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Boy, when someone dies the vultures come out of the woodwork, don't they ? ?
I wouldn't classify children of the deceased as "vultures" as it's perfectly reasonable for them to anticipate that they might inherit something. We don't know much about the OP's relationship with his/her parents, either. Some people have actually done a lot for their parents only to be cut out of the will later on, and left wondering. Sometimes an elderly person is suffering from dementia when they make changes to their will, also. There are many ways in which the adult child could be left wondering "why".
It's judgmental to jump to the conclusion that a disinherited person abandoned his parent(s).
That is why a parent would be wise to state in their will, exactly why they are giving less to one sibling than the other. So that the kids will know and won't be left wondering why, because those questions can't be answered from the grave.
I wonder if the divisiveness would be avoided in cases where all financials are POD? Since that money is not in a will, the only way siblings would know, is if they are doing comparisons like little kids.
I expect my sister and I to get wildly different inheritances. I'm well off, I'm stable, I have a job, my husband has a job, and I make probably 10x the income of my sister, I have savings, investments, my kids have college funds, I'm in the top 15% of income earners in the country, with free medical and dental from my employer, etc. My sister struggles, she has no college, makes minimum wage, no insurance, unreliable car, etc. I would expect her to get nearly all of the inheritance, hopefully in a trust so she can't blow it. I don't need it. She does. I would not have any hurt feelings at all. If I received the inheritance I'd give it to her.
My husband has multiple siblings. He is the most well off of any of them. One really struggles. I would not expect my husband to get an equal share when his parents pass. Our household income is more than his parents, so I would actually expect that we'd get no inheritance, and we would foot the funeral costs, while I would hope his struggling sibling would get the inheritance or life insurance.
I would make the same decision with my own children. It has nothing to do with love, or fairness.
Inheritance, to me, isn't a reward. It's not a prize. It's a parent's last way of making sure their children are looked after and taken care of. If one child needs more help, more care, that child should get more. The inheritance is a parent's last way of making life better/easier for their child. Not all children need that. Some do.
Last edited by dmarie123; 06-19-2018 at 07:47 PM..
If there was no reason given to why there was an unequal division, I would wonder - was she "the favorite", did I disappoint them in some way, did they not love me as much, etc. I would have an emotional reaction to why they didn't see us as being equally deserving versus the amount.
Greed will tear a family apart, if you allow it. So don't allow it. You each ended up with the amount that your parents intended for you to have. You need to come to terms with that and not let it affect your relationship with your siblings.
Why is inheritance tied to love?
I be the OP and her siblings had different financial needs, so it was based on their financial situations. Does one have 7 kids who need to go to college, and the other has decided never to have kids? Did one hit the lottery and the other is homeless? Etc.
The only "problems" created are apparent problems in the minds of people who wish to entertain such ideas.
Those people can entertain those apparent problems for as long as they wish, or they can expend their energy on more fruitful and beneficial matters.
Yes, it does create a problem when a will is legally contested. It creates a problem for the person who stands to inherit most or all of the money, as their right to inherit is now jeopardized and they may incur significant legal expenses in fighting the person who wants their share.
When my grandfather passed he left the majority of his estate to my brother and I. My parents didn't receive anything nor did my two cousinsv, aunt or uncle.
I am not sure why he excluded my cousins, but their mom ( my aunt) had terrible relationship with him ( her dad).
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