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I just graduated from a private school that was k-12. I can tell you, that the elementary and middle school are completely different now than when I was in that division. Most of the faculty has changed. The curriculum has changed. The buildings have changed. The dress code has changed. I mean, a lot has changed in a short amount of time. With these changes, I don't know if the school would have served me the same way it did when I attended there.
For what it's worth, my parents visited like nine different schools before settling on the school they chose. I ended up in two vastly different public schools for 2nd and sixth grade. (One was a typical rural so-so South Carolina school and the other was a city school that was supposedly a good school.) For me, private worked better. On the other hand, my sister is going to a public charter school.
Even in private school, a lot of my friends had experiences with public schools. A lot of them only went to private school because their parents made them. For some people, public school suited them better, for others, private school was clearly the better option. Each person is different.
And even with that, I had friends who had siblings in other private schools or public schools, and the parents just took it on an individual basis with each one of their children.
My thinking is, if you're feeling guilty, then you must think your child will be missing out on something by sending them to public school. What exactly is that? Is it important? Would your child do better in public school or private school?
Let me give you some more information. I went to private schools that were not the most expensive (Catholic). I thrived by making friends with a group of good kids and was near the top of my class academically. Overall, I had a very good experience. My only complaint would be that since I was at the top of the class, I feel that I had nowhere to go.
I know in good public schools there are more AP classes and such. But that's only at the high school level. If she's been in a small school setting all her life, it seems crazy to throw her in with 600 kids per grade in high school. And that's when I have to worry about social ills like drugs and inappropriate sex.
One of the things I really valued about my schools was the intimacy. It's how I was able to build lifelong friendships. Although there were more kids per classroom than in most public schools, it was only two classrooms per grade from K-8. I'm concerned that the public elementary I'm looking at has seven classrooms per grade. If my kid makes some good friends in K, there's only a 1 in 7 chance of landing in the same classroom the next year. I find that as adults private school alums keep in touch with childhood friends much more so than public school alums.
As far as private having restrictive rules, I found the OPPOSITE to be true. Sure, there are stricter rules about appearance but those are the rules you have to follow in the real world anyway. There isn't lots of red tape and if you develop a reputation as a good kid, you can have lots of autonomy.
Let me give you some more information. I went to private schools that were not the most expensive (Catholic). I thrived by making friends with a group of good kids and was near the top of my class academically. Overall, I had a very good experience. My only complaint would be that since I was at the top of the class, I feel that I had nowhere to go.
I know in good public schools there are more AP classes and such. But that's only at the high school level. If she's been in a small school setting all her life, it seems crazy to throw her in with 600 kids per grade in high school. And that's when I have to worry about social ills like drugs and inappropriate sex.
One of the things I really valued about my schools was the intimacy. It's how I was able to build lifelong friendships. Although there were more kids per classroom than in most public schools, it was only two classrooms per grade from K-8. I'm concerned that the public elementary I'm looking at has seven classrooms per grade. If my kid makes some good friends in K, there's only a 1 in 7 chance of landing in the same classroom the next year. I find that as adults private school alums keep in touch with childhood friends much more so than public school alums.
As far as private having restrictive rules, I found the OPPOSITE to be true. Sure, there are stricter rules about appearance but those are the rules you have to follow in the real world anyway. There isn't lots of red tape and if you develop a reputation as a good kid, you can have lots of autonomy.
I hate to break it to you but our kids ran into that MORE in their Catholic schools then they have in their public schools. Our kids went to Catholic elementary school. I agree, the smaller classes and the community they had was wonderful but they DO have that in the public schools with the activities they are involved with. Their marching band, for example, is much like their classes at the Catholic school. They are all friends, they all get along, all share a common goal. It's wonderful. No, they aren't friends with everyone in their class in school, they don't even KNOW everyone in their class in school but they find their niches and it works out fine.
I hate to break it to you but our kids ran into that MORE in their Catholic schools then they have in their public schools. Our kids went to Catholic elementary school. I agree, the smaller classes and the community they had was wonderful but they DO have that in the public schools with the activities they are involved with. Their marching band, for example, is much like their classes at the Catholic school. They are all friends, they all get along, all share a common goal. It's wonderful. No, they aren't friends with everyone in their class in school, they don't even KNOW everyone in their class in school but they find their niches and it works out fine.
Agreed... I went to public schools, and when I went to high school, lemme tellya, some of those Catholic school girls were MUCH wilder than my public schooled classmates!
As a former teacher, I was offerred a job at a private school, and turned it down, because the salary did not match, the benefits were not as good. The only "benefits" were children from homes that were homogeneous, in putting education first. I stayed in public school. So, don't think that the best teachers are in private schools. Many of my peers went to private schools, the classes were smaller, they had less work to do, and more hands on involvement with parents, which is what they wanted. Note, if your children ever need any special education services, public school is better, unless the private school is specialized.
The only guilt the OP should worry about is if you knowingly choose an inferior school when you can afford otherwise. I think there is no automatic advantage to private schools. If the public schools in your area meet your requirements (whatever they are), then try them. If you are unsatisfied for some reason - change schools. Children adapt easily (far more easily than their parents).
FWIW - I discount almost completely the fear of 7 classes per grade. It can be exciting to meet new kids each year. The friends from "last year" might be on their soccer team outside of school. Five years later they mix again in middle school.
There's no reason to feel guilt if the public school option meets your child's needs. Whether you go public or private, what YOU do with your child, educationally, is going to be far more important than what school you choose for your child. My mediocre public school education served me far better than my SO's private prep school education did, because my parents were FAR more involved in my education than his were in his (figured that because they sent him to a "good school" - which in his case was full of rich kids and all the drugs their parents' money could buy - they could be very hands-off). I was more than prepared for the rigors of college, as it turns out, while SO struggled. The school itself is only a part of the puzzle.
There are two instances in which I would oppose sending my kids through a given public school system, and as it happens, both of them apply to my local public district. That is:
- If the public school system has lost its accreditation
and,
-If the public school system is a dangerous environment, i.e. violent crime is a documented issue.
The problem is that we're not already in a good public school district. We can afford to move to a good one but worry about turning our lives upside down and then not liking the school. If we were already in a great district, we would definitely try it but I don't think anyone is in a great district without purposely having planned it (and spending lots more for the same type of house).
The problem is that we're not already in a good public school district. We can afford to move to a good one but worry about turning our lives upside down and then not liking the school. If we were already in a great district, we would definitely try it but I don't think anyone is in a great district without purposely having planned it (and spending lots more for the same type of house).
If you can afford to move and don't like the school, can you then also afford to send the kids to the Catholic school? Is that an option?
I loved the Catholic part of our kids' elementary education and missed it when they moved into the public schools--however, the educational opportunities were so much better in the public schools that one outweighs the other. If the Catholic school you are sending your kids to is that much better than your public schools, yes, I would send them to the Catholic school.
Also, there is no guarantee you will like the Catholic school either.
Are there any magnet schools in your district? My kids went to specialized programs, the schools they went to were almost like private schools, at public school expense. My son went to an elite program, got an IB high school diploma. So, that may be an option for you.
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