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I was one of the oldest in my class due to the cut-off date, and agree with those suggesting not to worry; I would much prefer being the oldest, not the youngest. I was also smart and a very good student, but always attended schools were we were able to move along at our own pace (in elementary school) and were not restricted by grade (in high school). Rather than worry about starting date, I'd put your energies into finding a decent school when you move.
I am glad that your experience was not typical but on the other hand you have only your personal experience to go on and I have had over 700 students. I stand by my statement, frequently (again not every time) the youngest students in their grade have more social and maturity issues than the students who are the oldest.
I am also a teacher and I concur. I am not teaching this year but last year I had a freshman girl who was 13 when school started. She got close with another student was was 18 (a senior). Of course her mother "forbid" her to date him but they were in class together (chorus) plus they would see each other at lunchtime so she could forbid outside dating, but she really couldn't stop them from being together at school.
If she had been in middle school I am certain she would have made the all state chorus for middle school. However, since her mother pushed her ahead she was a high school student and had to compete against the high school students to be in the high school group.
She didn't make it. I wasn't surprised because so few freshmen do make it but she didn't have a chance....but she would have made the middle school group.
I have seen this dozens of times. The really young high school kids have trouble in high school because they are participating in activities which assume a certain level of physical maturity that is missing in these 13 year olds.
Any suggestions on how to get around the cut off date would be appreciated! Here in FL the cut off date is Aug. 30 however we plan on moving back to NY in a few years where the cut off date is Dec. 30. I do not want my child to be an entire year behind. She is extremely smart I have been told by her day care providers and as a teacher I can see how much more advanced she is than her peers. Can anyone reccommend a private prek and kindergarten in the world golf village area on St. Johns county or southern Jax?
An entire year behind who?
Every mother thinks her children are extra bright, but is getting to the end of school a competition? You want your daughter to enter her senior year at the age of 16 as opposed to 17 ahead of who? Herself?
The truth be told, if you start her at 5 in kindergarten, then move to a state that allows children to begin k who don't turn 5 until December 30, the only kids she will be older than, are the very few (What, maybe 3 or 4?) whose birthdays are between her birthday and December 30. Why is that an issue?
We yellowshirted one of our kids who was in the gray zone here with a Nov birth date. He had another year of preschool and when he got to high school won just about every academic award a kid could get.
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
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I see where the OP is coming from. If her child has an early September birthday and she starts school in Florida, she will be in the "right" grade for where she lives. But if she moves to New York where the cutoff is 12/31 then she will be in the "wrong" grade. No one in her child's grade will even have been born in the same year as her. All of the September, October, November, and December birthdays will be in the grade above. The next oldest child in her grade will have a January 1 birthday. That is a pretty big gap.
We had a chance to move to NY earlier this year and I have a daughter with an early November birthday. Even I was upset that if we moved, my daughter would be the only one in her grade with a 2001 birthday. And while I appreciate teachers' point of view, I do not enjoy my child being even near the oldest currently (we have a Sept. 30 cutoff). She is a leader and in an advanced academic program, but my biggest reason I dislike her being the oldest is that she is developing physically in 3rd grade. This would be much less of an issue if she were in the 4th grade. I realize that being the youngest isn't ideal, but being the oldest is not always that great either.
So, OP, I cannot offer you any Florida-specific advice, but I do sympathize with you.
I have to concur with much of the other advice here, though I certainly sympathize with the mother whose daughter is developing early. I think it's hard to know what is right when you're looking at such a young child and it's later when the differences become so apparent.
I have also seen many kids over the years who ran into problems because they were too young for their grade. Rarely do they have academic struggles because, as others have said, smart kids are going to be smart no matter what grade they are in. But I've had many parents comment to me over the years that their kid has struggled socially because of being young for their grade.
It's really a bummer for the kid to be the youngest and least mature in the group (been there, done that.) We know that all kids fall on a spectrum, so there's no way to know if your kid will be larger/smaller than average, super-coordinated or naturally clumsy, athletic or not, etc, but statistically the kid who is a year younger than many in the group is likely to be smaller and less physically coordinated (less likely to do well in sports, learning a musical instrument, etc.) Not a huge deal at first, maybe, but over time many students DO find their skills at those things and gain confidence and become leaders. They may miss out on that.
When they get to high school, they'll be 13. They will be (statistically speaking--no way to know if they'll get there early OR late--super bummer) smaller and last to develop among their peers. They'll drive last, pass all the milestones last in the group when it's no longer a big thing. And all for what, to get to college one year sooner?
When they get to high school, they'll be 13. They will be (statistically speaking--no way to know if they'll get there early OR late--super bummer) smaller and last to develop among their peers. They'll drive last, pass all the milestones last in the group when it's no longer a big thing. And all for what, to get to college one year sooner?
Another thing, which was really weird for me since I was "older" was when we got to college and had to fill out forms which you had to be 18 to sign. People who where younger like 17 literally had to have their parents come down and sign any sort of consent form they needed for school. For me, I wanted to join the gym and all I needed was my license, for them it was they had to call their parents for consent and have them come down because they where still minors.
We had a chance to move to NY earlier this year and I have a daughter with an early November birthday. Even I was upset that if we moved, my daughter would be the only one in her grade with a 2001 birthday. And while I appreciate teachers' point of view, I do not enjoy my child being even near the oldest currently (we have a Sept. 30 cutoff). She is a leader and in an advanced academic program, but my biggest reason I dislike her being the oldest is that she is developing physically in 3rd grade. This would be much less of an issue if she were in the 4th grade. I realize that being the youngest isn't ideal, but being the oldest is not always that great either.
Many parents of the fall babies hold them back a year so I think you will find that your daughter will not be the only one with a 2001 birthday.
I also doubt that your daughter will be the only one with a 2001 birthday. Presumably other children also relocate, and fall cut-off dates seem to be far more common in most parts of the country. Even with a September cut-off date here I hear a lot of parents talking about holding their children back, even when the school officials deem them ready for school. It's more popular with boys, but from the parents I know, anyway, it seems to be of increasing interest for parents with girls, too. I think some of that is a reaction to the fact that modern kindergarten is far more "academic" than it used to be, so parents (who can afford it) figure that they'd rather just give their children an extra year in a quality preschool. I can understand some of the OP's concerns, but don't think that rushing to find a private kindergarten is her answer. (of course if it is, or if she's set on the idea, hopefully someone from her area can recommend a good one!)
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