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In talking with other parents, online or in real life, it is interesting to me how many parents speak of their children as being exceptionally bright. If they have 3 kids, they are all exceptionally bright.
Does anyone have 'average' kids anymore? Why is it a bad thing to have a child who is in the middle of the pack?
I asked a teacher friend of mine how many TRULY gifted kids she had seen in her class. Her answer was that in 12 years of teaching, only ONE.
Don't tell that to all the parents whose kids are special though.
I asked a teacher friend of mine how many TRULY gifted kids she had seen in her class. Her answer was that in 12 years of teaching, only ONE.
Don't tell that to all the parents whose kids are special though.
I find that amazing given that about 1% of the population is gifted. I've been a teacher for two years and I've seen twice that number already. I've seen many more who just think they're gifted.
I do agree that what we label as gifted is questionable. Seems anyone who is above average gets the label and anyone below average is special ed. There is a, definite, drive for parents to have their child labeled as special one way or the other.
I find that amazing given that about 1% of the population is gifted. I've been a teacher for two years and I've seen twice that number already. I've seen many more who just think they're gifted.
I do agree that what we label as gifted is questionable. Seems anyone who is above average gets the label and anyone below average is special ed. There is a, definite, drive for parents to have their child labeled as special one way or the other.
You make a good point here. What do we define as "gifted" as opposed to just smart or even very smart?
Average is average for a reason; it's the middle of something, the norm. If so many kids were exceptional, then there would have to be as many on the very low end as well, with the most being in between. That's how it works.
For some reason people have established a game/competition out of multiplying themselves. It really has nothing to do with the kids, the competition is between the parents. The kids are the game pieces.
I don't know where the mentality came from that each person must be better than the next, each child better than someone elses. I didn't grow up that way.
Just take a peek at the parenting forum. Mothers compete for who has the most expensive stroller, the most expensive sports for their kids, the most popular sports for their kids (LAX seems to be big right now.). It's astounding how many say their kids are in AP or G/T classes. Each one's child or children is/are better than their peers.
It's the parent's compitition.
Nobody wants a loser for a child. It would make them look bad.
Last edited by NoExcuses; 07-03-2010 at 12:37 PM..
People look at their children as a reflection of themselves and if their children aren't "exceptionally bright" then maybe they as parents aren't either and this would hurt their respective egos. But, once the kids are placed in advanced classes, their grades will reflect whether or not they are truly exceptional.
People look at their children as a reflection of themselves and if their children aren't "exceptionally bright" then maybe they as parents aren't either and this would hurt their respective egos. But, once the kids are placed in advanced classes, their grades will reflect whether or not they are truly exceptional.
My contention is that, while a good number of children are smart, and some of them are even very smart, those who are "exceptional" are few and far between.
Parents talk about "exceptionally bright" when what they really mean is "smart" and even then they probably exaggerate a bit.
In real life, most people are "sloggers". They get by through application, attention to detail and hard work. Yes, they are often smart in that they can work on complex problems, they have the ability to learn and to apply that learning to future problem solving and they can multi-task. But very very few are genuinely creative and very few have genuine insight. And, to be honest, our educational system and society does not encourage that kind of creativity and insight. After all, we want kids to give us the "right" answers, not "new" answers.
My oldest is slightly gifted. What I have learned is that what gifted really equals (from our own experiences to those of several friends) is having trouble in the classroom. They are bored or inside their own heads and therefore act out or don't do classwork or bring up a random subject in the middle of math. I agree with the few other earlier posters who say they don't worry about their average child's future success but do over their 'gifted' child. I worry about him socially, I worry about keeping his motivation going in school, I worry about him thinking he is smarter than everyone else, I worry about him missing key information/knowledge because he thinks he doesn't have to listen because he already knows the subject at hand.
Then I worry that I will end up ignoring my youngest son's needs because I'm preoccupied with helping my oldest succeed.
And for the record: It was other people constantly swooning over my oldest that gave him a big head. I now have the task of trying to keep him grounded without scarring his little ego. Actually, it wasn't too hard before this last move because he always had best friends that were as smart or smarter than him (and they were all girls...hmmm...).
I haven't ran into bragging people until this year. A fellow mom on FB put that "as usual, T is at the top of his class, the top student in math and reading at a 2nd grade level." Well, I volunteer in the classroom once a week and know that "T" is an average student, but a hard worker (partly because of a mother who is never satisfied), and that he was far from the best reader. There was a lot to be proud of "T" for, but she obviously feels the need to appear to be above others and have a perfect life (which follows suit from other things I know about this woman). It bothered me, but I didn't call her on it because what good would it do? Maybe she really believes what she wrote.
My oldest is slightly gifted. What I have learned is that what gifted really equals (from our own experiences to those of several friends) is having trouble in the classroom. They are bored or inside their own heads and therefore act out or don't do classwork or bring up a random subject in the middle of math. I agree with the few other earlier posters who say they don't worry about their average child's future success but do over their 'gifted' child. I worry about him socially, I worry about keeping his motivation going in school, I worry about him thinking he is smarter than everyone else, I worry about him missing key information/knowledge because he thinks he doesn't have to listen because he already knows the subject at hand.
I've heard the exact same thing about ADHD.
I believe the teacher who taught for 12 years and has known only one truely gifted child.
My sister was smart. Her teacher wanted her to skip a grade, but my mother declined. She was smart, but not gifted. A lot of kids are smart but not gifted.
My oldest was friends with a Panamanian girl who, in seventh grade was taking college math classes. She was very smart, but not gifted.
The bar seems to have been lowered over the years to accommodate parents who think their kids are above the norm. Instead of saying they're smart, they say they're gifted and need special classes and treatment. It inflates the child's ego, and does wonders for the parents' egos. Makes them feel they produced something really special instead of a normal kid like everybody else.
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