Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So unplug the tv and let the chips fall where they may.
In spite of not being heavy tv watchers, and being huge readers, 2 out of my three kids rarely open a book. But, they are still excellent students. I think the part that bothers me most about your attitude is that you think you are too busy to read to your children. Even if it never inspires them to be independent readers, they will still benefit from the closeness, and they will absorb what literature you choose to share. How can that be a bad thing?
So unplug the tv and let the chips fall where they may.
In spite of not being heavy tv watchers, and being huge readers, 2 out of my three kids rarely open a book. But, they are still excellent students. I think the part that bothers me most about your attitude is that you think you are too busy to read to your children. Even if it never inspires them to be independent readers, they will still benefit from the closeness, and they will absorb what literature you choose to share. How can that be a bad thing?
It is not a bad thing... and we do it every evening...but I could certainly do with days when I don't have to do it. This evening I came back from home at 8, also with bronchitis. All I wanted was to crush on the couch, not spend 30 minutes reading aloud to my 7 yo.
How is that such an outrageous thing?
My parents NEVER did it. I feel like I have to do it every God-given evening to do right by my child.
Long way between the two extremes.
It is not a bad thing... and we do it every evening...but I could certainly do with days when I don't have to do it. This evening I came back from home at 8, also with bronchitis. All I wanted was to crush on the couch, not spend 30 minutes reading aloud to my 7 yo.
How is that such an outrageous thing?
My parents NEVER did it. I feel like I have to do it every God-given evening to do right by my child.
Long way between the two extremes.
I've got to say that reading to my kids was not my very favorite parenting activity. Once they could read, I would grab my own book and we would read side by side for about 30 minutes. I liked the cuddle time, but saw no reason to read to them if they knew how to read. Also, my husband and I took turns and since he's not much of a reader, he was okay with reading to the kids. Once we had #3, I had the older kids read to our youngest fairly often. If reading to your son is so unpleasant, I think you know what message he's going to get.
The Iron Curtain fell. It was bound to. We won. Soviet- style communism lost. (It was doomed the minute the white smoke drifted up from the Vatican when John Paul II was elected. You cannot deny the destiny of a Pole.)
You live here. Not there. It's dead. That society will never exist again.
Some kids read. Some don't. Your's doesn't. Get over it. Take him to the used bookstore yet?
So you guys confirm that his disinclination to read independently has to with the ADHD?
Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore
If the diagnosis of ADD/ADHD is correct, then it is very likely he simply cannot indulge in reading for pleasure as his body or brain won't let him do so. Once he is able to have better control over his body/brain you will see changes in his abilities and desires.
I thought the rest of this post was brilliant but need to set something straight here. It is simply not true that a child with an AD/HD dx is unable or unwilling to read, due to their condition. I myself have ADD and it sounds like in the same degree as your son, OP. I was a voracious reader all of my life and that only slowed down some in the teen years when I found myself completely unable to focus and I think depression added to ADD was the reason but hard to say now. I never took meds until just a few years ago.
I know I'm not unique in this as I was on an AD/HD forum a few years ago and there was a long and passionate thread started about AD/HD and reading and quite a few of the members loved to read. I think it's simply a matter of taste and the OP may be pushing too much or at least your anxiety may be showing. Or not and he just doesn't care to right now. If I were you Syracusa, I would continue to read to him as you've been doing and stop worrying about it. Read a bit or a lot beyond his age group and let him do something with his hands while he listens. One of these days you guys will get a great story going and he won't be able to wait for you to finish and he'll go in and finish the book up while you're not looking. Or not--most kids don't like to read. I don't understand it myself but it's true.
About meds--I have no opinion on what you should do. If it were my child I would try other things first and there is some product on the market that I've not tried yet but it's a homeopathic medication + brain supplements and you can google it. I would try that first and then if everything you try is working but he's still struggling then I might consider starting him on a half dose as I believe that a lot of docs overmedicate.
Right. Except that I am afraid you are largely missing the point here. Whether the Soviets lost or not, whether "you" won or not (who's "we", by the way?) is very far from the point of these posts I have made. You have successfully managed to miss it all.
But "you" won...and this is all that matters after all, isn't it.
I've got to say that reading to my kids was not my very favorite parenting activity.
I don't dislike it at all. I enjoy it on many evenings; but it can get tiresome when you feel like you have to do it every darn evening, especially when you are so tired most of the time.
My argument was that the level at which parents are expected to be "involved" in their children's educational development, whether with helping with the homework or reading to them daily...is simply unrealistic and too much, especially for those parents who also work full-time, among others.
And yet, the reality is that children of those parents who just say "no" to that kind of involvement end up doing less well in school than the children of parents who pump into their kids like there is no tomorrow.
Many do just so nowadays.
I just wish reading was one of those few things he burns for. It's not.
I think you just answered your own question.
Now you need to step back from this because you're riding him too much. I know this is very very hard for you to accept because you have an image of the type of child you want- your posts are full are of shoulds and oughts and "I never wills" and you think that your failure to mold him completely into the image you have formed of him is some failure on your part. You don't want him to grow to hate you do you?
It is not a bad thing... and we do it every evening...but I could certainly do with days when I don't have to do it. This evening I came back from home at 8, also with bronchitis. All I wanted was to crush on the couch, not spend 30 minutes reading aloud to my 7 yo.
How is that such an outrageous thing?
My parents NEVER did it. I feel like I have to do it every God-given evening to do right by my child.
Long way between the two extremes.
You have made it a chore. Seriously, you do NOT have to read to him every night to do right by your child.
You have succumbed to some sort of competitive craziness and you seem to think it will cause your son to develop a love of reading. If he is not interested, back off.
Honestly, it sounds to me like you are putting too much pressure on him. He will probably learn to hate reading rather than to love it with that attitude. Reading for me and my kids was simply part of the bedtime routine, but there were nights when we skipped it. Sometimes they were too tired from whatever physical activity had gone on during the day. Sometimes we were too tired from work. It wasn't a big deal to skip a day or two here and there.
Right. Except that I am afraid you are largely missing the point here. Whether the Soviets lost or not, whether "you" won or not (who's "we", by the way?) is very far from the point of these posts I have made. You have successfully managed to miss it all.
But "you" won...and this is all that matters after all, isn't it.
No. I'm getting it all. Definitely. The point is you aren't accepting your son for what he is. You choose to place blame and explain this and that and what seems to be "my son isn't reading because I grew up in a country that didn't have colorful children books".
It doesn't matter. Your son is what he is. You can't seem to accept that. (Thus your long posts which, to be honest, I can't decide if they are one big excuse or one big vent.) Your mindset is that for him to be a success in life, he must be a reader now.
I say rubbish. Your son's future is not dependent on him pouring through Treasure Island when he's nine. (Though he might just enjoy it.) You place a lot of blame and have a lot of complaints. But how your child turns out is dependent, in large part, on how you parent him. Not the capitalists. Not the competitive nature of American society. You. God Bless America. If we screw up our kids we can't blame the government because the government doesn't decide how we parent. And if we end up with great kids we get to take all the credit. Uncle Sam doesn't get to beam and say, "That's my boy!"
(An explanation on the "we". I'm an American. I'm also someone who traveled behind the Iron Curtain at the height of the Cold War and lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis. I'll save the travelogue and the explanation of true fear for a more appropriate forum. It was Us vs. Them. Team US. Literally.)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
