadlocked masses coming and going all hours, no thanks. I'd do it in a pinch but as a grownup that's just one level above those folks who sleep at the train station to save a few bucks over a hostel or have lots of fast-food ketchup packets to mix with white rice for meals.
THIS IS long because your post has so many less than true statements!!
First, i put part of your text in red, to talk about your comments about being alone with no one to help. THANKFULLY everyone doesn't think like you! There are wonderful people who are willing to help, give advice, listen to, share their own success, But to have great anger towards people who are struggling? Not helpful, actually hurtful. AND hurtful to you too! Stress and anger hurts the speaker!
I have experienced success... With the help of otbers.
I received two Photographer of the Month for over-all job performance in a studio photography co. (2 out of 5 years because we could only be awarded once a year, then be entered into the year contest.(And no I didn't win those and I missed trips to Hawaii. Booohooo )
I also serviced as an AmeriCorps service twice, nine years a part.
In both jobs I was given the opportunity and assistance to learn. AmeriCorps- a teacher tutored/ helped me learn what I needed to know to train my literacy volunteers and I was told the volunteers knew how to do their job!!
Could I have done it with out help, don't know. I didn't have to find out, thankfully! People care and support others.
Please read more comments I have about the bolded sections.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy12345678
People need to take responsibility for their situation in life. If you've backed yourself into a corner due to unwise life choices (having unwanted children, marrying a bad partner, working crappy jobs, etc), you have no one to blame but yourself!
I've avoided those mistakes and life and have some semblance of self control and restraint, so I've managed to improve my lot in life through sheer willpower. Imagine that? I was unsatisfied with where I was in life, I scarified, somewhat controlled my impulses (I know it's hard!) and invested wisely with my money (i.e. saving up and purchasing a cheap car instead of shackling myself to monthly car payments, still have had only two in my entire life, one for each vehicle I own!) and things got better.
BTW I'm by no means what I'd call "successful" yet, as I'm only 23 and still have my whole life ahead of me at this point. It's a constant struggle everyday to improve my living situation, as I'm always looking to make things better, never want to be stagnant and complacent!
If you're poor, as I've been many times in my life, and you're expecting "the stars" to align and change your fortune or some kind of hand out, you're in for a rude awakening! Take charge of your own life and make it what you want or shut the hell up and be life's *****! Because NEWSFLASH, NOBODY else cares whether you are successful or not, YOU and you alone determine that!!!
"It takes constant effort to be happy, it takes nothing to be miserable!" - Me
"Men are not against you, they are merely for themselves." - Gene Fowler
I've bolded your text that have pretty broad assumptions.
Number 1: you say it's no one's fault but your own.
Actually your circumstances can change no fault of your own. Blaming others or even yourself isn't fair or helpful. Having compassion and understanding is. Reaching , saying you can do it is even better.
Number 2
You might give yourself a heart attack if you constantly fret and worry about making it. Yes, keep update on job openings, learning a new skill is great. Spending time to excess doing this instead of taking time to enjoy life, not good or helpful. Stress can make you sick! Finding a balance to your work, family time and just plan fun! < Key to success and happiness.
Number 3
Nobody cares about you but you and you alone.
Not true, you can look and find mentors, teachers, family...etc who care. A more true statement would be no one cares for your success as much as you do. No one has as much at stake as you. Work hard to succeed. But work smarter, seeking out resouces, people as well as yourself.
Last edited by Wild Flower; 01-27-2018 at 07:09 AM..
People need to take responsibility for their situation in life. If you've backed yourself into a corner due to unwise life choices (having unwanted children, marrying a bad partner, working crappy jobs, etc), you have no one to blame but yourself!
I've avoided those mistakes and life and have some semblance of self control and restraint, so I've managed to improve my lot in life through sheer willpower. Imagine that? I was unsatisfied with where I was in life, I scarified, somewhat controlled my impulses (I know it's hard!) and invested wisely with my money (i.e. saving up and purchasing a cheap car instead of shackling myself to monthly car payments, still have had only two in my entire life, one for each vehicle I own!) and things got better.
BTW I'm by no means what I'd call "successful" yet, as I'm only 23
I'm just wondering why, at age 23, that you feel compelled to give life advice.
We've owned our current two cars longer than you've had your license.
I agree with you that people need to take responsibility for their choices, but many things happen out of your control. You lose your job because your company gets bought out or closes. You go through a divorce. You or someone in your family has a serious health issue. You are a victim of a violent crime.
I'm glad you've avoided the intentional life mistakes so far and hope you'll be able to navigate through any of the unexpected issues that may hit you as you get older. Best of luck to you.
Ignoring small fixes that turn into big expensive repairs is just not wise. This applies to car, homes, appliances, leaks, etc.
"Penny-wise and Pound Foolish" is the quote that comes to minds.
On the personal level, being cheap means you keep buying poorly-made shoes that hurt your feet and fall apart or you can buy a pair or two of well-made shoes that fit well, look good and last almost forever with good care.
Buying the well-made shoes while on sale is being frugal.
I'm just wondering why, at age 23, that you feel compelled to give life advice.
We've owned our current two cars longer than you've had your license.
The age thing made me chuckle too... I've been driving one of my cars for exactly as long as this youngn' has been alive (and the second just a couple years less).
But, on the same count, by 23 I'd been to college on scholarship, flunked out, disowned, homeless through a Montana winter, back on my feet and into a $50k/year job through lots of hustle/hard work. Add a couple more years and I went through a trade school, so broke I had to borrow money for rent and food and back into another IT job making a little less than that first lightning strike (and completely killed a passion in the process). One can have a lot of life experiences by 23....
I used to get customers who balked at the bids. Ok you don’t like the price. That’s fine. But when we talked you wanted all this stuff so I bid how you wanted the work. I’m not hanging that multi crystal chandelier that needs to be put together relocated mounting position and it has a 2 hr assembly time for $40. Anyway. ....
They either start trying to cut corners on the design to lower the price or expect me to cut corners. What I found out is that if I start cutting corners the job isn’t to standards and in the end I get stuck trying to fix it on my dime. So I simply don’t do it. Find someone else.
Some of those people come back with the “we have a friend who can do it for (insert some ridiculously low amount usually 1/3-1/2 of my bid) but we like you and we would rather you get the job. Yeah ok.
First of all nice of you to screw a friend over if it’s true.
Second. That friend doesn’t exist. Guaranteed. You’re simply trying to get me to do 10k worth of work for 3-5k. Not gonna happen. And if anyone does those jobs (besides losing their azz) what ends up happening is those same people who “generously bestowed the honor of allowing you to work in the Taj Mahal “ are the same people who will whine and cry to heaven about how you’re taking advantage and screwing them. These types are the reason I completely got out of residential service and construction. I’ll go help a friend out on something small but that’s about it. Want your house wired? Call someone.
They aren’t frugal. They are simply cheap bottom of the barrel customers. And I refused to take them. I learned really fast to walk away. These same people either have no contractor who wants to work with them or the contractor can’t wait to get done and put them on his black list of never work with again. If no contractor wants to work with you it’s not them. It’s you.
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