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Old 01-03-2011, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Anchorage
4,061 posts, read 9,850,946 times
Reputation: 2350

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Just saw in the news an Anchorage choral teacher was arrested for sexual abuse of at least two of his students. My daughter wanted to be in his class but couldn't because it was full....whew!

 
Old 01-03-2011, 08:38 PM
 
Location: VA
549 posts, read 1,926,042 times
Reputation: 348
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
Parents should always exercise caution and not assume that just because someone is a "mentor", teacher, coach, police officer, judge, priest, etc....the person should automatically be allowed to have unlimited and/or inappropriate access to their child.
Hey, if the parent allows for any person to have unlimited or inappropriate access to his or her child, that parent needs to be thrown in jail for negligence.

But anyway, I really think you're going on a tangent here.

The discussion is about a mom concerned about the intentions of a janitor with her son. Her reasons for being uncomfortable is that the janitor seems to be focusing only on her son and he's a janitor (an adult with no need to speak with her son).

To go along with that, someone thought that there's something wrong with adults befriending children. I disagreed, which is why I brought up mentoring programs as being successful programs that foster adult and child relationships.

You replied with several articles of adults taking advantage of those mentoring programs. But the question is, does that disprove my argument?
 
Old 01-03-2011, 08:56 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,258 posts, read 22,465,167 times
Reputation: 19593
Quote:
Originally Posted by endersshadow View Post
Hey, if the parent allows for any person to have unlimited or inappropriate access to his or her child, that parent needs to be thrown in jail for negligence.

But anyway, I really think you're going on a tangent here.

The discussion is about a mom concerned about the intentions of a janitor with her son. Her reasons for being uncomfortable is that the janitor seems to be focusing only on her son and he's a janitor (an adult with no need to speak with her son).

To go along with that, someone thought that there's something wrong with adults befriending children. I disagreed, which is why I brought up mentoring programs as being successful programs that foster adult and child relationships.

You replied with several articles of adults taking advantage of those mentoring programs. But the question is, does that disprove my argument?
I was not attempting to disprove your statement. I was addressing the general attitude of some of the previous posts that were telling the OP that she was being "overprotective" or "overreacting" when she was responding to a gut feeling regarding the welfare of her child.

My main point is that parents need to be cautious no matter what title someone happens to have. There is a tendency to let one's guard down because so-and-so is a minister or a firefighter or a priest or a rabbi or a doctor, etc.

I do not understand the pushback for providing relevant information.
 
Old 01-03-2011, 09:27 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,656,471 times
Reputation: 20851
Because you are being reactionary. The adult in question is not a person in authority, he did not have unlimited or inappropriate access to the child, etc. Only 10% of children molested are abused by a stranger. Should the mother be concerned? Sure, that is the job of the parent, but the job a rational adult is to also not be a reactionary, illogical person. I think the OP was being both cautious and logical, good for her.

But I will 100% say that MANY people in here have been reactionary to the point of irrationality. No crime was committed here. No one was hurt, abused or in anyway made to feel bad. But the things you posted made it appear as if your were assuming this mans guilt. Maybe you did not mean that, but that is the way it came across to some of us in this thread.

And not for nothing but children are very sensitive and able to pick up nuiance even if they do not understand the big picture, it is easy to make them fearful and scared and NO child should be AFRAID. Cautious, trust their own instinct, etc, but not afraid.
 
Old 01-03-2011, 09:29 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,656,471 times
Reputation: 20851
Quote:
Originally Posted by gobrien View Post
Just saw in the news an Anchorage choral teacher was arrested for sexual abuse of at least two of his students. My daughter wanted to be in his class but couldn't because it was full....whew!
And you think your high school aged daughter would have been a victim?
 
Old 01-03-2011, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Anchorage
4,061 posts, read 9,850,946 times
Reputation: 2350
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
And you think your high school aged daughter would have been a victim?
What a weird question, she is just glad she didn't get in the class. She's in middle school.
 
Old 01-04-2011, 12:01 AM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,258 posts, read 22,465,167 times
Reputation: 19593
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Because you are being reactionary. The adult in question is not a person in authority, he did not have unlimited or inappropriate access to the child, etc. Only 10% of children molested are abused by a stranger. Should the mother be concerned? Sure, that is the job of the parent, but the job a rational adult is to also not be a reactionary, illogical person. I think the OP was being both cautious and logical, good for her.

But I will 100% say that MANY people in here have been reactionary to the point of irrationality. No crime was committed here. No one was hurt, abused or in anyway made to feel bad. But the things you posted made it appear as if your were assuming this mans guilt. Maybe you did not mean that, but that is the way it came across to some of us in this thread.

And not for nothing but children are very sensitive and able to pick up nuiance even if they do not understand the big picture, it is easy to make them fearful and scared and NO child should be AFRAID. Cautious, trust their own instinct, etc, but not afraid.
This is the reason why I posted earlier in the thread about the grooming process. Many do not understand what occurs and simply brush off the behavior. The janitor was displaying behavior that could be interpreted as typical grooming behavior (repeatedly seeking and singling the child out, gift giving) with the OP's child. And by the way, it only takes a moment or two for a person to inappropriately touch a child.
 
Old 01-04-2011, 12:17 AM
 
10,135 posts, read 27,383,582 times
Reputation: 8398
Actually, the janitor is in a position of authority at least as far as a third grader is concerned. And apparently has unlimited access to the children in this school. And, he is not a "stranger" as that term is used in the stats. These people are like the vampire who will never die trying to establish what a great guy the janitor must be.
 
Old 01-04-2011, 05:03 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
1,030 posts, read 1,450,023 times
Reputation: 255
where'd the OP go????
Maybe she got eaten by the janitor...
 
Old 01-04-2011, 01:34 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,656,471 times
Reputation: 20851
Quote:
Originally Posted by gobrien View Post
What a weird question, she is just glad she didn't get in the class. She's in middle school.
The paper said he was a high school teacher.

Its not a weird question in my view. Predators, especially like the one you are talking about, target specific types of children in specific situations. I wouldn't WANT my high school age child in a class with a man who has sex with teenage girls but I also know she wouldn't be victimized by that type of guy either.
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