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Old 08-23-2012, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,533,269 times
Reputation: 14692

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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy* View Post
Nope, different first names. He received one paper back that was graded before this was all resolved. My child clearly wrote his name on the back and she had crossed his name out and wrote in the other childs name.

The other child doesn't go by his given name. He uses a different first name, so I think that just added to the confusion. Instead of having 2 Smiths in her class, she now had 3...not really, but she had to learn that Bob Smith went by Dave Smith and then realize that there was also a Joe Smith. Of course those are not their real names, but used as an example.

They mail report cards home at the end of the school year, and we actually got his and my son's in the mail this year. They were both addressed "To the parent of Joe Smith" but when I opened the first one, it was for this other boy.

She just said "these things happen, there are a lot of names and faces to learn"...which I understand. However I felt bad that I received a negative verbal report for another child and that I viewed his report card. That was none of my business and we know the family so I felt really awkward afterwards.
Now that everything is computerized, it's difficult when kids have nicknames that don't match the given name. When I was student teaching, I had three brothers who all had the same first name and went by their middle names. Last year I had two girls with the same last name where neither went by their given name or a nickname that really fit the given name. Linda went by Kayla and Carla went by Kalie. I kept wanting to record "Kayla's" grades under Carla's real name. Just when I had myself convinced I had it stright, I'd think "no it's the other way". And yes, I did accidentally show the wrong grades to the wrong parents. We do our best. When you come up and introduce yourself as "Kayla's mom" and Kayla's real name is Linda and I have a Carla in the class with the same last name...mistakes happen. There is a reason legal documents are in your child's given name.

I even had one kid who went by a different first and last name. He was named after his father who was AWOL so he used the name his mother had wanted to name him and her maiden name.
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Old 08-23-2012, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,145,293 times
Reputation: 51118
Quote:
Originally Posted by ObserverNY View Post
Please forgive my cynicism, but was this particular parent arrested 18 years prior for threatening you or others with a gun? If yes, I would think you would have had grounds to get a restraining order put in place.
I tried to get a restaining order but couldn't for multiple reasons. First, she only "hinted" about the gun & never came right out and openly threatened me or anyone else. The student was in my classroom so I had to deal with this parent at times, the school district was afraid of her because she had sued the district several times and caused great difficulty for them in many other ways and the other staff and parents were scared of her and refused to testify/ agree with me publically in front of a judge.

The end result was that this parent was not allowed on school property without a written invitation by a staff member (any visits had to be cleared with the principal or director of special education before they were issued by the teacher or therapist). When she arrived at school, and was buzzed in through the locked front door, she needed to show the note in the office and she was not allowed to walk in the building or talk to any staff without the principal or an administrator walking with her and being present during the entire meeting. After the meeting the administrator would walk her outside the school building (sometimes even to her car). Needless to say, parent conferences and IEP meetings, as well as the day to day teaching her child, were VERY stressful.

Although, it is rare there have been several other parents, with several other special education teachers, in my upper-middle-class suburban school district where they used the same basic procedures.

It is very difficult, for many reasons, to get a restaining order against a parent of one of your own students. Since I was the only appropiate special education teacher for her child they couldn't even transfer her to another teacher. Over the years this parent treated almost all of the teachers and therapists in the same manner. It was just more difficult for me as I was the first teacher when the child was in 1st grade and needed to deal with regular education inclusion.
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Old 08-23-2012, 08:53 AM
 
Location: On the border of off the grid
3,179 posts, read 3,165,237 times
Reputation: 863
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I tried to get a restaining order but couldn't for multiple reasons. First, she only "hinted" about the gun & never came right out and openly threatened me or anyone else. The student was in my classroom so I had to deal with this parent at times, the school district was afraid of her because she had sued the district several times and caused great difficulty for them in many other ways and the other staff and parents were scared of her and refused to testify/ agree with me publically in front of a judge.

The end result was that this parent was not allowed on school property without a written invitation by a staff member (any visits had to be cleared with the principal or director of special education before they were issued by the teacher or therapist). When she arrived at school, and was buzzed in through the locked front door, she needed to show the note in the office and she was not allowed to walk in the building or talk to any staff without the principal or an administrator walking with her and being present during the entire meeting. After the meeting the administrator would walk her outside the school building (sometimes even to her car). Needless to say, parent conferences and IEP meetings, as well as the day to day teaching her child, were VERY stressful.

Although, it is rare there have been several other parents, with several other special education teachers, in my upper-middle-class suburban school district where they used the same basic procedures.

It is very difficult, for many reasons, to get a restaining order against a parent of one of your own students. Since I was the only appropiate special education teacher for her child they couldn't even transfer her to another teacher. Over the years this parent treated almost all of the teachers and therapists in the same manner. It was just more difficult for me as I was the first teacher when the child was in 1st grade and needed to deal with regular education inclusion.
Wow. You have my sincere sympathy. How many millions of dollars in legal fees did this litigious boar of a woman cost your district? This is the problem with "mainstreaming" some special needs students. Imho, the district did both the child and you the teacher, a disservice by allowing the child to remain in the school after the first lawsuit. An alternative placement setting would have been better for all involved.
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Old 08-23-2012, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,145,293 times
Reputation: 51118
Quote:
Originally Posted by ObserverNY View Post
Wow. You have my sincere sympathy. How many millions of dollars in legal fees did this litigious boar of a woman cost your district? This is the problem with "mainstreaming" some special needs students. Imho, the district did both the child and you the teacher, a disservice by allowing the child to remain in the school after the first lawsuit. An alternative placement setting would have been better for all involved.
The funny thing about your comment was that the school district DID try to move the child into another school in another district and the parent sued to keep the child at her neighborhood school.

I'm not sure if it was millions of dollars but they definetly paid lawyers hundreds of thousands of dollars defending themselves from this parent and her wacky requests. You would be shocked by many of those requests but I don't want to mention any in case she is hanging around C-D (as I'm still afraid of her).
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Old 08-23-2012, 12:57 PM
 
Location: On the border of off the grid
3,179 posts, read 3,165,237 times
Reputation: 863
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
The funny thing about your comment was that the school district DID try to move the child into another school in another district and the parent sued to keep the child at her neighborhood school.

I'm not sure if it was millions of dollars but they definetly paid lawyers hundreds of thousands of dollars defending themselves from this parent and her wacky requests. You would be shocked by many of those requests but I don't want to mention any in case she is hanging around C-D (as I'm still afraid of her).
Better safe than sorry, Germaine. There's no pleasing some people. In the end, you know you did your best for the child. Imagine that poor child's life at home!
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Old 08-23-2012, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,145,293 times
Reputation: 51118
[quote=germaine2626;25768440]
Quote:
Originally Posted by MatildaLoo View Post
Heh, how strange: this article also shows up as trending on my Facebook page.

I have to say, it's lists like these that make me hesitant about seeking teacher certification. Becoming a teacher has been something I've thought about for years.

Are parents really this nightmarish?[/quote]

Yes, some of them are!

Although, it is hard to give percentages about 80 to 85% of my student's parents were perfectly normal, typical parents with acceptable behavior, 5 to 10% were outstanding to deal with and extra thankful or extra nice, 9% were difficult and 1% were (as another C-Der wrote) bat shyt crazy.

To give examples of bat shyt crazy I have had several parents over the years where the office/principal either had to call the police or threaten to call the police because the parent's behavior had crossed the line to threatening or attempting physical violence towards me or other teachers/staff.

Eighteen years after dealing with a particularily difficult parent I still sit in restaurants facing the door in case she comes after me, or others, with a gun. Just this last Monday I met several teachers at McDonalds and got a little anxious because there were two entrances and large glass windows and it was hard to find a place to sit where I could see who was coming inside before they saw me. And I had her daughter 18 years ago! BTW other teachers/therapists who had to deal with this "parent in denial" have told me that they also scan the crowd to make sure that this mom isn't around them.

I taught young special education students. Typically I was the first teacher to test and have to inform the parents that their child had special needs. Some parents were in deep denial and did not take the news well. These parents could be extremely difficult to work with on a day to day basis.

I am now retired but if I had to do it again I would still become a teacher.
To the person who contacted me: please read carefully. I never said that she came after me with a gun the part in red implies that I was worried that she would (due to comments she made to other parents regarding me and other teachers/therapists).


It was another parent who stood up at an IEP meeting and raised his hand to strike me. Again, please read carefully he raised his hand to strike me he didn't actually strike me (possibly because the principal immediately stood up between us).
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Old 08-23-2012, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Lehighton/Jim Thorpe area
2,095 posts, read 3,101,998 times
Reputation: 1705
As frightening as your story is, your statement that you still would have become a teacher is very reassuring. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
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Old 08-23-2012, 06:50 PM
 
809 posts, read 1,330,697 times
Reputation: 1030
A good friend named her twins Stephanie and Stephen. The school always listed homerooms, honor roll etc. in the newspaper. The editor at the newspaper always deleted Stephen from the list because he thought someone made a mistake. Kids made fun (teased Stephen) that Stephanie made the honor roll and he didn't. According to classmates, Stephanie was the smart one. Stephen finally decided if he wasn't on the homeroom list he didn't need to attend school. Mom thought otherwise and in 9th grade had both kids start using their middle initials as well. Problem solved.
By the way, at HS graduation Stephanie was #3 in the class, Stephen was #5. My friend always said the kids at the school were correct, Stephanie was smarter. I guess they were right,luckily Stephen's self confidence was so great it didn't bother him. If kids thought he was dumb being #5, so be it.
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Old 08-24-2012, 05:55 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,728,104 times
Reputation: 20852
Quote:
Originally Posted by MatildaLoo View Post
Heh, how strange: this article also shows up as trending on my Facebook page.

I have to say, it's lists like these that make me hesitant about seeking teacher certification. Becoming a teacher has been something I've thought about for years.

Are parents really this nightmarish?
The vast majority are not.

A small proportion are "this nightmarish".

Unfortunately, the "nightmarish" ones take up a disproportionate amount of your time. So it seems like they are more common than they are.
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Old 08-24-2012, 06:16 PM
 
10,114 posts, read 19,401,000 times
Reputation: 17444
I haven't read all this thread, so excuse me if I repeat some points.

Once in HS and once in college, a teacher lost an assignment. This was back in the day when copy machines were not readily available. My father taught me to either make a copy, or at least keep rough drafts. If typed, I used carbon paper (who knows what that is, raise your hand!).

Well, for the HS paper, my teacher insisted I didn't turn it in. I asked if I could redo it, I had the rough draft, but he took one letter grade off. Well, at least I had the rough draft. A few weeks later, he found the original paper, and told me so. he gave me an A, when he didn't have to acknowledge it. My parents were never involved, they didn't even know about it.

In college, the instructor simply lost a whole box of assignments. She just said so what, mistakes happen, if you have a copy and can turn it in by 5 pm, OK, otherwise, tough! Well, I had learned much from HS, I had a carbon, then she wanted to take off points for "neatness" when it was the carbon that was smeared!

Well, I learned---always keep a copy, stuff happesns! Sometimes, teachers are "honorable" and fess up, like my HS teacher did. Sometimes, they are complete pr**cks. Bottom line, you can't do much without their goodwill.

Look, you keep a copy of you income tax forms, don't you? So, always keep a copy of school assignments, etc. I always keep my kids graded papers until the final grade is posted! It just makes sense!
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