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I am a senior in high school and for the last three years I really been a loner and really haven't had any close friends,I don't talk to anyone over the phone,or hang out with anyone outside of school,people who I try to talk to act like they don't want nothing to do with me,or if I start hanging out with someone who seems decent they always turn out to be trouble,such as ditching class,talking back to teacher,etc.Please help me,can you give me any advice? Is this is just how high school is or is this how life is? Or is high school what you make it?
Frist do you particiate in any school activities. If not I suggest you do so. Life is alos like that in that people who have common interest tend to become friends. ypou alos can hangout with people who drink;go to bars etc just like the3ones you describe in school.
High school is what you make of it. If you chose to be a loner, that is what you will be. If you want to change that, join a club, sport, activity to meet people and form relationships. Our oldest was pretty shy and quiet in high school and had a circle of about 10 kids that he did things with but really didn't join any clubs or participate in anything after his sophomore year. Our DD knows EVERYONE in school and our youngest is more like our oldest but is involved in a lot of activities and has friends from those.
I am a senior in high school and for the last three years I really been a loner and really haven't had any close friends,I don't talk to anyone over the phone,or hang out with anyone outside of school,people who I try to talk to act like they don't want nothing to do with me,or if I start hanging out with someone who seems decent they always turn out to be trouble,such as ditching class,talking back to teacher,etc.Please help me,can you give me any advice? Is this is just how high school is or is this how life is? Or is high school what you make it?
High school can be a problem, but... you can make things better.
Do you have any interests? Are there clubs at your school? If not at school, perhaps find something you like you can take a class in outside of school - dance, art, martial arts, etc. Don't rule out anything.
Do you like to read? Is there a book club at the local library for kids your age? Is there a local coffee house that the readers hang out at?
Do you like music? Perhaps you can take a class in guitar or join a choir.
Do you like computers? Can you take a computer class at a local community college?
What is your favorite school subject? Are there any kids in those classes who might share that interest outside of school?
Do you enjoy a sport? Perhaps you can find a non-competitive league to play in.
You will have better luck if you start with something you love to do and find others who like it too.
Hey, I was in your shoes when in high school. I came to high school with one best friend and some aquaintances. The best friend was in NONE of my classes, except for gym where we had the same gym period but were not in the same classes. It was very tough at first, but I started talking to some people in my classes. A little conversation here and there turned some into friendships and most into either acquaintances or one-time chat sessions with another person. Mind you, I do not talk to a lot of people; I like to keep the friends list short.
Some helpful tips:
Join a club: A club, whether sporty/academic/recreational, is a great way to meet some new people. What are some of your favorite hobbies? Anything you're passionate about in particular?
Workforce: Are you currently employed? If so, you can meet some cool new people at your job!
Also, high school is not the end-all-be-all, so I wouldn't stress out too much. If you are planning to go to college/university or any post-secondary education institution, you have another chance to make some friends at school. There's life after high school, lol! Don't worry, you will make friends in your own time and in your own way. Please keep us posted on how you're doing! We'd love to hear from you!
Wishing you the best!
~stressedCollegeGirl89
p.s. you can always be friends with me!!! (I am an actual REAL person, hehe!) Hope you are a real person too, lolz!
I am a senior in high school and for the last three years I really been a loner and really haven't had any close friends,I don't talk to anyone over the phone,or hang out with anyone outside of school,people who I try to talk to act like they don't want nothing to do with me,or if I start hanging out with someone who seems decent they always turn out to be trouble,such as ditching class,talking back to teacher,etc.Please help me,can you give me any advice? Is this is just how high school is or is this how life is? Or is high school what you make it?
To some extent, I think that's life. It's what you make out of it. But, that said, you might have an easier time meeting people once you graduate; sometimes high school can be a little bubble, especially if most people are meeting their friends through extracurricular activities and you're not involved in those. You could join groups and start trying to meet someone that way, but if you're not into that then don't worry about it too much; maybe try to organize some casual study groups (we did that for things like AP tests, or for classes with group projects) or invite people to casual things like coffee after school. Do you have some regular people you eat lunch with? Otherwise, don't discount looking outside of school for friends; you might have more in common with people who you meet through volunteering, through a job, or some other non-school venue. And if you are trying to make friends at school, just keep trying. At least you'll start to know people, even if just very casually, and maybe some of them will become good friends. Some (or even many) won't, and that's okay, too.
The thing about high school is that you don't really get to choose the people around you. You are at a school because that's where your parents live or sent you. And the people are around you because they also attend that school. You don't really have the option of leaving and finding another group of people.
The rest of your life won't be like that. After high school you can pretty much choose what people you surround yourself with. You can choose which college you go to (if you go). You can choose who you live with (and where and how). You can choose who you study with. When you get a job, you can choose what kind of company and people you work with and for. You can choose what kind of neighborhood to live in. You can make your own friends that have nothing to do with where you live or work. When you are an adult you can create a whole new identity for yourself.
And as an adult you can re-create and re-create again, if you want. If at any point, you decide you don't like the kind of people you've been hanging around, you can resolve to change that, and then go do that. And because you are an adult you aren't stuck in the same school and the same classes with them.
It is important to remember though, that there's nothing wrong with being a loner. If you can't find people you like, don't settle for hanging out with people who you don't like or have poor values, just to have someone to hang out with. Better to be alone.
My daughter is fairly social and makes friends easily but in high school, by the time she was a senior, she had either written off most of kids in her class or they had written her off. She spent most of her time alone, or with the 2 or 3 kids she knew who didn't go to her school. College changed all that!
I agree with others...try to join some clubs. If there are sports you like, try out for them. Consider also no cut sports (in our area cross country, swim and track to allow any student who signs up to participate). My daughter is NOT a runner but joined track and made some really, really nice friends (not close, but the kind she speaks to in the halls and hangs out with at the meets). Being in the school play (even as tech. crew behind the scenes) is also a good way to make friends.
Also, go to the guidance office and offer to be a 'Big Sisiter' to a student new to your school and area (kids coming into a school in the later years often really need this service). You may end up making a friend this way.
Finally, if things just do not click this last year of high school, don't worry. College offers a new experience. Remember, shows like High School Musical are not real. Most kids get by with a few friends and a club or sport and working part time.
Hang in there. My brother was MR. Popular in high school. I got by with a few friends. Now, 20+ years later it really does not matter who was in the yearbook more!
Taben
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